How do you save yourself from Immorality?

zdc —

Now that people know I am trying to reform myself, I would just like to know how do you protect your gaze from not looking at what is unlawful?

I find this to be a daunting task, especially living in an unislamic environment. Everywhere there is nudity, music, shameless people, how do you stay away from this? it's almost impossible.

You see it's like this, where I work, there are at least two shameless non muslim women. One of them I happen to work quite closely with. She often wears low neck tops, exposing her ornaments, tight jeans absolutely no shame. The other, normally short dresses and low neck tops, quite flirtatious too she is, lucky I don't work with her, just see her around the office. What do you do when you have to work with these women, where do you look?
I can't look at the ceiling, and the ground is'nt always the best option or you might just notice where the razor missed a spot.

That is not all, I pass through a shopping mall to go for salaah, all sorts of haraam taking place there, the other day I hit the lift button "Ping" it opens, VOILA!! Lift full of young white school girls, 14 - 16 yrs old, young and very attractive, short knee height dresses, jumping about without their shoes,(I wonder why), long loose attractive hair.
I was hesitant for a while, should I get in, stay out? then they were looking so friendly and made some space for me, I was getting late, so heck I jumped in. Tried to look down, NO!, NO! that was not going to work, so I look up, Nope!! not that either, there's mirrors all round the lift. I could'nt help thinking what if the lift jammed(To most men that would be a dream come true, but not to me) fortunately that did'nt happen.

So that is the scenario. Haraam everywhere you go, magazines, billboards, everywhere. I would appreciate a few tips from the brothers and sisters if any, about how they cope with these type of awkward situations?

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General

zdc — Wed, 6 Oct 2010 - 07:55

ThE pOwEr Of SiLeNcE I'm a girl. I told you my age...so you should do the same! :P

I don't remember u telling me your age??

ThE pOwEr Of SiLeNcELOL you seem offended, i was talking hypothetically and like if there was an older guy perving on me.

No Offence, just trying to say you should'nt think so hard, if they perve then they do, nothing much you can do about it anyway, not like you will even know.

Sephy (not verified) — Wed, 6 Oct 2010 - 09:29

LillySeraphim's being spilling good WOW's at the moment...i think thats what happened...must be a post-slang phase... the shock of talking slang...it causes him to just blurt out Words Of Wisdom...

Nope, Ive stopped caring and dropped all pretenses of always trying to be polite.
Jst speaking the harsh truth.

Seraphim — Wed, 6 Oct 2010 - 15:16

ThE pOwEr Of SiLeNcE I'm a girl. I told you my age...so you should do the same! :P

OMG! YOUR A GIRL!! I THOUGHT YOU WERE A GUY!!! WTH!!!!
Have you always been a girl? When did you change? Why was i not informed of this!!

TPOS — Wed, 6 Oct 2010 - 15:24

Seraphim

ThE pOwEr Of SiLeNcE I'm a girl. I told you my age...so you should do the same! :P

OMG! YOUR A GIRL!! I THOUGHT YOU WERE A GUY!!! WTH!!!!
Have you always been a girl? When did you change? Why was i not informed of this!!

LMAO
(sshhh, i'm not really! i was just trying to get some info off zdc!)

TPOS — Thu, 14 Oct 2010 - 16:48

I'm not being funny or anything but do you guys stop yourselves from looking at womens arms too?

cuz i think someone above said something about if they look down they can see their legs but even arms aren't supposed to be exposed so do you try your best to avoid them too? that must be hard :S :/

muslimguy (not verified) — Fri, 15 Oct 2010 - 06:15

ThE pOwEr Of SiLeNcEI'm not being funny or anything but do you guys stop yourselves from looking at womens arms too?

cuz i think someone above said something about if they look down they can see their legs but even arms aren't supposed to be exposed so do you try your best to avoid them too? that must be hard :S :/

Ofcourse we try to do that and yes it is very tough to say the least. I hope someday atleast muslim women will be convinced of the dire need for niqaab. Insha allah.

Sephy (not verified) — Fri, 15 Oct 2010 - 11:11

ThE pOwEr Of SiLeNcEI'm not being funny or anything but do you guys stop yourselves from looking at womens arms too?

cuz i think someone above said something about if they look down they can see their legs but even arms aren't supposed to be exposed so do you try your best to avoid them too? that must be hard :S :/

Nope. Dont hav ths problem. Its generally not somthng i thnk abot. I tend to generally ignore people i dnt knw... they dnt exist to me lol. And even the ppl that do exist to me, its not somethng i thnk abot .... :/ if that makes sense.

TPOS — Fri, 15 Oct 2010 - 18:20

lol no they're not. I was just wondering cuz somebody mentioned legs and i just never thought about men having to control their eyes SO much :/

(But neither are mens knees/legs :/ )

Joie de Vivre — Sun, 17 Oct 2010 - 03:26

It is disrespectful not to look at the people you work around and look them in the eye and if you can't you will rightly be disrespected because people have to be able to work with you. If you can't then you need to be working somewhere more Islamic. End of.

You — Sun, 17 Oct 2010 - 04:18

I find it very hard to look anyone in the eye when talking. Just weird... which eye do you look at?

I much prefer having something else around to fidget with (and none of this has anything to do with saving myself from immorality).

I doubt this can be misconstrued as rudeness and its not a way of not acknowledging people (though I can do that too - I am generally not too aware of my surroundings).

Joie de Vivre — Sun, 17 Oct 2010 - 16:30

YouI find it very hard to look anyone in the eye when talking. Just weird... which eye do you look at?

Practise with someone and it will change your life. If you must fake it, look at the nose.

Not everyone does eye contact, but people who cannot look you in the eye are not paying as much attention to the veracity of what is said to them, and by them.

MuslimBro — Sun, 17 Oct 2010 - 17:31

OceanI have no idea why but most men have this idea that all sales women use body-charm and flirting to get most of the guys to sign with them...

My mentor did exactly that. She even once persuaded a guy to buy her a sandwich and a drink. She was very flirtatious, even with her colleagues.