Getting married young

TheRevivalEditor

yuit Now, too me it does seem that too much secular thinking in term of marriage.

so you've joined the medieval way of thinking aswell...ah well.
if u dont agree with us, you are influenced by secularism!

I didn't know Med had monopoly over this. I just happen to think in this particular example of marriage it is the case. Islam is rarely used in the thinking involving marriage and it evident for everyone too see by the wedding customs. I just call it as I see it.

yuit

TheRevivalEditor

yuit Now, too me it does seem that too much secular thinking in term of marriage.

so you've joined the medieval way of thinking aswell...ah well.
if u dont agree with us, you are influenced by secularism!

I didn't know Med had monopoly over this. I just happen to think in this particular example of marriage it is the case. Islam is rarely used in the thinking involving marriage and it evident for everyone too see by the wedding customs. I just call it as I see it.

but if ppl say that a young lad 16/17 might find it difficult to be a proper husband, properly suffort his wife or father a child in a years time or so etc..that is not being influenced by secularism....
if a guy thinks he can handle it and then thats excellent...
alot of ppl who dont want to get married is not because they dont agree with it, its just that for alot of ppl its not practical, theyre not ready, theyre not mature enough, they cant handle the responsibility....and that decision should be respected not ridiculed.

Brother Yuit from what I understood the people on this topic were referring specifically to MuslimBrother and in general to other young muslims who are ready for marriage. I dont think anyone was talking about immature people who are unready for marriage being forced into marriage; i though we were talking about young muslims who felt they were ready and responsible to marry.

TheRevivalEditor

yuit

TheRevivalEditor

yuit Now, too me it does seem that too much secular thinking in term of marriage.

so you've joined the medieval way of thinking aswell...ah well.
if u dont agree with us, you are influenced by secularism!

I didn't know Med had monopoly over this. I just happen to think in this particular example of marriage it is the case. Islam is rarely used in the thinking involving marriage and it evident for everyone too see by the wedding customs. I just call it as I see it.

but if ppl say that a young lad 16/17 might find it difficult to be a proper husband, properly suffort his wife or father a child in a years time or so etc..that is not being influenced by secularism....
if a guy thinks he can handle it and then thats excellent...
alot of ppl who dont want to get married is not because they dont agree with it, its just that for alot of ppl its not practical, theyre not ready, theyre not mature enough, they cant handle the responsibility....and that decision should be respected not ridiculed.

However I was talking in reference to this case. The brother projected himself in a good manner to me and seem to be thinking of such a action due to his islam. However, most of the response were not responsed in that thinking, talking about immature youngster are. Alhumduillah I agree alot of them are, but not all. I think the mst important thing where marriage is concern is faith in Allah swt and trust in him. Now too me there is no age limit on this. Some people are ready at 16 while some aren't at 30. However, there a common thinking that no one is ready for marriage till they are in their mid 20 and too me this isn't coming from Islamic source.

Beautiful. Most excellent.

yuit

TheRevivalEditor

yuit

TheRevivalEditor

yuit Now, too me it does seem that too much secular thinking in term of marriage.

so you've joined the medieval way of thinking aswell...ah well.
if u dont agree with us, you are influenced by secularism!

I didn't know Med had monopoly over this. I just happen to think in this particular example of marriage it is the case. Islam is rarely used in the thinking involving marriage and it evident for everyone too see by the wedding customs. I just call it as I see it.

but if ppl say that a young lad 16/17 might find it difficult to be a proper husband, properly suffort his wife or father a child in a years time or so etc..that is not being influenced by secularism....
if a guy thinks he can handle it and then thats excellent...
alot of ppl who dont want to get married is not because they dont agree with it, its just that for alot of ppl its not practical, theyre not ready, theyre not mature enough, they cant handle the responsibility....and that decision should be respected not ridiculed.

