Finding a marriage partner...

There was a story in the news recently about someone who managed to get a job after he wore a billboard type thing for a few hours and stood around advertising that he was available for employment...

whys every1 in a rush to get married anyway? Not like the worlds gonna run out of people.

Its such a pain in the a$$. I can jst abot take care of myslf forget taking care of som1 else.

It'll happen when its supposed to happn.

So why worry.

Letters_to_Cleowhys every1 in a rush to get married anyway?

Because their 'expiry date' is approaching?

Or because they are finding it hard to lower their gaze?

Or they want to follow the Prophetic advice of getting married early?

Or... or.... I can't be bothered to type.

Unnecessarily delaying marriage IMO is a bad thing.

It protects your faith and your actions.

(Unless you manage to find a spouse who is horrible - but that can be dealth with.)

FunzoLol hmm thanks for the advice i might just do this so i should carry on trying to meet people at the bus stop??

someone I know is happily married with a son with a girl he met at the bus stop when he was doing his A levels. Anything is possible.

You

(Unless you manage to find a spouse who is horrible - but that can be dealth with.)

lol. Easier said than done - apparently nothing sends a man to the grave earlier than a difficult wife.

@ muslimsister. that really made me laugh!

common girls! lets not be difficult wives. except if they stop us from coming on revival =P

@letterstocleo: having a marriage partner doesnt mean having to look after someone else. it might mean guetting someone to look after you. So if its hard for one person to look after themselves, then guetting another preson to help might just do that. help.

another question. in a potential partner how many things are you allowing to overlook (that you hope they will change when you become more than potential partners) before the potential partner becomes a stranger amongst strangers?? (from the way this question is phrase you can tell that i definatly know what im talking about eh?)

Lillyanother question. in a potential partner how many things are you allowing to overlook (that you hope they will change when you become more than potential partners) before the potential partner becomes a stranger amongst strangers?? (from the way this question is phrase you can tell that i definatly know what im talking about eh?)

Why would you overlook things?

and why would you want the person to change? Do you want the person that you are married to to be different to the one that you marry?

no i meant deen things. like you hope that when they get more deen knowledge they'll change those things.

like the way they cut their hair.
or their trousers are too long.
or they dont let their beard grow.

euh...thats all i can think of at the moment.

Actions are more than mere actions - they are an opening into the mind and point to a mindset, a way of thinking, a set of beliefs and philosophies even.

if you cannot live with someone how they are, what makes you think you can when they change or that they will change at all?

If something was really, really important to me - his manners, deen, job etc than I would never overlook or compromise on these things.

If something was a minor issue to me - i.e. he had different taste in movie, fashion or TV programs I would overlook those issues.

But I would NEVER marry anyone with the intention of trying to change them after marriage.

oh god. i sound so bad.

ok. so no compromising on deen issues. So.. "hey you! pull up your pants if you want any chance". ok, note taken.

Something from Maniac Muslim's e-courage page:

Online Romeo + Juliet

Ah, the online love life. So much love in the virtual air. Have you ever met anyone that were in a situation like this:

Only to have an online conversation turn into something like this:

Talha: Oh. My. God. That was such an amazing Salam.
Zuleikha: I KNOW! I didn’t think you saw me but you TOTALLY did.
Talha: I know… lol. I would have said something more but my dad was RIGHT THERE. I lowered my gaze but I know you looked cute.
Zuleikha: Awww you’re so cute my little Teetu.
Talha: That’s not the best nickname for me but LOL thanks. I think I’m in love with you.
Zuleikha: I can’t wait for us to meet again. We are soooo soul mates.

Then when the two “lovers” meet each other next, it’s something along the lines of this again?

Yeah. I seen it too. If Mr. Romeo or Ms. Juliet cannot even read their love-fueled chat transcripts in real life, then that should raise some flags. Unless you always imagined communicating with your future spouse solely through Facebook or instant messaging… then go ahead and marry ‘em. Domestic disputes could actually be a lot of fun… especially with everyone writing in CAPS LOCK.

Imagine the feeling of talking to your one true love behind a keyboard without worrying about pesky things like brushing your teeth and leaving the house. Just pray the power doesn’t go out. Then you’ll be forced to actually have a real personality. Scary.

TheRevivalEditorI've always talked about setting up a revival matrimonial service

This has launched, after some delays.

Online marriage stuff for some reason makes me laugh.

If I ever use the services in the future, can someone please repeat this sentence back to me?

s.b.fIf I ever use the services in the future, can someone please repeat this sentence back to me?

it would be an honour =P

@You's post. this is loool!! i actually have a cousin where we've only talked properly online, like real long conversations that carried on until the early hours of the morning. when we meet its like "hey" , "sorry, can i go through?"

Hajjarassalamu alaikum,

1. Tell your parents to put word out you are available for marriage, and tell them what sort of person you want
2. If you go to islamic groups, or know of an active pious person in the community, tell them to give word that you are looking for a like minded spouse
3. If you have brothers and sisters ask them to let their friends know also
4. If you have good friends tell them as they may have other friends and even family/cousins who could match your needs

These are all permissible ways, no excuse for dating.

Think these are the best ways because your not doing anything wrong like dating and you also get a second opinion from whoever is helping you to find a match.

