"NaJ/19" wrote:

if your ustaad told u to leave uni would you?

how are u managing to balance your uni and madressah

1. I dont know, cos then there would be a conflict between my dad and my Ustadji and in Islam the father has more rights than the Ustad. But as it is, now both my father and my Ustadji want me to complete uni and get degree so I cant really deliberately fail cos then Im going against both of them, and thats not good.

2. About balancing uni and madrassah. Well at the moment Im only in uni (in sheffield) and madrassah is in Birmingham. Ustadji today told me to concentrate this yr on making the Quran that I know pakka, and also to daily read 2 para nazara. This way my back will inshaALLAH be strong and also my nazara will improve and I will be more familiar with Quran. Then in summer holidays which are 3 months I should start learning sabaq again. So chances are I'm not going either hajj in winter, nor does it look like I'm going back home in winter or summer so there goes finding a rishta in pakistan for another year. But My Ustadji gives best advice for students. I'm thinking of asking some ulama I know and also Ustadji if they know of a possible rishta in uk, cos now Im gonna be in sheffield and my dads bought a house there for me aswell, so I dont see any reason why I cant get married (unless Im too ugly which might be true lol)

"Med" wrote:

...but Ustadji goes I have to stay there and get a first degree. And that I have to join with tableeghi jamaat and do gasht in the uni, he said that doing that will protect me about 85/90% inshaALLAH. Subhanallah my Ustadji is so wise and so great...

So you joining the T/J's then? :twisted:

If you do, plese make sure you are open minded.

Not al of thm are naiive. however I work (well used to... he left this week...) with one, and his views were naiive.

If he disagreed with anyone, that meant the other person was fighting Allah (swt) as Allah was always on his side.

He was too paranoid, with everyone out to get him.

However I did not argue with him because I admired his enthuiasm.

I went to him once that everyone thinks differently, and islam does not force you to think in only one way. His reply: there is only one correct way to think! all the others are wrong.

PS Med what do you make of [url=http://www.therevival.co.uk/forums/viewtopic.php?t=614]this?[/url](Ettiquette of Disagreement)

mashaALLAH your comments on TJ are enlightening. May ALLAH forgive you.

I am too tired to read that.

"Med" wrote:

[ But My Ustadji gives best advice for students. I'm thinking of asking some ulama I know and also Ustadji if they know of a possible rishta in uk, cos now Im gonna be in sheffield and my dads bought a house there for me aswell, so I dont see any reason why I cant get married (unless Im too ugly which might be true lol)

lol u joka...well if u want a lady who knows her job ie..to cook then u better of with someone from PAKILAND.......but if u 1 of them who find it difficult controlling 1 self then dont wait...be it pakiland or england, so yea its good u gonna seek help from your ustaads , i bet they know enough ppl

Lol the cooking can be learnt, and the cleaning and the washing up.

If I was into just cooking, cleaning and washing then I could have chosen loads of girls from my relatives back home. Infact the lady my mother wanted me to marry has beauty, good family, is quiet and subdued, shy and also can cook and clean. So if I was looking for beauty, or cooking, or cleaning, or washing, or obedience then I could have said yes to my cousin, infact she was very good and her character matches mine in everything except one, she isnt religious.

No. The cooking etc comes later and is less importatn. So what if she cant cook good food, Im only gonna be in this world for a short time and Im sure I can cope with the food for a few years.

Even I could marry someone and make her religious, tell her to pray, tell her to do purdah and she would listen but in that case all the baggage is on me. If I slip and go wrong then she will aswell. No. I want to marry someone who is obedient and can cook and do homely things but more important than her obedience to ME, is that she is obedient to ALLAH. I want a wife who is gonna shout at me if I dont get up for fajr, I want a wife who shouts at me for smoking, one who refuses to talk to me if I listen to songs etc. I want to have a wife who if she is going rong I can tell her and bring her to the straight path, but also that she should tell me when I go wrong.

But its true, I dont think girls here have the same obedience that they have back home. The advantage of marrying here is that nikah can be done quickly and rukhsati aswell, wheras from back home its gonna take months to get visa etc, and plus she wont know any1 here cos if I marry from back home its gonna be from ghayr family. Thats hard and I dont think its fair marrying a shy purdahnasheen woman, bringing her to uk, away from all her relatives and just putting her with me and my female relatives. If i married a relative atleast she would know my mom and aunts and cousins so she already has a support system here.

