Long time

Been a long time since I posted on this website.

Couldnt sleep last night with so many thoughts racing through my mind, I wanted to get up at half three in the morning to post on here what I thought might help me sleep. However, I turned my body to face the left of the bed, closed my eyes and must have fallen asleep. I have heard that sleeping facing that way is not recommended. But Im not sure so if someone can correct me, Id be grateful.

I had full intentions of waking up at around six, showering and praying Fajr but none of it happened. I have just showered and prayed now in the hope that I will be forgiven for being distant from religion in so long. When it comes down to it, I have been fortunate enough to always have felt consolidated by religion. This is where friends and family have failed to help. But then, why did I let my self distance from religion? Why did I become lazy in something that I considered to be the foundation of my daily life? Why am I not lazy in other matters which are only relevant in the worldly fashion?

I listen to music sometimes although I have downloaded many Islamic related apps on my phone. I can now even memorise again thouse surah's that I had forgotten over the past two years. Yet, I listen to music and then fall asleep before listening to some of the things I have downloaded to remember and memorise for religious reasons. Which makes me question, why am I deliberately delaying?

I thought about it. And my conclusion is that I feel guilt over the past few years. Guilt about the distance and because I am the sort that justifies my actions along the way I feel awful for the whole time not to have considered religion. How stupid of me. To feel that I have justified an action without giving religion a second thought. Never did I think: 'hey, you know this action is forbidden in Islam, so this is the disadvantage of going through it'.

Now the consequences are that I feel guilty and sick everytime I step on the prayer mat. Completely sure, that God has forgotten me. Although I know Allah is the almighty and that he created and loves us all.

The only thing for me to do is pray and read the Qu'ran.

I have read lots of crap reflection blogs on this website. They are terrible. There seemed to be no depth in some of them and I don't feel that the author of those blogs that I am thinking will reflect or even consider changing in relation to what they are talking about. They come across as 'Look at me, I am so intelligent with my thoughts but I wont get up and carry my actions out'. and if they do, they probably want complimenting on.

Some blogs are excellent though (North South person).

 

Comments

First thing. You HAVE TO tell me please if im on of those "look at me!" people. I swear i wnt feel anything negative ttowards you. Im still learning n im really crap at communicating, even though i havent posted on here in ages you might have read stuff frm before. So pleaaaaase tell me.

second. Im in no place to advice u. Especially right now as im pretty much in same boat as you. Unlike you though, i havent been able to answer the why questions... What ive decided to do inshaaAllah  is to put the past behind. Im going to learn my lesson by trying to remember those feelings of feeling totally crappy n disappointed/causing disappoinyment (To Allah coz He's so awesome yet im so..urgh..disappointing) ive decide to take stuff like that out n remember it. But im nt going to focus on the past too much. im going to pull my socks up. Clean my act up. Sort myself out or whatever n do my best. N slowly slowly go back to my lord. First with the obligatory actions. Then with the voluntary ones. Ill post ahadith on that when i get on pc inshaaAllah.

 

edited: corrected spelling mistakes coz typed the above on phone..

here's the hadith:

The Prophet,  sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may Allaah exalt his mention ), said: “Allaah The Almighty Says, ‘…And the most beloved thing with which My slave comes nearer to Me is performing what I made obligatory upon him; and My slave keeps on coming closer to Me through performing voluntary deeds (prayer or doing extra deeds besides what is obligatory) until I Love him. When I Love him I Become his hearing with which he hears, his seeing with which he sees, his hand with which he strikes, and his leg with which he walks; and if he asks (something) from Me, I Give him, and if he asks My Protection, I Protect him.’” [Al-Bukhaari]

 

wouaw, i just found this amazing article while looking for the above hadith:

 

