Well for teh last part, if you're willing to change then inshallah you wont rub off on them. Plus, if you're trying to change, then you know what you gotta change. And good people arent dumb, they know whats good and what's bad, so they wont let the "bad" in you rub off on them (hopefully)

i do thing that surrounding yourself with "good" people will make you change. it just depends what you're definition of "good" is.

thats how i see it. you use to hang around with "bad" people. What they do, you do, coz, you're part of the group or w/e. then you stop hanging around with them coz you know its bad for you, but humans are social things so they dont wanna stay by themselves. So you go look for people you want to me like, hence hanging around with "good" people. It might not be the people who change you, but yourself and your will to change.

did i just agree and disagree with myself several times?

Lilly wrote:

did i just agree and disagree with myself several times?

Nah, you just highlighted that personal change is a deep phenomenon.

Good company works, but it depends upon how deeply rooted that goodness is. So if you have someone who is only good because he was brought up in fear of doing bad things and then someone else - say, an Ali G wannabe - starts hanging around with him, then yeah, it can work the other way and the good guy can become affected. But if he's more deeply rooted, he's a good guy because he finds it to be profound and more in line with his own convictions then he won't be affected InshaAllah.

Good company does work because of the peer group phenomenon, where your peers rub off on you, but it also works on a deeper level if you become impressed with the person and think, "woah, that guy's deep!"

what you have in mind could be true. I have experienced this myself. it was last year when i was in a crowd of 4 professionals..they were working in a very prolific companies. we had dinner and conversed. I can tell that i have learned sensible things from them.i just thought after that meeting,they were all pragmatic and educational. To me, it doesn't matter whether if you are in a bad or good company..the bottom line is that, you are enjoying the company.. where you get to talk,be yourself and laugh about life and even little things. that's what matters!

Ofcourse it does, take me for eg, I have been hanging around too much with women, now I have turned into this ugly green creature.

Ohhhh now we know the underlying reason!! so...what makes u go back to your normal self? Sweets? Icecream? A jog? Quality time to yourself?

Lilly wrote:

Ohhhh now we know the underlying reason!! so...what makes u go back to your normal self? Sweets? Icecream? A jog? Quality time to yourself?

Haha you so funny, funny people like you, make me go back to my normal self. You should really remain on the forum maybe I won't be soo green any more. What you think??

Oh I forget to mention, tickling my feet and toes helps too, wiggle, wiggle, wanna help?

Watch this space carefuly....................... *Runs for my life*
have fun!!!!

Lilly wrote:

Watch this space carefuly....................... *Runs for my life*
have fun!!!!

How rude, where do you think you're running off too. You sound so concerned, please help a brother out here!!

You can run but you can't hide.

zdc wrote:

Lilly wrote:

Watch this space carefuly....................... *Runs for my life*
have fun!!!!

How rude, where do you think you're running off too. You sound so concerned, please help a brother out here!!

You can run but you can't hide.

dont need to hide. I can fight. I'll kick you where it hurts. Sexist...
Me concerned? about you? got my priorities sorted, first come first served. Hence im gona be just this tad more faithful to them old people on revival. you're gona have to earn my respect!
a brother? what, that green thing? euh... (check my skin colour) i dont see how...
i think seeing this "picture" of me gave you the right wrong idea about me old boy...

Lilly wrote:

zdc wrote:

Lilly wrote:

Watch this space carefuly....................... *Runs for my life*
have fun!!!!

How rude, where do you think you're running off too. You sound so concerned, please help a brother out here!!

You can run but you can't hide.

dont need to hide. I can fight. I'll kick you where it hurts. Sexist...
Me concerned? about you? got my priorities sorted, first come first served. Hence im gona be just this tad more faithful to them old people on revival. you're gona have to earn my respect!
a brother? what, that green thing? euh... (check my skin colour) i dont see how...
i think seeing this "picture" of me gave you the right wrong idea about me old boy...

Ooooh!!! you wanna play rough? I like em rough, it's more fun.

