NazJust out of curiosity how many women on this forum would be ok with their husbands having more then one wife?
i keep going through phases, Allaahu alam. it would depend on the husband, before i wouldn't even consider it as an option but if Allah swt has made this lawful for him then i don't see why i should stop him. so thats a yes, i think...
Why would a guy want to marry two women? If he's having problems in his first marriage then it's cowardly and unmanly to try and escape that way. Come on, you shouldn't get married for sex that's the wrong reason to get married.
Even as a guy, I would just stick to the one.
CourageCome on, you shouldn't get married for sex that's the wrong reason to get married.
erm... I would have to disagree with that. I would call it the (major?) "right" reason.
No wonder why there's so much cheating. No wonder why there're so many break ups. Why did the Prophet Muhamad (pbuh) marry more than one wife? For sex or to look after them, care for them and respect them? Do you seriously want to tell me that he thought/said to his wife: "I need you plus another woman to satisfy me in bed."
One thing that makes us humans different from animals is that we can try and control our desires.
Getting married gives you the licence to have sex, however sex should not be the major/main reason for marriage. It aint gonna last if it is. There is so much more to a marriage.
Just coz a man marries more then once doesnt mean to say that he is having problems with his first wife.
I think it is a little Pakistani mentality kicking in.
"I know this person in Pakistan who is really poor. That family deserves better. If I marry my kid off to their kid, they will have a better way of life."
YouI think it is a little Pakistani mentality kicking in.
"I know this person in Pakistan who is really poor. That family deserves better. If I marry my kid off to their kid, they will have a better way of life."
Naz can speak for herself but I definately didn't say that. The main reason has to be social compatibility right? You don't say "I'm marrying her because I need to fulfill my sexual desires." That's not the MAIN reason, maybe number 5, but definately not number one!
Ya'qubTo Naz and Courage, why do you think we are recommended to marry young?
It can't be to look after people.
Marriage is supposed to be pleasurable, as well as a responsibility.
Yes i agree with what your saying but a marriage requires more then just sex for it to work. Sex is just a physical connection. You also need a deeper connection which can only be achieved through understanding one another, respecting one another, accepting one anothers faults (yes thats right no one is perfect) etc.
Physical connection + deeper connection = sucessful marriage
Physical connection = failed marriage
If on the other hand one is only seeking a physical connection then it would be cheaper for one to go to a brothel instead of tying the knot!!!
YouI think it is a little Pakistani mentality kicking in.
"I know this person in Pakistan who is really poor. That family deserves better. If I marry my kid off to their kid, they will have a better way of life."
I am very much against parents who sacrifice their kids like little lambs in the name of pride, honour, culture and whatever these ppl believe in.
55 comments
Funzo Sun, 13 Apr 2008 - 22:52
Re: Having a personal opinion
I wouldnt marry more than once.
Noor Sun, 13 Apr 2008 - 23:08
Re: Having a personal opinion
i keep going through phases, Allaahu alam. it would depend on the husband, before i wouldn't even consider it as an option but if Allah swt has made this lawful for him then i don't see why i should stop him. so thats a yes, i think...
Courage Mon, 14 Apr 2008 - 16:26
Re: Having a personal opinion
Why would a guy want to marry two women? If he's having problems in his first marriage then it's cowardly and unmanly to try and escape that way. Come on, you shouldn't get married for sex that's the wrong reason to get married.
Even as a guy, I would just stick to the one.
You Mon, 14 Apr 2008 - 16:37
Re: Having a personal opinion
erm... I would have to disagree with that. I would call it the (major?) "right" reason.
Noor Mon, 14 Apr 2008 - 17:09
Re: Having a personal opinion
because it is a sunnah.
Ya'qub Mon, 14 Apr 2008 - 17:41
Re: Having a personal opinion
Its sunnah to marry 11 or 13 women actually.
Noor Mon, 14 Apr 2008 - 19:11
Re: Having a personal opinion
omg really? wow.. :roll:
Funzo Mon, 14 Apr 2008 - 23:22
Re: Having a personal opinion
I would say its sunnah to marry more than one woman but the limit is four, for obvious reasons.
