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British gay Muslims seek Islamic weddings

Sajid Iqbal —

British gay Muslims seek Islamic weddings

British gay Muslims are joining the global fight for equality and seeking gay Islamic marriage. The BBC's 5 live Investigates speaks to one couple about their 'nikah' - a Muslim matrimonial contract - and asks how they balance their sexuality with the Islamic faith.

"We met about three years ago, at an iftar - a breaking of fast during Ramadan.

"I think a lot of Muslims find that time of year very spiritual and very enlightening, and so I think that's why our relationship developed, because we spoke about our faith."

"Eventually we went on a date."

Asra recalls the first time she met her partner, Sarah, three years ago. The gay couple, who are also Muslim, are one of a growing number of gay, British Muslims who have cemented their relationship with marriage - Islamic marriage.

Asra fondly remembers the moment Sarah proposed to her.

"After the first date, which was about an hour, Sarah casually asked me to marry her."

Sarah interjects.

"I think it was more like four hours, after dinner, coffee and walking. I didn't really plan it, but it just really seemed like the way it was between us, I should try and keep it as pure as possible.

"That may sound strange being lesbians, but it felt like we should do it the most honourable way we could."
The Muslim way

Asra and Sarah decided upon a 'nikah' - a Muslim matrimonial contract. Whilst nikahs have traditionally been the reserve of heterosexual Muslims, Asra and Sarah were aware that other gay Muslims had followed this route and the couple decided to investigate further.

Read full article here

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151 comments

#31

morales (not verified) Mon, 21 Feb 2011 - 23:18

Foysol89

moralesThe main point I was trying to make was that we shouldn't be so judgemental. That we are dealing with human being, just like the drunks, druggies and adulterers, these people don't ask to be the way they are, they all victim of their environment.

im sorry but how can you say that druggies, adulterers, drunks and homosexuals have no choice. if they had no choice as you say then that would mean people who don't do these things do it because they have no inclination to do these things.

if this was true then what would be the point of Allah testing us if we have no choice but to follow our desires.

moralesbut they be put on this earth for a reason and we as muslims have to deal with them with compassion and mercy which we have been taught from the Quran and Sunnah.

first of all nobody is born homosexual, so therefore Allah did not put homosexuals on the planet, they just chose to be homosexual. secondly where from the Qur'an and sunnah does it say to treat "them" with compassion and mercy.

moralesThe important word is intrepreted, because many groups have intrepreted things in Islam to mean something it doesn't, just like Temporary marriages for Shia and how some Wahabi believe Acholol isn't haram just disliked. Just like with these groups, I don't agree with them, I am happy for the final judgement call to be left with Allah swt, because if we start the habit of putting people out of the fold of Islam, we be left will very few, if any muslims left.

Allah has made some ayats in the Qura'an very clear and others have more than one meaning.
the ayats about drinking and homosexuality are clear cut in meaning.

i agree that we cannot go around saying people are out of the fold of Islam unless it is very clear that they are committing shirk.

Muslims have to stick to their values, whatever Allah has made halal or haraam will always be the same. we as muslims should not compromise these values no matter how "barbaric" or "unjust" some people think they are.

Allah(SWT) knows best

Its a pity you misunderstood most of my points and I don't want to keep going on about the same points again as I sound like a broken record. When I say that people that sin are normally victims of their environment, I didn't mean they have no choice but to sin, it just that their life have been condition to behave in a certain way and alot of people will be more likely to do the wrong thing without fully understanding why, you just need to look at any inner city life or ghettoes to see that.

Last thing Allah swt is all knowing and everything in life has a reason for being, he created all things with a purpose and everything has been written already, gay people aren't here by accident. If you have read the Seerah and not got compassion and mercy from it, the way The Prophet pbuh treated all around him, people need to get away from just theory and look for deeper understanding. When I was younger, I believe that all gay people should be stoned, but as I matured and actually met some gay people, I realised that they are people just like you and me, if anything they in more need for our compassion then most, condemning them doesn't achieve anything.