I dunno. May ALLAH guide me, but now I have a house and a place on a good degree so first few yrs might be tight but after difficulty comes ease inshaALLAH.

good answer,
i like the fact u care so much about if marrying from pakistan the lady will become lonley over here,
lol true....the cooking cleaning washing dunt matter, i see where u coming from..
i dunno what to say ,may allah give you the best of what he wishes
but most guyz seem to want a lady who can cook, thats the first question they tend to ask can u cook?
lol i feel sorry for my future husband coz i cant cook

"Med" wrote:

mashaALLAH your comments on TJ are enlightening. May ALLAH forgive you.

I am too tired to read that.

Did I say something wrong?

I find the ones I meet to be naiive.

"NaJ/19" wrote:

lol i feel sorry for my future husband coz i cant cook

bechara. I feel sorry for him aswell. I dunno I think I come across wrong in this forum. Yes Im traditional and believe in male-female traditional roles but above all that its religion that matters.

Like I said before. I could easily marry my cousin and she cooks same as my mom cos all the women on my moms side basically cook the same and my mom does cook some great stuff, mashaALLAH. But whats the point of good food if I cant talk to her about deen?

The other thing is I am very ghairatmand. I get jealous very quickly, I couldnt tolerate another man laughing and joking with my wife. I dont speak with women, alhamdulillah, I dont even talk with my cousins wives and nor with my female cousins; so I want a pure wife who behaves like I do. My parents go that I want a slave cos I dont want her talking to my cousins or strange men and I dont want her to leave the house without good reason, but obviously Im not gonna be happy marrying someone who likes going out a lot and someone who speaks freely with men so Im not stupid enough to marry someone like that.

In this light, wanting a purdahnasheen wife means I gonna marry from pakistan, but then cos she would be purdahnasheen she wouldnt like to spk with strangers which makes female friends for her more important, hence my family. And our ulama always stress to us that in nikah it is the woman who makes the sacrifice cos she leaves her world and comes into yours. Marrying a purdahnasheen from UK has advantage that she knows what its like here, the pakistani purdahnasheen might change when she comes here, but the uk one already does purdah and lives in uk. Plus the uk one has her own fmaily and friends here so its not so hard on her, even if she lives away from her family/freinds in a diff city she can fone daily and meet up like every 2 wks.

lol u SO like my bro, hes mentioned some of the things u stated above to my mum, u see theres alot of advantages for u having a british wife or a pakistani wife, i bet its gonna be tough deciding...
but from where i can see ,u are more willing for british with them points
i bet your mum thinks u FUSSY

"NaJ/19" wrote:

but from where i can see ,u are more willing for british with them points
i bet your mum thinks u FUSSY

loooooool. About the first point. The advantage of pakistani is that she will be more likely to be more obedient, will know how to look after the home, but also I can be more picky like saying she has to be hafiza or she cant be over a certain age. Disadvantage she might change when she comes here, or she might be miserable cos she has no relatives/friends here.

Advantage of british is that she obviously has strong imaan if she doing purdah in uk, she will speak english so she can go to bayaan with me and thats another thing to share. Disadvantage is that I will have less choice in regards to her religious education and also her age.

Ideally I would like to marry a relative cos that would make my family soo happy and plus I support cousin marriages as the best marriages. Marrying outside the family is kinda scary cos you dont know what the other family are really like, wheras with your own family you know exactly whats going on and what every1s like. But cousin marriage aint a choice for me cos they dont have deen, and one who is slightly deeni is a hardcore barelwi so that deffo aint gonna happen!

FUSSY! Lol My dad thinks Im fussy but my moms not like that. She doesnt put pressure on me. She's basically worried that Im gonna keep my mrs prisoner cos I dont attend mehndis, rarely go to weddings etc. and dont approve of khatams. and in our family these kind of things are essentials, particulalry for the women. Mom thinks Im gonna be too harsh if I say she shouldnt go to mehndi, that she should keep her niqab on at weddings, that she should try to get out of khatams etc. So actually my moms the kind to worry about the daughter in law more than the son. She is great is my mom.

But my grandmother! She is definitely thinks im being fussy. My dad is the only son of my grandparents who got married. My two chacha are loose canons and my dadis worried im gonna b one aswell. When I came back from pak LITERALLY EVRY1 was asking either me or my parents if I had expressed an inclination, when after a efw wks they found out that I hadnt every1 was on mycase. Especially my dadi, she was saying how im a loser for going there and not making a choice and she kept telling me that if I wait to long they all gonna be married off and then Im gonna be stiuck with whoever will marry me! Thats a great way to boost a young mans confidence innit?!