Your picture, hmmm, you look like someone I know, is your name Humairah?

zdc, i was wondering, do you expect women to respect you?

Loooool feef!!! Ewwww zdc, stop it! i dont know such a perverted dude, and i dont wana know, so i think i will stop talking to you if you stay soo perverted.. And no...my name isnt humaira, its Lilly.

ThE pOwEr Of SiLeNcE wrote:

zdc, i was wondering, do you expect women to respect you?

No, they never respect men, why would they respect someone they expect to bend over and kiss their behind??

Lilly wrote:

Loooool feef!!! Ewwww zdc, stop it! i dont know such a perverted dude, and i dont wana know, so i think i will stop talking to you if you stay soo perverted.. And no...my name isnt humaira, its Lilly.

You may think you don't know such perverted guys, it shows just how little you know about men. Most men except the decent one's like me, are quite perverted, they may not say it, but they are. The shy boy in your class, who never spoke to any gals, he is a pervert, ask me, I know.

But it is just in the mind, they don't say it out or act it for that matter, well the most of them. They almost never speak about it, especially to women, the reason is quite obvious. So the next time you are speaking to a guy you think is really decent, think again.

zdc wrote:

ThE pOwEr Of SiLeNcE wrote:

zdc, i was wondering, do you expect women to respect you?

No, they never respect men, why would they respect someone they expect to bend over and kiss their behind??

That is clearly not true. I respect alot of men; i'm sure other women do too.

zdc wrote:

Lilly wrote:

Loooool feef!!! Ewwww zdc, stop it! i dont know such a perverted dude, and i dont wana know, so i think i will stop talking to you if you stay soo perverted.. And no...my name isnt humaira, its Lilly.

You may think you don't know such perverted guys, it shows just how little you know about men. Most men except the decent one's like me, are quite perverted, they may not say it, but they are. The shy boy in your class, who never spoke to any gals, he is a pervert, ask me, I know.

But it is just in the mind, they don't say it out or act it for that matter, well the most of them. They almost never speak about it, especially to women, the reason is quite obvious. So the next time you are speaking to a guy you think is really decent, think again.

Or the quite ones lower their gaze and are modest. They don't all have to be perverted.
...
Respect the honesty, but kind of odd you are admitting to being perverted...? Odd.

Isha Al-Maghribi wrote:

zdc wrote:

Lilly wrote:

Loooool feef!!! Ewwww zdc, stop it! i dont know such a perverted dude, and i dont wana know, so i think i will stop talking to you if you stay soo perverted.. And no...my name isnt humaira, its Lilly.

You may think you don't know such perverted guys, it shows just how little you know about men. Most men except the decent one's like me, are quite perverted, they may not say it, but they are. The shy boy in your class, who never spoke to any gals, he is a pervert, ask me, I know.

But it is just in the mind, they don't say it out or act it for that matter, well the most of them. They almost never speak about it, especially to women, the reason is quite obvious. So the next time you are speaking to a guy you think is really decent, think again.

Or the quite ones lower their gaze and are modest. They don't all have to be perverted.
...
Respect the honesty, but kind of odd you are admitting to being perverted...? Odd.

Not really perverted, just a wee bit, not so straight. But many guys are perverts, believe me. They have all sorts of fantasy's and stuff, but they know it's not possible.

zdc wrote:

Lilly wrote:

Loooool feef!!! Ewwww zdc, stop it! i dont know such a perverted dude, and i dont wana know, so i think i will stop talking to you if you stay soo perverted.. And no...my name isnt humaira, its Lilly.

You may think you don't know such perverted guys, it shows just how little you know about men. Most men except the decent one's like me, are quite perverted, they may not say it, but they are. The shy boy in your class, who never spoke to any gals, he is a pervert, ask me, I know.

But it is just in the mind, they don't say it out or act it for that matter, well the most of them. They almost never speak about it, especially to women, the reason is quite obvious. So the next time you are speaking to a guy you think is really decent, think again.

the only guys i knw r cousins n the dudes on here. Im innocent!

