Is Your Home Like A Hotel?

MuslimSister —

Have family meals gone out of fashion?

As the government plans a national tour to promote its Respect Agenda, published last month, the BBC News website examines the importance of the family meal for fostering respect.

The days of families sitting down together every evening for a meal are often said to be long gone and their demise is sometimes seen as symptomatic of the breakdown in family life.

Can it also have led to a decline in respect between generations?

Various studies have suggested a link between fewer family meals and eating disorders, obesity, drug and alcohol abuse and poor communication skills among young people.

Mealtime aspirations

Kathryn Milburn, professor of sociology of families and health, believes modern mothers find it very difficult to ensure an old-fashioned cooked meal at a set time.

She said: "There is so much pressure on women to be all singing all dancing.

"They are out in the labour market and trying to do other things like supervising children's homework. They face many demands.

Women are very concerned to provide their families with decent meals.

"I completely understand they have to go down the convenience food route."

She has not studied the knock-on effects that not having meals as a family may have on anti-social behaviour but has examined competing pressures on parents.

"If they don't manage to sit down as family every evening it is hardly surprising," said Ms Milburn, who is co-director of the Centre for Research on families and relationships based at Edinburgh University.

"Putting a meal together is definitely something they still value but it is often impossible to do on a daily basis."

Justine Roberts, co-founder of the parenting website netmums.com, agrees.

She said: "One or both parents are not getting home until after bedtime. There is no prospect of an evening meal.

"Most people aspire to it and think it a good thing but it gets relegated to weekends."

But to blame a decline in mealtimes to an increase in anti-social behaviour was a "bit trite", she said.

"It's just another catchy thing to make parents feel guilty. It's just not that simple," she said.

BBC NEWS

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92 comments

star Wed, 15 Feb 2006 - 23:45

Yea Augustus and am so happy someone had the brains to invent something this good

I've just realised they're a good pair of weapons to carry around..

could poke someones eyes out.

Dave Wed, 15 Feb 2006 - 23:48

*DUST*

dave, funnily enuf i'm quicker at eating rice with chopsticks than i am with noodles... :? 😂
and btw, eating with hands really isnt as messy as it sounds! :P

...well aren't you miss culture 2006. How are you quicker at rice than noodles?!

I can barely pick up rice... I have to resort to shoveling, which is grossly rude.

As for eating with ones hands... it might not be as messy as it sounds but it's certainly as unsanitary - especially eating from a common source like chips and dip or something.

I can't handle that except with extremely close people.

So far that club has a membership of 1.

Dave Wed, 15 Feb 2006 - 23:49

najYea Augustus and am so happy someone had the brains to invent something this good

I've just realised they're a good pair of weapons to carry around..

could poke someones eyes out.

hahaha I wouldn't be surprised if it were some sort of weapon in a bizarre martial art - incidentally it's considered very rude to point your chopsticks at a Japanese person or to lay them on your plate... maybe they are afraid you will poke somebodies eye out?

star Wed, 15 Feb 2006 - 23:51

considered rude ? lol........im getting crazy ideas

*DUST*

dave, funnily enuf i'm quicker at eating rice with chopsticks than i am with noodles... :? 😂
and btw, eating with hands really isnt as messy as it sounds! :P

woah! some skill you must have....how much practise did that take ?

*DUST* Thu, 16 Feb 2006 - 00:00

Augustus...well aren't you miss culture 2006. How are you quicker at rice than noodles?!

I can barely pick up rice... I have to resort to shoveling, which is grossly rude.

:roll: 😉 lol i know, its weird, but i guess i've just had more practice with rice... and i find eating noodles with chopsticks more messy, most ppl slurp wen attempting it and i cant stand that... 😂

AugustusAs for eating with ones hands... it might not be as messy as it sounds but it's certainly as unsanitary - especially eating from a common source like chips and dip or something.

I can't handle that except with extremely close people.

So far that club has a membership of 1.

it isnt unsanitary if uv just scrubbed ur hands with soap and are eating from ur own plate thats just come outta the dishwasher... 😉 but i dont mind sharing chips with ppl, and have eaten arab-stylie a coupla times before, that is, sharing from one plate. fair enuf tho, i can see where ur coming from...