#36

Foysol89 Tue, 22 Feb 2011 - 06:09

morales

Foysol89
moralesThe main point I was trying to make was that we shouldn't be so judgemental. That we are dealing with human being, just like the drunks, druggies and adulterers, these people don't ask to be the way they are, they all victim of their environment.

im sorry but how can you say that druggies, adulterers, drunks and homosexuals have no choice. if they had no choice as you say then that would mean people who don't do these things do it because they have no inclination to do these things.

if this was true then what would be the point of Allah testing us if we have no choice but to follow our desires.

moralesbut they be put on this earth for a reason and we as muslims have to deal with them with compassion and mercy which we have been taught from the Quran and Sunnah.

first of all nobody is born homosexual, so therefore Allah did not put homosexuals on the planet, they just chose to be homosexual. secondly where from the Qur'an and sunnah does it say to treat "them" with compassion and mercy.

moralesThe important word is intrepreted, because many groups have intrepreted things in Islam to mean something it doesn't, just like Temporary marriages for Shia and how some Wahabi believe Acholol isn't haram just disliked. Just like with these groups, I don't agree with them, I am happy for the final judgement call to be left with Allah swt, because if we start the habit of putting people out of the fold of Islam, we be left will very few, if any muslims left.

Allah has made some ayats in the Qura'an very clear and others have more than one meaning.
the ayats about drinking and homosexuality are clear cut in meaning.

i agree that we cannot go around saying people are out of the fold of Islam unless it is very clear that they are committing shirk.

Muslims have to stick to their values, whatever Allah has made halal or haraam will always be the same. we as muslims should not compromise these values no matter how "barbaric" or "unjust" some people think they are.

Allah(SWT) knows best

Its a pity you misunderstood most of my points and I don't want to keep going on about the same points again as I sound like a broken record. When I say that people that sin are normally victims of their environment, I didn't mean they have no choice but to sin, it just that their life have been condition to behave in a certain way and alot of people will be more likely to do the wrong thing without fully understanding why, you just need to look at any inner city life or ghettoes to see that.

Last thing Allah swt is all knowing and everything in life has a reason for being, he created all things with a purpose and everything has been written already, gay people aren't here by accident. If you have read the Seerah and not got compassion and mercy from it, the way The Prophet pbuh treated all around him, people need to get away from just theory and look for deeper understanding. When I was younger, I believe that all gay people should be stoned, but as I matured and actually met some gay people, I realised that they are people just like you and me, if anything they in more need for our compassion then most, condemning them doesn't achieve anything.

I cant be bothered to keep going on about the same thing so to answer this please refer to mush91's so called essay 🙂

#40

The Seeker (not verified) Wed, 23 Feb 2011 - 00:01

If u drink alcohol u become a non-Muslim for 40days and after that 40days u have to convert back to Islam.nothing do during those 40days would be accepted by Allah (swt) and if u were to die u die a non believer!

#42

Foysol89 Wed, 23 Feb 2011 - 04:10

The Seeker

If u drink alcohol u become a non-Muslim for 40days and after that 40days u have to convert back to Islam.nothing do during those 40days would be accepted by Allah (swt) and if u were to die u die a non believer!

im sorry but what you have written there is completely wrong. you do not go out the fold of Islam for anything accept for acts of shirk.

if one drinks alcohol their prayers are still accepted but they do not receive the reward of prayer as far as i know, i will try and get the hadith to back this up insha allah.

you must not go around telling people who drink that they are classed as kuffar until 40 days later this is completely wrong. you don,t need to just take my word for it check it out for yourself before you go around misinforming people.

May Allah guide us all insha allah 🙂

#44

YouShutup Wed, 23 Feb 2011 - 13:38

Lilly

ThE pOwEr Of SiLeNcE
YouShutupEverybody read Fajr tomorrow! InshaAllah.

Lol thanks for the reminder! Random!

yeah! what was that about?!

an addition though.."AND ALL OTHER PRAYERS"

It's my solution to stopping people from doing the act of gay stuff.

Nothing wrong with it. Actually I would go as far as saying it's the solution to the world's woes.