Lilly wrote:

zdc wrote:

Lilly wrote:

Loooool feef!!! Ewwww zdc, stop it! i dont know such a perverted dude, and i dont wana know, so i think i will stop talking to you if you stay soo perverted.. And no...my name isnt humaira, its Lilly.

You may think you don't know such perverted guys, it shows just how little you know about men. Most men except the decent one's like me, are quite perverted, they may not say it, but they are. The shy boy in your class, who never spoke to any gals, he is a pervert, ask me, I know.

But it is just in the mind, they don't say it out or act it for that matter, well the most of them. They almost never speak about it, especially to women, the reason is quite obvious. So the next time you are speaking to a guy you think is really decent, think again.

the only guys i knw r cousins n the dudes on here. Im innocent!

Nice, you will make a good wife someday.....Did I just say that.

anyway... getting back to the topic of good company.

I think whether you want to change or not, your alot more likely to adopt the mannerisms of the people whose approval you want. Be they friends or scholars etc.

You might talk gangsta with your mates coz thats what they do innit. And you might wear a topee (hat) and talk differently when your with a molvi or scholars etc.

Its basically trying to find common ground between you and whoever you're with. Maybe as a way to make you more comfortable with them or an attempt to make them more comfortable with you.

Seraphim wrote:

anyway... getting back to the topic of good company.

I think whether you want to change or not, your alot more likely to adopt the mannerisms of the people whose approval you want. Be they friends or scholars etc.

You might talk gangsta with your mates coz thats what they do innit. And you might wear a topee (hat) and talk differently when your with a molvi or scholars etc.

Its basically trying to find common ground between you and whoever you're with. Maybe as a way to make you more comfortable with them or an attempt to make them more comfortable with you.

True.

ThE pOwEr Of SiLeNcE wrote:

Seraphim wrote:

anyway... getting back to the topic of good company.

I think whether you want to change or not, your alot more likely to adopt the mannerisms of the people whose approval you want. Be they friends or scholars etc.

You might talk gangsta with your mates coz thats what they do innit. And you might wear a topee (hat) and talk differently when your with a molvi or scholars etc.

Its basically trying to find common ground between you and whoever you're with. Maybe as a way to make you more comfortable with them or an attempt to make them more comfortable with you.

True.

And i guess if you really wanted their approval you'd keep doing it. You'd adopt their mannerisms as your own. Not quickly or dramatically but probably slowly.

starting off with something small like not doing something that annoys them. I'm mentioning this cuz i had to actually stop myself doing not doing something my friend asked me to do. It was no big deal but i noticed how i may have been/or start to do things cuz im told to but theres no reason for it apart from pleasing her. So if i stop doing the little things i won't be doing anything that ACTUALLY means something and go against my will and/or principles.

ThE pOwEr Of SiLeNcE wrote:

starting off with something small like not doing something that annoys them. I'm mentioning this cuz i had to actually stop myself doing not doing something my friend asked me to do. It was no big deal but i noticed how i may have been/or start to do things cuz im told to but theres no reason for it apart from pleasing her. So if i stop doing the little things i won't be doing anything that ACTUALLY means something and go against my will and/or principles.

Your sentences worry me :/

what was it she asked you to stop doing? Slurping your tea? lol

LOL no i had a headache and didn't need my glasses so took them off. And she was telling me to put them on in her joke-commanding voice!

ThE pOwEr Of SiLeNcE wrote:

LOL no i had a headache and didn't need my glasses so took them off. And she was telling me to put them on in her joke-commanding voice!

So she was annoyed that you werent wearing your glasses???
How is that annoying her?

I dunno! :/

me: why
her: JUST put them on
me:no.

repeats.

gets bored.

Your friends a bit weird, isnt she.

lol

Even if its insignificant, the fact that it bothers you shows there's something happening... Just stick to your values! People will respect you for it.