However I was talking in reference to this case. The brother projected himself in a good manner to me and seem to be thinking of such a action due to his islam. However, most of the response were not responsed in that thinking, talking about immature youngster are. Alhumduillah I agree alot of them are, but not all. I think the mst important thing where marriage is concern is faith in Allah swt and trust in him. Now too me there is no age limit on this. Some people are ready at 16 while some aren't at 30. However, there a common thinking that no one is ready for marriage till they are in their mid 20 and too me this isn't coming from Islamic source.

Islam doesnt put an age limit, just when u become baligh...
u get married when you feel u are ready..if thats 16-cool, if thats 35- cool.

TheRevivalEditor

yuit

TheRevivalEditor

yuit

TheRevivalEditor

yuit Now, too me it does seem that too much secular thinking in term of marriage.

so you've joined the medieval way of thinking aswell...ah well.
if u dont agree with us, you are influenced by secularism!

I didn't know Med had monopoly over this. I just happen to think in this particular example of marriage it is the case. Islam is rarely used in the thinking involving marriage and it evident for everyone too see by the wedding customs. I just call it as I see it.

but if ppl say that a young lad 16/17 might find it difficult to be a proper husband, properly suffort his wife or father a child in a years time or so etc..that is not being influenced by secularism....
if a guy thinks he can handle it and then thats excellent...
alot of ppl who dont want to get married is not because they dont agree with it, its just that for alot of ppl its not practical, theyre not ready, theyre not mature enough, they cant handle the responsibility....and that decision should be respected not ridiculed.

However I was talking in reference to this case. The brother projected himself in a good manner to me and seem to be thinking of such a action due to his islam. However, most of the response were not responsed in that thinking, talking about immature youngster are. Alhumduillah I agree alot of them are, but not all. I think the mst important thing where marriage is concern is faith in Allah swt and trust in him. Now too me there is no age limit on this. Some people are ready at 16 while some aren't at 30. However, there a common thinking that no one is ready for marriage till they are in their mid 20 and too me this isn't coming from Islamic source.

Islam doesnt put an age limit, just when u become baligh...
u get married when you feel u are ready..if thats 16-cool, if thats 35- cool.

Agree, it just that this subject has been discussed about a 100 time on this forum in the past year and it does seem like the same agrument is used when looking at age of marriage and a person deen and devotion is never really mention.

angel

Struggle is good and it also goes to show how much faith one has in Allah (swt) but i think for generations to come, their way of thinking is set that they want an easy life and them not havin basic islamic values means they are not willing to have patience. I feel those ppl who marry young and aren't financially stable can lead to their marriage being ruined, many girls nowadays like to spend money, even waste money and if they feel their husband aint providin them with it they wont like it and some may kick a fuss. One has to also be prepared mentally and has to be mature to go into a marriage, which is a really really big step which i personally believe many 18 yr olds are definitely not ready for!

good point angel

if i look at most of the guys out there with are my age-i cringe to think what kind of husbands they'd become

so immature/and stupid with no sense of responsiblity

some weak men think that just cos they "need a woman" they must get married ASAP :roll:

fasting is too hard for them

its tru that if a guy lacked self control before marraige-what garentee is there that he'll stay on the right track after marraige

Why focus on the negative, why tar all the young muslims with the same brush. Alhamduillah I see many young muslim married at Uni and they seem to be doing ok. Also alot of newly wed also lived at home, no matter what their age, so why the big deal. We not talking about taking all 18 years off the street, we talking about the one with the right intention and who doing it for there islam.

"Uni age" aint young-

its the time MOST people choose to get married

beofre that is classified as being "too young" -thats the age I'm referring too

if u think that unemployed/immature boys with no qualifications (which is nearly everyone under the age of 18

can handle marraige-cos they "need a woman"

than thats YOUR opinion-u can even go and matchmake them for all I care

but I dont agree with u at all

so what?