Twenty-year-old

Kareem sat before a Shaykh in the neighborhood mosque after listening

to his touching speech about the sweetness of worship. The following

dialogue took place between them:
Kareem: As-Salaamu ‘Alaykum, How are you Shaykh? May I talk to you for a short time?
Shaykh: Wa ‘alaykum as-salaamu wa rahmatullaahi wa Barakaatuh. Welcome dear brother, yes of course you can. Go ahead!
Kareem:

I have heard many callers to Allaah speak about the rank of loving

Allaah The Almighty and that it is among the highest ranks.
Shaykh:

Yes, indeed, they have told the truth. It is a rank that people compete

to reach and exert great efforts for that, and it is the food of the

hearts.
Kareem:

Yes, by Allaah, whoever tastes this will know that for sure. However, I

want to reach a rank that is higher than that. I hope that Allaah The

Almighty loves me and showers me with His Mercy.
Shaykh: Ma shaa’ Allaah. You please me so much with your aspiration and love for your Lord. The rank which you seek was mentioned by Ibn Al-Qayyim  may Allaah have mercy upon him in his commentary on the verse in which Allaah The Almighty Says (what means): {Allaah will love you and forgive you your sins.} [Quran 3:31] “Being

beloved by Allaah is higher than loving Allaah. It is not loving Allaah

that matters, rather, it is being loved by Allaah.” Performing

voluntary acts of worship after performing the obligatory acts is one of

the ways to reach this hoped-for goal and this precious aim.
Body and soul
Allaah

The Almighty created man from body and soul and made for each one of

them its sustenance that enables it to be sound and continue to prosper.

As we talk about the soul, it is important to know that Allaah The

Almighty made many acts of worship permanent and renewable resources for

the provision that the soul needs to be purified and to rise above the

shackles of sins and the boundaries of the earth. Each act of worship

has a different effect from the other; they complete each other and

cover all aspects of man’s life especially the life of the youth which

is filled with energy, strength and vitality.
Among

these acts of worship, there is a great act of worship beloved by the

Most-Merciful. It is the foundation of the edifice of faith. The

Prophet,  sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may Allaah exalt his mention ), repeatedly said about it: “Relieve us with it, O Bilaal!”

It is prayer which is rest for the self from the worries of life. If we

had talked before about the need of the youth to worship, prayer is a

renewable source for spiritual power. Its timings are distributed

throughout the day and night to provide continuous and renewed

sustenance. While praying, the person throws away the hardships of life

to stand submissively and humbly before Allaah The Almighty. He kneels

down, prostrates himself, recites and listens to the Quran, glorifies

and sanctifies Allaah, seeks His Forgiveness and supplicates Him. Prayer

is like an ascension of our souls to Allaah The Almighty; far away from

the attractions of the earth and the temptations of life. Which need to

worship does prayer fulfill?
 
Prayer disciplines:
The

emptiness of the souls due to their deprivation from the effect of

prayer makes them go astray and makes them thirsty to worship Allaah The

Almighty, who made the observance of prayer and its timings a serious

matter that greatly contributes to quenching the thirst of the youth who

need worship. Moreover, it imbues the life of the youth with

seriousness and punctuality. Allaah The Almighty Says (what means): {Indeed, prayer has been decreed upon the believers a decree of specified times.} [Quran 4:103]
Observing

these times will result in an important feature of seriousness in the

life of the youth especially in the stage of adolescence.
Voluntary prayers:
After

perfecting the obligatory prayers which are considered the basis of the

building, we move to talk about voluntary prayers which elevate the

person in degrees of perfection. Any youth who performs obligatory

prayers walks in the way of success. However, the person who performs

voluntary prayers is more successful and of a higher degree than him.

