"I was an only child so I wanted to have a big family"

'Legendary' Gaza man and his ever-growing family

Driving along a dusty, potholed track in southern Gaza on the way to meet one of the territory's most prolific lovers, we were lost. We stopped to ask directions.

"Do you know Abu Talal's house?" I shouted out of the car window to a young boy by the side of the road.

"Yes, he's my grandfather," the child beamed.

Quite a coincidence you might think - until you hear that 82-year-old Abu Talal al-Najar says he has more than 430 grandchildren.

Read more @

Great.

I wonder if he remembers all their birthdays.

I wonder if everyday is one of their birthdays!

Does he give them all gifts at Eid and such events?

Does he know all their names?

Weird Man.

 

Don't you mean "legend"?

"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.

Why is he a legend?

Did all his kids have a good upbringing? Was he able to help out when needed?

 

Those are grandkids.

and I would like to assume that his kids did have a relatively good upbringing.

Things like remembering their birthdays is unimportant outside the west anyway, so such things are not needed, but who knows, he might have when younger (he is in his 80's now, so memory may be failing him).

"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.

The amount of reward that will keep clocking up for this blessed man even after he passes away is going to be enormous - everything he taught his children, which they act on, as do their descendants... he'll have a share! Wow! No wonder the Prophet(saw) recommended have many children and I will be proud of you on the day of Judgement!

In the same way - every bad thing that he intentionally/unintentionally taught his children/grandchildren will be on his head too.

One of my biggest fears about having children, is that I won't be able to guide them properly...the last thing I want is to have children that don't pray/cover/fast/give charity etc etc cos it'll be a failing on my part...

I know that I'm responsible for my children's islamic upbringing...and if I had over 10kids, I know that I may end up neglecting some of them...and I wouldnt want that on my head on the day of judgement.

I doubt you can blame the parents 100% - look at prophet Nuh (as), AFAIK one of his children also perished in the flood. (wait, does that make the fear even worse?)

I can understand the fear of not bringing up angels, but humans are not angels and they WILL have failings. trying to knock them into line too hard can also have consequences IMO.

(Better to be afraid than to be complacent I suppose.)

"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.

MuslimSister wrote:
In the same way - every bad thing that he intentionally/unintentionally taught his children/grandchildren will be on his head too.

One of my biggest fears about having children, is that I won't be able to guide them properly...the last thing I want is to have children that don't pray/cover/fast/give charity etc etc cos it'll be a failing on my part...

I know that I'm responsible for my children's islamic upbringing...and if I had over 10kids, I know that I may end up neglecting some of them...and I wouldnt want that on my head on the day of judgement.

Unintentional teaching is irrelevant as one will not be accounted for that!

One obviously should not teach wrong stuff, to one´s children or others!

I am amazed someone thinks they cannot teach their kids Islam!

Salat is probably the most complex of duties, and it can be taught to someone at a slow pace within a week. Other duties like fasting simply require one not to eat or drink in a given month, a process that would be of the order of minutes to get the basics taught, an hour or two max if the kids ae slow. Most duties are picked up gradually through life eg marriage duties around the time one has gone past puberty, and it is interesting how across the world parents of large families easily teach their kids about Islam, including those who are knowledgable and those who are not!

Its ok, anon1 teaches kids Islam.

God help them.

"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.

I know a number of families who have kids who are not on the right path - mother works full time, spends her evenings and weekends cooking, cleaning and shopping etc - works long hours out of neccessity and not choice and as a result she does not have enough time to teach her kids in details the right way to live.

Islam doesnt stop at salah and fasts etc - its a complete way of life.

I rather have a smaller family, but be able to do justice by them all.

Anonymous1 wrote:
Other duties like fasting simply require one not to eat or drink in a given month, a process that would be of the order of minutes to get the basics taught, an hour or two max if the kids ae slow.

if that how you define fasting?

dont the kids ask you "whats the point??"

Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary?

Lilly wrote:
Anonymous1 wrote:
Other duties like fasting simply require one not to eat or drink in a given month, a process that would be of the order of minutes to get the basics taught, an hour or two max if the kids ae slow.

if that how you define fasting?

dont the kids ask you "whats the point??"

It took longer than a few minutes for me to understand the significance, rewards and purpose behind fasting.