Let not get too excited here, just giving my opinion. People go to Uni at 18, plus I am refering to the person who ask the orginal question. First thing you need to understand is that most immature people under the age of 18, don't want to get married, second thing is not all are immature, some are very mature and that why they considering marriage in the first place. As the hadith stated if you are fearful that you may fornicate, it is recommended to get married. So there is nothing wrong with taking that position if the person understand his role as a husband in Islam.

I'm also giving my opinion

guys aged 18 and under should NOT get married

guys who DATE cos they cant control themselves-should practise self contrl and fast if need be-NOT get married ASAP

why would a decent girl want to get married to someone who cant control himself?

I am simply going with what is said in the Quran and Sunnah. Keeping away from fornication is a reason to get married in Islam. In islam, age doesn't matter where marriage is concern so if you under 18 and feel mature enough and know the role of a husband then you should get married. That is just my opinion.

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yashmaki
An important question. Why is it that brothers and sisters alike will say they want to get married but the only thing holding them back is money. Well these same individuals are usually very willing to take out loans on interest to fund their studies, and their homes. But they seem to be at a loss in providing for a wife.

These individuals will sit on the dole, and student grants buy a new pair of shoes every week, yet cry in despair i wana get married but i've got no money.

personally i havent taken any loans out simply cuz i didnt feel the need to, but one has to prepare themselves financially and mentally rather than goin into marriage blindly.

What 18 yr old has a house of their own? If this 18 yr old is studin (he may have to pay for that) if he has a house he will have to pay the mortgage for that, if he has a wife he has to pay for her clothes/food etc and if they later have a child they will have to pay for the child (babies are very expensive). What 18 yr old can afford that, you cannot expect your parents to pay for all that! If an 18 yr old is financially/mentally stable and wants to get married i would say go for it.

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yashmakiyou've obviously taken the comments personally :roll:

no no sorry if it came across like that, i was just goin with the 18 yr old example, sayin would an 18 yr old be able to pay for all the above mentioned, once again i didnt take it personally.

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I agree with Yash, I think everyone need to refer back to the hadith that one of the brother quoted earlier.Three groups of people Allah obliged Himself to help them: Mujahid in the cause of Allah, a worker to pay his debt, and the one who wants to marry to live a chaste life".(Tirmidhi) I agree that marriage isn’t going to be easy, but I have seen it done by people who had the right intention. It is quite simple, people tend to rent out room for £60 per week when at Uni, add a extra £10-20 and you can get yourself a one or even two bedroom flat. You also will save a lot more money with food as homemade food is easier and cheaper, you may not be able to buy the latest playstation games or the latest £120 Nike trainers, but you have to be willing to make a compromise. I seen people do this on a student loan and a weekend job and ofcourse working over the summer. It can be done quite easy it just need people to have the right intention.

yashmaki. Why is it that brothers and sisters alike will say they want to get married but the only thing holding them back is money. Well these same individuals are usually very willing to take out loans on interest to fund their studies, and their homes. But they seem to be at a loss in providing for a wife.

These individuals will sit on the dole, and student grants buy a new pair of shoes every week, yet cry in despair i wana get married but i've got no money.

WAH WAH!

a MOST EXCELLENT post, particularly the sections quoted above.

Those who say that marrying just cos you need a woman is not a good enough reason are confused. Sayyidina Adam alayhis salaam had all the pleasures and comforts in paradise but something was lacking, a companion. ALLAH could have given Sayyidina Adam alayhis salaam parents or brothers and sisters but no, the thing Hadrat Adam alayhis salaam needed was a wife.

This is how natural it is for humans to have a spouse. Naturally ALLAH has created man that when he reaches puberty he naturally becomes inclined to and needs a wife. This includes the physical aspect but also the emotional and mental aspect. Generalising that 18 yr olds just need women for physical needs is harsh and I think perhaps a misconception from some women.

There is no denying a mature man needs a woman for physical needs but it is also true that they need a woman for companionship. I as a man am commenting on the needs of my gender, I am sure that women also have the same needs. I used to do A levels, went to school, college etc and from what I saw when the person becomes mature he also looks for companionship not just a physical body.