Here is another feature of prayer because it disciplines the person to

seek perfection and master the work to reach the best state. When the

person performs the obligatory prayer, he knows that it is not free from

defects so he seeks to perfect it by performing voluntary prayers to

make up for any shortcomings in his obligatory prayers. Consequently,

keenness on performing voluntary prayers is engraved on the heart and

mind of the youth; a keenness to reach the highest degrees.
The best evidence:
The

best evidence for what is mentioned is that Allaah The Almighty told us

about and clarified that whoever does voluntary acts of worship reaches

a higher and more elevated degree and rank than the person who does not

offer more than the obligatory acts of worship. The person who

perfectly performs the obligatory acts of worship loves Allaah The

Almighty; whereas the person who further performs voluntary acts of

worship is beloved by Allaah. The Prophet,  sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may Allaah exalt his mention ), said: “Allaah

The Almighty Says, ‘…And the most beloved thing with which My slave

comes nearer to Me is performing what I made obligatory upon him; and My

slave keeps on coming closer to Me through performing voluntary deeds

(prayer or doing extra deeds besides what is obligatory) until I Love

him. When I Love him I Become his hearing with which he hears, his

seeing with which he sees, his hand with which he strikes, and his leg

with which he walks; and if he asks (something) from Me, I Give him, and

if he asks My Protection, I Protect him.’” [Al-Bukhaari]

urgh, if the formatting of it comes out all urghy and you hate it as much as i do, here's the link:

 

Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary?

When people go through a bad experience, they usually mull over it for a while in their own way which suits them and then they slowly come back to reality and work towards a happy reality again. I am working towards. Nothing is eating away at me. I am being lazy and fortunately now starting to become a bit more sensible with my actions and judgements. I don't know why you would assume something is eating away at me. Or maybe you feel that you have 'got' me after reading my blog so thought you were asking the right questions. I don't know.

As for Lilly, I dont think its sensible to start naming those peoples blogs that I think are crap. My own threads and blogs on here probably bother them the same way as theres bothers me. But the reason why I wrote about those crap blogs was because I genuienly hate them. And I think thats okay to express.

And finally, thank you for that hadith. I read it a few times and I like it. Gives me some hope!

@Acc. course you shouldnt mention the blogs. i just wanted to know if one of MY blogs were. if they are. then go ahead and mention them!

 

im glad you liked that hadith. it does give hope doesnt it!

and Titanium was just asking, she wasnt assuming anything about you. she hates assumptions as far as im aware and im sure she wldnt do that to someone else.

Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary?

That's okay. Im completely aware most people think that they are special and that their problems have never existed in the whole entire world. Im not one of those. Dont feel comfortable rattling on about personal things on a website.

Accountontherevival wrote:
That's okay. Im completely aware most people think that they are special and that their problems have never existed in the whole entire world. Im not one of those. Dont feel comfortable rattling on about personal things on a website.

 

*facepalm*

you're second sentence. this is not the reason why people talk abt their problems online.

Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary?

Lilly wrote:
Accountontherevival wrote:
That's okay. Im completely aware most people think that they are special and that their problems have never existed in the whole entire world. Im not one of those. Dont feel comfortable rattling on about personal things on a website.

 

*facepalm*

you're second sentence. this is not the reason why people talk abt their problems online.

1) Do you have a problem?
2) That sentence was a reply to Titanium's post where he/she said that most people feel that they are not understood or something (need to read back up)
3) So my response was yes, there are people like that out there and that I dont feel my worries are special, just that I dont want to discuss on here.
4) Why did you feel I was justifying OTHER peoples reasons to talk about their problems?

*facepalm*

Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary?

Titanium wrote:
Right. You really sound like u have issues that u wont disclose cos u just assumed that everyone on here is a self centered brat. How human of you. 

 

Please dont patronise forum members cos i can feeel a vibe of arrogance from your posts.

I was just showing onterest in ur blog or ur existance on the forum. I wish I hadnt.

 

i was just curious abt ur blog and thought hmmm if he bothered to make a blog abt it maybe he's looking for aomeone qho liatens or reads and replies. i understand if u dont want to share espo if its personal. 

I made a blog and Im grateful that you read it and showed some concern. I didn't realise whilst I was writing the blog that it would show that there was something to be concerned about because there isn't. I pretty much explained bits and bobs about myself in a forum (?) thread the last time I was on here.

