The Revival

Your Voice Matters!

Hahaha

_Me_ —

Saalam everyone 😃

I decided to post some jokes to make yous laugh, (or at least smile!) 😃

Feel free to add any of your own!

W/Saalam 😃 x

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81 comments

#1

_Me_ Sun, 30 Oct 2011 - 22:00

One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink.
She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast to her brunette head. She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?"
Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white." The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, "Momma, how come all of grandma's hair are white?"

#2

_Me_ Sun, 30 Oct 2011 - 22:01

Two robbers were robbing a hotel. The first one said, "I hear sirens. Jump!" The second one said, "But we're on the 13th floor!" The first one screamed back, "This is no time to be superstitious."

#3

_Me_ Sun, 30 Oct 2011 - 22:07

A father sends a small boy to bed. Five minutes later...
"Da-ad..."
"What?"
"I'm thirsty. Can you bring drink of water?"
"No. You had your chance. Lights out."
Five minutes later...
"Da-aaaad..."
"WHAT?"
"I'm THIRSTY. Can I have a drink of water?"
"I told you, NO! If you ask again, I'll have to spank you!"
Five minutes later...
"Daaaa-aaaad..."
"WHAT!?"
"When you come in to spank me, can you bring a drink of water?"

#5

_Me_ Mon, 31 Oct 2011 - 15:36

A man is watching TV and his wife comes down.....

Wife; "I just fell down the stairs, did you not hear me?"

Man; "Sorry I thought it was the start of Eastenders"

😂

#6

Bilan Tue, 1 Nov 2011 - 00:55

so lame..and no i have nt had a look yet :p

#7

Foysol89 Tue, 1 Nov 2011 - 05:02

Don't worry they are lame but i didn't wanna say anything...........

#8

_Me_ Tue, 1 Nov 2011 - 15:31

Foysol89Don't worry they are lame but i didn't wanna say anything...........

😢

#9

Foysol89 Tue, 1 Nov 2011 - 16:20

_Me_

Foysol89Don't worry they are lame but i didn't wanna say anything...........

:cry:

The white hair joke was ok 🙂 (made me smile)

Don't worry lame jokes can be cool too, some are so lame you can't help but laugh.

I've got one

What's Bruce Lee's favourite drink?......

Whataaaaaaaaaa 😂

Another one

What do you call a Sikh man standing on one leg?......

BalanceSINGH 😂

Ok this joke makes no sense but still .....i like it.

There were 3 men running away from police (don't ask why) an englishman, a Welshman and an Irishman. They run round a corner and see some empty sacks so they decide to hide in them. The policeman comes round the corner to see them missing but notices the three sacks. So he taps the first sack and he hears a *meeeeaaow* so he leaves it. He hits the second sack and hears * dog barking* so he leaves it. He come to the third sack and taps it and he hears *(in an irish accent) POTAAAATEERRRS* 😂

Ahh i'll stop now

#10

s.b.f Tue, 1 Nov 2011 - 16:25

No offence Foysol, but your jokes are the lamest ones I've read in a very long time...

#11

Foysol89 Tue, 1 Nov 2011 - 16:29

s.b.fNo offence Foysol, but your jokes are the lamest ones I've read in a very long time...

That's what i was going for......

All my other jokes are either racist or sizeist or sexist or otherwise offensive to some....don't ask why

#12

TPOS Tue, 1 Nov 2011 - 16:50

s.b.fNo offence Foysol, but your jokes are the lamest ones I've read in a very long time...

I think he was going for the 'so lame you have to laugh' thing lol

I like the whataaa one lol

#14

Bilan Tue, 1 Nov 2011 - 19:16

Foysol89

s.b.fNo offence Foysol, but your jokes are the lamest ones I've read in a very long time...

That's what i was going for......

All my other jokes are either racist or sizeist or sexist or otherwise offensive to some....don't ask why

same. the irish one did make sense. they like their taters dont they?
i liked the eastenders one. made me sing the theme tune. all of youse now #doof, doof, doof, doof,dun dun dun dun, dun-dun..dun...dun dun dun dun..dadun dun dun dun duuuuu# thanek u thanek u and a kanicheewa 8)

#15

LookingToSee Tue, 1 Nov 2011 - 20:21

you think you know the irish dude, only thing you know is the potato thing and thats still a bit iffy.

i liked your jokes "me" especially the kid one. they didnt make me laugh out loud, but they did make me smile!

Foysol... such guy jokes.

can we have a riddle thread?

#16

_Me_ Tue, 1 Nov 2011 - 21:49

Saalam 😃

Good to hear lol, at least they made you smile 🙂

#17

LookingToSee Tue, 1 Nov 2011 - 22:01

Three men were competing to see who was the most cruel. The first one attacked a man beating him till he was bleeding and couldn’t stand. The second man saw him in this state and stamped on his hands and face over and over. He turned to the others and said, “No one can be worse than me”. The third one said, “No, I am the worst one because I just stood by and watched. This man is my brother”.

The victim is Babar Ahmad. The first man is the police. The second is the Judicial System. The third are the Brits who did nothing when they knew about the injustice..

#18

_Me_ Tue, 1 Nov 2011 - 22:05

Lilly

Three men were competing to see who was the most cruel. The first one attacked a man beating him till he was bleeding and couldn’t stand. The second man saw him in this state and stamped on his hands and face over and over. He turned to the others and said, “No one can be worse than me”. The third one said, “No, I am the worst one because I just stood by and watched. This man is my brother”.

The victim is Babar Ahmad. The first man is the police. The second is the Judicial System. The third are the Brits who did nothing when they knew about the injustice..

I got a text about this as well

#19

TPOS Tue, 1 Nov 2011 - 22:05

That's no joke!

Although when I started reading it, I thought it was going to be one

#20

Foysol89 Tue, 1 Nov 2011 - 22:21

Yeah seriously the wrong topic for that Lilly but thanks for sharing. Read so many different versions.

#24

Ya'qub Wed, 2 Nov 2011 - 12:04

In what way are those 2 jokes appropriate for an Islamic forum?

#26

Bugz Wed, 2 Nov 2011 - 13:48

Ya'qubIn what way are those 2 jokes appropriate for an Islamic forum?

Oi, freedom of expression???

#27

Bugz Wed, 2 Nov 2011 - 13:56

Foysol89They need to be deleted. Plus they were terrible

serious?? lets see you do better wise guy!!

#28

Bilan Wed, 2 Nov 2011 - 14:07

Bugz

Ya'qubIn what way are those 2 jokes appropriate for an Islamic forum?

Oi, freedom of expression???

There is no such thing

#29

Bugz Wed, 2 Nov 2011 - 14:19

bilan

Bugz
Ya'qubIn what way are those 2 jokes appropriate for an Islamic forum?

Oi, freedom of expression???

There is no such thing

you wish

#30

Ya'qub Wed, 2 Nov 2011 - 15:57

Bugz

Ya'qubIn what way are those 2 jokes appropriate for an Islamic forum?

Oi, freedom of expression???

There's plenty of Places on te Internet for smut.
This isn't one of them?
Freedom of expression is not the same as telling (pretty rubbish) jokes bout sex on a forum that is dedicated to Islam & therefore (atleast tries) to have some standards.

Plus, kids come on here. Would u shout those jokes in a park with children around?

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