*DUST* Thu, 16 Feb 2006 - 00:01

Augustus

najYea Augustus and am so happy someone had the brains to invent something this good

I've just realised they're a good pair of weapons to carry around..

could poke someones eyes out.

hahaha I wouldn't be surprised if it were some sort of weapon in a bizarre martial art - incidentally it's considered very rude to point your chopsticks at a Japanese person or to lay them on your plate... maybe they are afraid you will poke somebodies eye out?

well... Mr. Miyagi did kill flies with em... 😛

*DUST* Thu, 16 Feb 2006 - 00:04

najwoah! some skill you must have....how much practise did that take ?

nah, its not really as difficult as it looks, try it, its actually quite fun. 😉

Dave Thu, 16 Feb 2006 - 00:07

*DUST* :roll: 😉 lol i know, its weird, but i guess i've just had more practice with rice... and i find eating noodles with chopsticks more messy, most ppl slurp wen attempting it and i cant stand that... 😂

Yes slurping is right out - it's all about the angle with noodles - you have to kinda lay them on the top of the bottom chopstick - I usually attack it rom the side.

Is there a particular secret i'm missing with rice?

Augustusit isnt unsanitary if uv just scrubbed ur hands with soap and are eating from ur own plate thats just come outta the dishwasher... 😉 but i dont mind sharing chips with ppl, and have eaten arab-stylie a coupla times before, that is, sharing from one plate. fair enuf tho, i can see where ur coming from...

One plate?!!!

...you're a brave girl.

I don't trust soap - I use it naturally since it's better than nothing. But even antibacterial doesn't kill bacteria - and you really have to watch how you negotiate getting around a bathroom.

Shouldn't touch anything - you'd be amazed what lives on doorknobs

Dave Thu, 16 Feb 2006 - 00:08

*DUST*well... Mr. Miyagi did kill flies with em... :P

I don't remember if I saw that movie...

Didn't he just die?

*DUST* Thu, 16 Feb 2006 - 00:13

Augustus

*DUST*well... Mr. Miyagi did kill flies with em... :P

I don't remember if I saw that movie...

Didn't he just die?

The Karate Kid movies?!! i used to love watching em as a kid... 🙂

yea, Noriyuki 'Pat' Morita better known as Mr. Miyagi, died recently... 🙁

*DUST* Thu, 16 Feb 2006 - 00:20

AugustusIs that why you became a ninja?

:roll: stop it already, i am so not a 'ninja'... 😛 (unless ur referring to the niqab) 😂

Dave Thu, 16 Feb 2006 - 00:21

*DUST*

AugustusIs that why you became a ninja?

:roll: stop it already, i am so not a 'ninja'... 😛 (unless ur referring to the niqab) :lol:

lol actually partly yea - it does look like a ninja doncha think?

Do you wear a Niqab btw?

*DUST* Thu, 16 Feb 2006 - 00:24

Augustus

*DUST*
AugustusIs that why you became a ninja?

:roll: stop it already, i am so not a 'ninja'... 😛 (unless ur referring to the niqab) :lol:

lol actually partly yea - it does look like a ninja doncha think?

Do you wear a Niqab btw?

yea, sometimes.

and ppl here call niqabis 'ninjas' in a derogatory way... :roll: tho i think muslims have gotten used to it themselves and now use it laughingly anyway... 😂

Dave Thu, 16 Feb 2006 - 00:27

*DUST*
yea, sometimes.

and ppl here call niqabis 'ninjas' in a derogatory way... :roll: tho i think muslims have gotten used to it themselves and now use it laughingly anyway... :lol:

Well I feel sheepish...

(you really shoulda mentioned this a while back)

I didn't mean it in a derogatory way!!!

*DUST* Thu, 16 Feb 2006 - 00:32

Augustus

*DUST*
yea, sometimes.

and ppl here call niqabis 'ninjas' in a derogatory way... :roll: tho i think muslims have gotten used to it themselves and now use it laughingly anyway... :lol:

Well I feel sheepish...

(you really shoulda mentioned this a while back)

I didn't mean it in a derogatory way!!!

hey i know u didnt!! lol, and i'd kinda figured a while back that u didn know it was used in a derogatory way... 😛 but even here - ask most niqabis and they probably arent too fussed about getting called 'ninja', whether by a non-muslim or muslim. we laugh it off... 😉

oh, and now i'm really going... 🙂

MuslimSisLilSis Thu, 16 Feb 2006 - 16:17

Augustus

I don't trust soap - I use it naturally since it's better than nothing. But even antibacterial doesn't kill bacteria - and you really have to watch how you negotiate getting around a bathroom.

Shouldn't touch anything - you'd be amazed what lives on doorknobs

:shock:

I wouldnt like to be in ur paraniod mind

Dave Thu, 16 Feb 2006 - 16:22

MuslimSisLilSis
:shock:

I wouldnt like to be in ur paraniod mind

It's a scary scary place...

lol I don't have any normal fears - I've walked through the absolute worst spots in harlem in the middle of the night without a care, and i've messed come across poison snakes and been chased by some impressively dangerous creatures, I can handle ridiculously unsafe speeds in cars and heights.