I have no intention of patronising or being arrogant. I just get understand why there is the need to be so bloody emotional on this site? I would very much like to reply to posts with my first initial thoughts. Maybe they arent respectful. And I need to learn to become a bit more respectful. If you dont like it, tell me now, because I can go elsewhere. Lets make it simple.

And also, Im going to apologise for upsetting. Didn't really realise that I was.

PS. If I want to tell someone to 'F off', shall I:
a) Ignore the post OR
b) put in extra effort and reply nicely?

Why on EARTH would you want to tell someone to 'eff off' in the first bloody place?!?

Its not about how emotional people are, there's just no reason for people like you to go and offend others by the way you come across. No one knows you well enough to take your words in a 'jokey' way.

You're probably just a very outspoken individual, but whats with all the agression? Suddenly you feel the need to call someone a 'Twat' and then you're assuming you'll find a reason to tell them to eff off? What's all that about?

No one's forcing you to go through the EFFORT in writing a blog or coming here, if you're getting all defensive and worked up about it.. don't wait for someone to ask you to leave. You're probably smart enough to figure out whether you're wanted or not.

Just take a  moment and think about how YOU'D feel if you were in another persons position, before posting offensive and disrespectuful remarks on a public forum.

 

 
You sounds like an angry person. You should try doing the Zikhr of Allah (swt) maybe that will calm you down. Ive always found a peaceful person is also a compassionate person. So if you did calm down you might find that you dont need to tell everyone to F'Off.
 
Also have you bothered reading the forum rules? IF not then maybe you should read them over first before posting anything further.

And I heard as it were, the noise of thunder. One of the four beasts saying come and see and I beheld, a pale horse. And his name that sat on him was Death... and Hell followed with him.

Accountontherevival wrote:

PS. If I want to tell someone to 'F off', shall I:

a) Ignore the post OR

b) put in extra effort and reply nicely?

 

whichever you feel like.

a) will lead to no convo/dead topics

b) will lead to conversation.

 

so whichever you feel like having.

and if you wanna tell someone to go away. you need to figure out why (yes, you do need to, life isnt as simple as saying f off to someone just coz they get on your nerves)

and when you figure out why, then you can go on from there.

 

anyway, whatever.

Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary?

@ Accountontherevival. There are several narrations which report that the prophet Muhammad (S) slept on his right side. Hence this would be the best way to sleep. If you're going to bed telling yourself, im going to sleep on my right side because this is a Sunnah and something that the prophet (S) did, your sleeping will become Ibaadah, worship. 

Also, it was narrated from Qais bin Tihfah Al-Ghifari that his father said: 'The Messenger of Allah (S) found me sleeping in the masjid on my stomach. He nudged me with his foot and said: 'Why are you sleeping like this? This is a kind of sleep that Allah dislikes' or 'that Allah hates'. (Sunan ibn Majah).

I'm not very sure if there is a direct prohibition of sleeping on the left side, because i haven't come across it yet.

 Imam Shafa'i states that there are four types of sleep:

  • One is to lie on the back which is the sleep of the Prophets. 
  • One is to sleep on the right side which is the sleep of the worshippers. 
  • One is to sleep on the left which is the sleep of the rulers. 
  • And one is to sleep on the stomach which is the sleep of the devil.

Even today, scientists are coming out with ideas and theories to suggest that sleeping on the back or right side is the best way and not to sleep on the left side or stomach. It has something to do with the position of our organs in our body and the fact that we shouldn't squash them.

 

awesome post Hummus

 

and yeah. heart on left side. so when you sleep on left, heart squashed. needs more work to pump blood round or something, whatever the case, heart cant rest properly.

Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary?

Hummus wrote:
There are several narrations which report that the prophet Muhammad (S) slept on his right side. Hence this would be the best way to sleep..

I think Noor once told me this but I couldnt remember which side she said was best

thanks for this!!