5. Not my favourite method, but for some it;s the only way, register on a islamic website that takes nikah seriously, and actively works to ensure islamic guidelines are met. ie those sites that encourage involvement of a mahram. some sites that promote muslim marriages are no different than non muslim sites, i wouldn't encourage my brother or sister to visit them.

6. keep an eye out for local marriage events which are organized by muslims. Where you turn up with your mahram and get to meet ppl that match your needs. I prefer this method to the internet based one.

Dont like the idea of matrimonial sites, would be kind of odd to look back and see that you found your partner on the internet, real life relations are a much better way.

SuhailDont like the idea of matrimonial sites, would be kind of odd to look back and see that you found your partner on the internet, real life relations are a much better way.

Except that with the first 4 even, its not using real life contact but word of mouth.

You

SuhailDont like the idea of matrimonial sites, would be kind of odd to look back and see that you found your partner on the internet, real life relations are a much better way.

Except that with the first 4 even, its not using real life contact but word of mouth.

still better than marriage sites and i'd put alot more trust in the first 4 than the other 2....and it can be real because you may somehow know that person or their family.

MuslimBro

LillyIm not looking forward to paying a matrimonial site...

Some matrimonial sites such as singlemuslim don't require females to pay, only males.

LOL, do u think some guys would tick the female box so they can get out of paying, but then as soon as theyre on the site and meet someone they like they go: by the way...im a dude 😃
ahhh...lmao

YouWhy are you so scared? they won't bite you... unless you ask nicely.

LOOOOL hahah...lmao and all tht 😉

Lillyabout the ethnicity thing. alhamdoulillah, only ONE of my cousin got married to someone from the same ethnicity. we all seem to go for different ethnicities. no problem with parents hamdoulillah.

about this...my mum wants a different ethnicity for her in-laws...-.-

Noor. that includes you.

and i dont think marriage ruins your life, im hoping to marry while studying, im htinking its gona be more fun. inshallah

oh masha allah, i think thts great!
i personally dnt have a problem with interracial marriages, but i wouldnt be surprised if my parents did (unfortunately) but i dont see why they would since it would go against islam....BUT i think there would be a lot more things to consider and language would be a BIG one....

YouI assume its all about ticking boxes, in order for someone to fit the requirements such as "must be a professional earning a minimum of £bucketloads, have a house and be 6 foot tall plus with a nice car..."

Or I may be totally wrong.

Weird concept, but I guess if you need a CV for a job, a marriage may be something a little more important.

So @ MuslimBro... spill. what did their CV's have on them?

and why are you so afriad of marriage?

marriage IS terrifying (chills....)

CV's???? i thought tht was a joke as well! its bad enough writing one for a job, but marriage, oh my god !!!! :shock:

Lillyoh god. i sound so bad.

ok. so no compromising on deen issues. So.. "hey you! pull up your pants if you want any chance". ok, note taken.

LOL!! 😂

YouSomething from Maniac Muslim's e-courage page:

Online Romeo + Juliet

Ah, the online love life. So much love in the virtual air. Have you ever met anyone that were in a situation like this:

Only to have an online conversation turn into something like this:

Talha: Oh. My. God. That was such an amazing Salam.
Zuleikha: I KNOW! I didn’t think you saw me but you TOTALLY did.
Talha: I know… lol. I would have said something more but my dad was RIGHT THERE. I lowered my gaze but I know you looked cute.
Zuleikha: Awww you’re so cute my little Teetu.
Talha: That’s not the best nickname for me but LOL thanks. I think I’m in love with you.
Zuleikha: I can’t wait for us to meet again. We are soooo soul mates.

Then when the two “lovers” meet each other next, it’s something along the lines of this again?

Yeah. I seen it too. If Mr. Romeo or Ms. Juliet cannot even read their love-fueled chat transcripts in real life, then that should raise some flags. Unless you always imagined communicating with your future spouse solely through Facebook or instant messaging… then go ahead and marry ‘em. Domestic disputes could actually be a lot of fun… especially with everyone writing in CAPS LOCK.

Imagine the feeling of talking to your one true love behind a keyboard without worrying about pesky things like brushing your teeth and leaving the house. Just pray the power doesn’t go out. Then you’ll be forced to actually have a real personality. Scary.

HAHAHAH!!!! 😂

having read all the comments i dont think anyone on here should worry about finding a marriage partner lol, u guys'll do fine!!

bilan
having read all the comments i dont think anyone on here should worry about finding a marriage partner lol, u guys'll do fine!!

I can't even remember what was said. Who was worried? And you've deduced that from all the comments?! lol how?

I dunno, it'l happen when it happens. Not any time soon though! And not too late either! o.O

bilan
having read all the comments i dont think anyone on here should worry about finding a marriage partner lol, u guys'll do fine!!

now that we have Bilan's blessing, we can FINALLY get married... 😛 i joke!

ive no idea how i am in commitments. so im gona stay out of marriage water for now.

any examples of "commitments"? i can't think of any at the moment...

LOL of course Lills! 😉

all the comments just made me 😃 😃 and if being funny doesnt get u married asaps, wht will???????! :s

i dnt think commitment is putting me off marriage, i have no worries about tht...tht said im nt thinking of getting married anytime soon but u never knw. If ur a Friends fan.....listen up lol!
remember when chandler and monica move in together and when she and rachel say their goodbyes, monica starts crying and says: "now i have to live with a boy!!!"
my sentiments exactly!!! 🙁