Courage Tue, 15 Apr 2008 - 11:34
Re: Having a personal opinion
No wonder why there's so much cheating. No wonder why there're so many break ups. Why did the Prophet Muhamad (pbuh) marry more than one wife? For sex or to look after them, care for them and respect them? Do you seriously want to tell me that he thought/said to his wife: "I need you plus another woman to satisfy me in bed."
One thing that makes us humans different from animals is that we can try and control our desires.
Naz Tue, 15 Apr 2008 - 13:13
Re: Having a personal opinion
Getting married gives you the licence to have sex, however sex should not be the major/main reason for marriage. It aint gonna last if it is. There is so much more to a marriage.
Just coz a man marries more then once doesnt mean to say that he is having problems with his first wife.
Ya'qub Tue, 15 Apr 2008 - 13:50
Re: Having a personal opinion
To Naz and Courage, why do you think we are recommended to marry young?
It can't be to look after people.
Marriage is supposed to be pleasurable, as well as a responsibility.
You Tue, 15 Apr 2008 - 13:54
Re: Having a personal opinion
I think it is a little Pakistani mentality kicking in.
"I know this person in Pakistan who is really poor. That family deserves better. If I marry my kid off to their kid, they will have a better way of life."
Courage Wed, 16 Apr 2008 - 17:13
Re: Having a personal opinion
EXACTLY! It's both but some people don't think lke that.
Courage Wed, 16 Apr 2008 - 18:31
Re: Having a personal opinion
Naz can speak for herself but I definately didn't say that. The main reason has to be social compatibility right? You don't say "I'm marrying her because I need to fulfill my sexual desires." That's not the MAIN reason, maybe number 5, but definately not number one!
Naz Wed, 16 Apr 2008 - 21:27
Re: Having a personal opinion
Yes i agree with what your saying but a marriage requires more then just sex for it to work. Sex is just a physical connection. You also need a deeper connection which can only be achieved through understanding one another, respecting one another, accepting one anothers faults (yes thats right no one is perfect) etc.
Physical connection + deeper connection = sucessful marriage
Physical connection = failed marriage
If on the other hand one is only seeking a physical connection then it would be cheaper for one to go to a brothel instead of tying the knot!!!
Naz Wed, 16 Apr 2008 - 21:42
Re: Having a personal opinion
I am very much against parents who sacrifice their kids like little lambs in the name of pride, honour, culture and whatever these ppl believe in.
MuslimBro Thu, 17 Apr 2008 - 03:33
Re: Having a personal opinion
However, Zina is a MAJOR sin so Allah (swt) has made marriage a way of fulfilling your (physical) desires.
And ditto to what Courage said.
Naz Thu, 17 Apr 2008 - 10:53
Re: Having a personal opinion
Very true but it doesnt stop ppl though does it.
MuslimBro Thu, 17 Apr 2008 - 17:05
Re: Having a personal opinion
Sometimes it's the parents that stop their child getting married young.
The Parent Negotiations
Ya'qub Thu, 17 Apr 2008 - 17:22
Re: Having a personal opinion
Don't I know it
:x
Noor Fri, 18 Apr 2008 - 00:12
Re: Having a personal opinion
you wana get hicthed ey? 😉
a lot of people don't have the guts to say to their parents that they wana get married.
MuslimBro Fri, 18 Apr 2008 - 01:17
Re: Having a personal opinion
Aww, I'm sure your parents will come around.
At first they might not listen but if you're persistent they will one day accept it. And no, I'm not talking from experience.
MuslimBro Fri, 18 Apr 2008 - 01:20
Re: Having a personal opinion
True.
It's just one of those 'things'....
Ya'qub Fri, 18 Apr 2008 - 09:54
Re: Having a personal opinion
lol, I didn't mean my parents. They don't care what I do, as long as I'm happy and not hurting anybody.
I'm talking about the other side...
Courage Fri, 18 Apr 2008 - 10:40
Re: Having a personal opinion
Well they said after she finishes studying, didn't they? Some parents want them to turn 30 something first! Consider yourself lucky!
Pagination
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