#47

LookingToSee Wed, 23 Feb 2011 - 22:39

MuslimBro

ThE pOwEr Of SiLeNcE
MuslimBroAre you khawarij?

What?

Said to be the first sect in Islam and held some seriously deviant beliefs.

i think they say a lot of stuff takes you out of Islam.

anyway, whoever said the stuff about the drinking alocohol and 40 day thing. any..hmm..BACK UP. preferably (and solely) From Quran and Sunnah please? JAzakAllah in advance.

#49

mush91 Thu, 24 Feb 2011 - 20:52

omg something just popped into my head again (i thought of this time ago)
teletubbies is bad for kids. why? because it teaches them homosexuality is ok. how? tinky winky is a guy teletubby and he carries a handbag. i mean seriously what the chicken wing is that all about dude!. 🙂
ermm i dont know why im smiling its now become :@

#50

TPOS Thu, 24 Feb 2011 - 20:53

mush91omg something just popped into my head again (i thought of this time ago)
teletubbies is bad for kids. why? because it teaches them homosexuality is ok. how? tinky winky is a guy teletubby and he carries a handbag. i mean seriously what the chicken wing is that all about dude!. 🙂
ermm i dont know why im smiling its now become :@

I dunno why people go on about that - As a child did you think about what gender tinky winky was? I didn't.

#51

mush91 Thu, 24 Feb 2011 - 20:59

yeah but think of it
little boy kids muight start carrying a handbag and it starts from that and by the time you know it they're wearing their sisters clothes and going out with their mates who carry balls and ermmm hats and ermmm i cant remember what poe has so i'll just say a gun!
ok showing homosexuality isnt good to show kids even if it isnt soooo big like sexual acts.
atleast wait for them to become older before exploiting them to that (older meaning 30) 😃

#52

TPOS Thu, 24 Feb 2011 - 21:01

If they don't know/don't pay attention to what gender he is, why would they copy him?

And if it does get to that, the parents can stop them and explain.

All programmes seem to be dodgy these days though :/

#53

Foysol89 Thu, 24 Feb 2011 - 21:02

mush91omg something just popped into my head again (i thought of this time ago)
teletubbies is bad for kids. why? because it teaches them homosexuality is ok. how? tinky winky is a guy teletubby and he carries a handbag. i mean seriously what the chicken wing is that all about dude!. 🙂
ermm i dont know why im smiling its now become :@

i just saw you post this on the other post, made me laugh so much. then i thought about it and i think you have caught onto something. that's why i hate it when kids watch all these kids programs and they have all these gay presenters.

Definitely need to watch out for these little things trying to brainwash our young brotheres and sisers

#54

mush91 Thu, 24 Feb 2011 - 21:04

true that
they even have a show (well useto) called naked chief like whats that about? haha
nah im joking lol but on a level though i know what you mean now everything haram is made to look normal
i think thats the reason why you now see more and more younger generations getting worse
like before not that many things useto happen and now its getting worse always

#55

TPOS Thu, 24 Feb 2011 - 21:08

mush91 i know what you mean now everything haram is made to look normal
i think thats the reason why you now see more and more younger generations getting worse
like before not that many things useto happen and now its getting worse always

Yeah, does contribute to it

#56

mush91 Thu, 24 Feb 2011 - 21:12

ok i know this is soooo off topic but how do you get them little writing things at the bottom of your commentsand that
e.g your one says

“Everything has two ends and a middle. If you grab one end, the other will slant, but if you take the middle, both ends will balance. Stick to the balanced middle in all affairs.” Wahb bin Munabbih.

Yo! It's me, T.Don. I'

#57

Foysol89 Thu, 24 Feb 2011 - 21:22

mush91ok i know this is soooo off topic but how do you get them little writing things at the bottom of your commentsand that
e.g your one says

“Everything has two ends and a middle. If you grab one end, the other will slant, but if you take the middle, both ends will balance. Stick to the balanced middle in all affairs.” Wahb bin Munabbih.

Yo! It's me, T.Don. I'

i've only been here a week and i figured that out on the second day 🙂 yes i am rubbing it in your face :LOL:

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