Then I told dadi that she has to be religious and she goes that when we got married we jus married whoever asked for us, now you young ppl want 'understanding' with the other person. I go that no, i dont wanna do any of that business but obviously she has to be religious otherwise no point marrying her if we dont have religion in common.

"naj" wrote:

inshallah AMEEN, yea hes on dialysis...yea u could get your dads opinion
that would be nice, jazakallah

check ur PM sis.

jazakallah aasiyah..

i want to get tafseer of the quran sharif in english, can anyone recommend

the best 1? or is tafsir ibn kathir the best one, like my m8te mentioned,

well there is one i knw which will be completed very soon (if not already done).....but i have this teeny weeny feelin u wont read it if i tell you who wrote it....not that it should make a diffrence

"naj" wrote:

i want to get tafseer of the quran sharif in english, can anyone recommend

the best 1? or is tafsir ibn kathir the best one, like my m8te mentioned,

Ma'aariful Quran was written in urdu by Mufti Muhammad Shafi Sahib rahmatullahi alayh, the first Grand Mufti of Pakistan and also the Founder of Darul Uloom Karachi.

Subsequently his tafseer has been translated and edited into english by his son, Mufti Taqi Uthmani Sahib. Currently it is available in 8 volumes I think but you can buy one volume at a time.

Ma'aariful Quran
Published by Maktaba Darul Uloom Karachi I think.

I cant comment on tafeer ibn katheer, but for sure Ma'aariful Quran is EXCELLENT, thats the one I ve got aswell and subhanallah it is beautiful.

the ma'ariful quran i've got in urdu...i dont understand some words,i aint so good at urdu, have u got the english version?

gowan HAYDER, who were u going to mention?

"Darth V-Hayder" wrote:

well there is one i knw which will be completed very soon (if not already done).....but i have this teeny weeny feelin u wont read it if i tell you who wrote it....not that it should make a diffrence

Completed and ready for distribution...Irfan ul Quran by Shaykh ul Islam

Koool

is it available to buy then?

"naj" wrote:

the ma'ariful quran i've got in urdu...i dont understand some words,i aint so good at urdu, have u got the english version?

yeh I have the engilish version, mashaALLAH it is extremely good.

i dont want a complicated kitaab, i actually am borrowing the first volume of tafseer ibn katheer, alhamdulillah its really good...id love to have my own collection,i'll prob ask my bro 2 try get the english version of ma'araful quran befor i buy my own

mashaALLAH gud, or you could look at it for a while in shope b4 buying it and keep receipt just incase, in any case I think its a great commentary, 9 pages on BISMILLAH!! mashaALLAH.

thats alot of pages LOL...as long as the kitaab does the job 4 me its cool,
its SAD there aint any big book shops here, i told my BRO to take me else where but..he doesnt have time,1 time he said i cant go..how tight he is ,then he makes me IRON his jubbas

"naj" wrote:

thats alot of pages LOL...as long as the kitaab does the job 4 me its cool,
its SAD there aint any big book shops here, i told my BRO to take me else where but..he doesnt have time,1 time he said i cant go..how tight he is ,then he makes me IRON his jubbas

lol. You poor burnley folk, probably just got shop which sell pint of millk and loaf bread. D'you have t' go t' market for eggs and curry powder? lol

Whereas in bham we have quite a few big bookstores, even one in aloo rock!

And ur brothers got the right idea, u should be ironing his jubbas, gud practice for the future . . .

yea rite, my town aint even that bad....trust me on that one we've enough shops yea,

yea i c your town is pretty big so more shops,but i'd hate to live in big citys

oh yea i 4 got to mention a BOOKSHOP is opening soon lol,but i dont know when SOON is,
as for ironing,i've decided im not ironing anyones clothes apart from my dads...i dont like getting bribed u see

its not comfy sleepin on the floor

"Darth V-Hayder" wrote:

its not comfy sleepin on the floor

lol, yeh. Muhtarama you gonna have to sort your attitude out, cos Im pretty sure ur husband aint gonna have u not ironing his clothes and if u dont he probably kick u off the bed, lol.

i wasn't referring 2 her

i meant me, now!

what u doing on the floor? whats hpnd to ya bed?

MED.....my husband cant do that or i'll have to grow my nails...and i aint soft u get me!

she could tell him to iron his own damn clothes?

After all Islamically she does not have to. Its not her duty.

And these days its probably her who would nick his keys and lock the doors!

i wasn't referring 2 her

i meant me, now!