Hence it is entirely natural that a mature man/woman at any age desires marriage. Infaact I think we are being unjust to young men if we put them down as being so shallow as to only be interested in physicality. In bravado young men do act like that, but if you scratch under the surface as I have done with a number of young brothers, it is noted that they also need someone to be their friend and companion in a way that siblings or parents cannot be.

Jazaakallah medievalist, may Allah increase your imaan and keep you on the Sirat al mustaqim.
It is true I am much more sensible and mature than people my age but even I have doubts whether I could be a suitable husband at 18 (nearly 19). Im gonna start uni soon but I will be living at home, so money is not much of a problem for me. I ve told my mum about it, she says that I should get married if I really want to. But my dad gets angry and tells me to finish my studies first.

okay how much money does one 'need' to get married?

20 grand, 10grand, 5 grand, 3 grand.. any offers?

dunno i reckon 10 grand today can get u a half decent wedding.

how long will it take u to save dat up bro? yeh u studying, but working 2 full days a week will get you about £500 a [edit]month :oops: , lets not forget students dont get taxed 🙂

so ur looking at a year and a half if ur totally skint..

then comes the question, how much do u need to support urself and ur wife? okay.. bare necessesities will set u back about a 150 quid a week, food clothes domestic products. maybe i got the calculations wrong?

yes it gonna be a struggle.. but let me tell u bro money always gona be struggle,..

tell u what thogh barkat increases when u get married. follow the sunnah, eat off the same plate as ur mrs, ur money aint gonna run out inshAllah.

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one my mates wedding cost total was £45 Grand :shock:

im staying single!! lol

nah inshallah im gona keep it simple....but not too simple

lol unfortunately thats the average for a wedding these days.

Girls frighten me when they talk about weddings..

For 1. - Why are they telling me this?

and 2. - Invariably every girl wants their wedding to be a coronation.

Guess who's payin for that

I once read in Hadith that the best wedding is one on which little money is spent. Spending lavishly on weddings in a non muslim idea and one which we need to break away from. I only wanna do a nikkah and walimah and leave out all the crap that pakies do

I have recently changed my mind on the subject of marrying young.

Follow me on this one.

According to the CIA the present population of the world is 6,446,131,400 as of July 2005.

http://www.cia.gov/cia/publications/factbook/geos/xx.html#People

7.3 percent of that population is over 65 and hence either married or has no intention of getting married (there are exceptions, but few).

64.9 percent of the world is between 15-64 while we don't have statistics on the percentage of that which is of marriagable age (20-35) we do know that it is probably a sizable proportion.

And yet I have only attended two marriages in the last year.

2!!!!

Do you have any idea what that means?! ONLY TWO WEDDING CAKES!!

and as you all know the only reason to get married is for the CAKE!!

DELICIOUS SIX FOOT HIGH LIFE SIZED TERRACES OF CAKE WITH MOUNTAINS OF ICE CREAM

27.8 percent of the population is under 15 - that means that if we allow them to get married I am promised AT LEAST one more delicious wedding cake EVERY YEAR.

EVERY YEAR!!!

THINK ABOUT THAT!

And the more the population grows the more likely the under 15 crowd will get larger which means our base wedding cake population (which is for the sake of argument now 0-35) will be getting larger with each generation!!!!!!!!

Who knows?! by the time I am 80 I might get 5 - 6 even 10 wedding cakes PER YEAR.

The math is behind me on this one.

Can't argue with numbers.

Or cake.

Dave my son....its not about the cake...(partly coz i can never see one!)

its all about the roast chicken my son 😃

deeelicious!

all this talk of food....i need some breakfast!

Darth V-Hayderall this talk of food....i need some breakfast!

It's almost 6:00 over there!

:shock: :shock:

by 'eck dave....ur ryt!