But germs are a different story - they're EVERYWHERE... and you can't get rid of them!

As fast as you kill em they come back - they are crawling all over you RIGHT NOW, and you can't even see them...

It's a horrible world

100man Thu, 16 Feb 2006 - 16:23

The other day my flatmate went shopping and I saw he stocked up with toilet paper. However I also noticed he had hidden it in his room instead of making it available. When I queried this he suggested I hadn't been buying toilet paper, which as it happens wasn't the case, and I suggested that our purchases were pretty 50/50 although I couldn't help noticing I've bought all the soap since moving in, and he said - he gets a bit uptight so it was kind of funny - he said what am I on about he doesn't even use soap. Then trying to calm down he says, "I know that might sound really unhygeinic but I don't." But I have been a pain to live with so I can't go calling him petty.

MuslimSisLilSis Thu, 16 Feb 2006 - 16:26

Dave it'd be better if u was normal and scared of monsters that u CAN see in life e.g snakes etc

rather than things that u cant even see :roll:

so wud u ever eat in someone else;s house?

Dave Thu, 16 Feb 2006 - 16:30

MuslimSisLilSisDave it'd be better if u was normal and scared of monsters that u CAN see in life e.g snakes etc

rather than things that u cant even see :roll:

so wud u ever eat in someone else;s house?

I used to have a serious problem with that but now not so much... with people I trust it's no problem but with strangers or people I dont know to well it's a different story

Dave Thu, 16 Feb 2006 - 16:31

100manThe other day my flatmate went shopping and I saw he stocked up with toilet paper. However I also noticed he had hidden it in his room instead of making it available. When I queried this he suggested I hadn't been buying toilet paper, which as it happens wasn't the case, and I suggested that our purchases were pretty 50/50 although I couldn't help noticing I've bought all the soap since moving in, and he said - he gets a bit uptight so it was kind of funny - he said what am I on about he doesn't even use soap. Then trying to calm down he says, "I know that might sound really unhygeinic but I don't." But I have been a pain to live with so I can't go calling him petty.

...doesn't...use...soap?!

RUN AWAY.

RUN FAR AND RUN FAST!!!

Do you have ANY idea what that means?!

MuslimSisLilSis Thu, 16 Feb 2006 - 16:32

Augustus

I used to have a serious problem with that but now not so much... with people I trust it's no problem but with strangers or people I dont know to well it's a different story

wow :shock:

what a life-imagine always refusing to eat in ppl's house cos of ur paraniod nature

u must come across as being VERY rude at times

its an insult to refuse food in many cultures

Dave Thu, 16 Feb 2006 - 16:36

MuslimSisLilSis

Augustus

I used to have a serious problem with that but now not so much... with people I trust it's no problem but with strangers or people I dont know to well it's a different story

wow :shock:

what a life-imagine always refusing to eat in ppl's house cos of ur paraniod nature

u must come across as being VERY rude at times

its an insult to refuse food in many cultures

I have a series of clever outs

"No no I just ate"
"Oh i'm sorry i'm allergic to X"
"Well I will be leaving in just a few short seconds but thank you"

Or if I don't like the person.

"I don't like you. And I don't want your greasy disgusting food"

MuslimSisLilSis Thu, 16 Feb 2006 - 16:37

Augustus

I have a series of clever outs

"No no I just ate"
"Oh i'm sorry i'm allergic to X"
"Well I will be leaving in just a few short seconds but thank you"

it may seem clever to u Davie boy

but refusing food-howver u say it is RUDE :evil:

and to think-he wants to send ME to finsihing school :roll:

Dave Thu, 16 Feb 2006 - 16:41

MuslimSisLilSis
it may seem clever to u Davie boy

but refusing food-howver u say it is RUDE :evil:

and to think-he wants to send ME to finsihing school :roll:

THEY ARE CLEVER EXCUSES.

It might be RUDE but it's a necessity!!! I don't want to catch SALMONELLA OR BOTULISM or God knows what else because the host was too RUDE to wash their hands with a soap product on the list of approved anti-bacterial soaps!

MuslimSisLilSis Thu, 16 Feb 2006 - 16:43

Augustus

It might be RUDE but it's a necessity!!! I don't want to catch SALMONELLA OR BOTULISM or God knows what else because the host was too RUDE to wash their hands with a soap product on the list of approved anti-bacterial soaps!

Davie boy

if u ever fall ill in life

it'll be due to metal instability triggered off by ur paraniod nature

NOT because some host neevr washed their hands with bleach before opening a can of coke for u :roll:

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