In fact, every year I STILL read and research and listen to lectures about fasting. it may be cos I'm slow or it maybe cos my understanding of fasting doesnt stop at 'not eating and drinking for a month'

Even after that there is the issue of conditioning - it is not simply enough to tell a child something once and then let them go their way.

Teaching someone the faraid of Salaah is one thing, teaching them to actually pray five times a day and creating such as environment is another.

Even then, it would be normal to have fears over how the process will turn out - you don't want your kids to be as screwed up as everyone elses.

"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.

MuslimSister wrote:
I know a number of families who have kids who are not on the right path - mother works full time, spends her evenings and weekends cooking, cleaning and shopping etc - works long hours out of neccessity and not choice and as a result she does not have enough time to teach her kids in details the right way to live.

Islam doesnt stop at salah and fasts etc - its a complete way of life.

I rather have a smaller family, but be able to do justice by them all.

I've seen many of these so called families who have "no time" to teach kids Islam.

It's generally fabrications! They have plenty of time to site and regularly watch 3 hr bollywood movies or spend a month wathcing football or trek around the country enjoying themselves when they are not working or doing housework... but when it comes to spending a few minutes teaching their kids or showing them Islam by example they don't have time!

It's really not believable! If one wishes to do it, they give it importance and fit it into life - if it's not important for one to do it, a thousand excuses will come out why they have never done it...

The problem with this nonsense argument, aside from thinking it knows better than the Prophet and his recommendations, is that they apply logic incorrectly to the issue. As the number of children increase, the effort does not proportionately increase - one creates materials for example for one child, which may take a long time; however they get reused for other children. With a few kids one has to do all the effort; with lots of kids the elder children begin to help out as they are at an age where they can assist and learn in the process.

Finally Islam being a complete way of life is misunderstood. Evey Muslim must know their obligations and refrain from prohibitions by puberty. This is the first milestone that minimally must be achieved. The obligations and prohibitions are so few that in a number of narrations the Prophet(saw) taught them to nomads who approached him and were with him for a short duration pretty quickly.

The rest of the deen is gradually built over time, most of it being picked up indirectly from living it with the family and thus does not formally have to be taught. If a family does not live according to it that is their problem - they should sort that out and not try justifying western style small nuclear style families when the prophet(saw) recommended large families with many children...

Again this issue appears clouded by western dominant ideology and culture...

Lilly wrote:
Anonymous1 wrote:
Other duties like fasting simply require one not to eat or drink in a given month, a process that would be of the order of minutes to get the basics taught, an hour or two max if the kids ae slow.

if that how you define fasting?

dont the kids ask you "whats the point??"

That's not the definition of fasting - it's the practice of fasting.

If the kids ask what's the point, you don't give them blag about what you think its about, you tell it straight as Allah explained it - it's to gain taqwa and proximity to Allah which is the point of worships. Such an issue does not require terms of lectures and education!

MuslimSister wrote:
Lilly wrote:
Anonymous1 wrote:
Other duties like fasting simply require one not to eat or drink in a given month, a process that would be of the order of minutes to get the basics taught, an hour or two max if the kids ae slow.

if that how you define fasting?

dont the kids ask you "whats the point??"

It took longer than a few minutes for me to understand the significance, rewards and purpose behind fasting.

In fact, every year I STILL read and research and listen to lectures about fasting. it may be cos I'm slow or it maybe cos my understanding of fasting doesnt stop at 'not eating and drinking for a month'

Allah requires you practice fasting when you hit puberty - minimally this is necessary and is not conditioned (shart) by knowing its significance, purpose etc

If one wishes to conflate many issues then teaching your kids is going to be a mess! One needs to be conceptually clear of the various components of knowledge, how they fit together, which ones are necessary for practice and which are necessary for conceptual clarity and utilise them appropriately for the appropriate aim.

The first aim with children is practice which is very easy to achieve. Other layers can be added to provide understanding and meaning, layer by layer, over time entering intricacies and subtleties that most Muslims generally don't have any understanding thereof...

@ anon1 - as a teacher you should know that simply telling someone something is not enough. You have to show them the way too. (or was that another of your many lies? We have the masters degree, the many years of study under many leading scholars and you being a teacher too, except you do not seem to understand what teaching kids involves.)

Especially so for children, whereas for adults you can tell them and expect them to do things of their own accord.

Are you really saying that it is western philosophy and ideology that makes (potential) parents worry that they may not be able to do a good enough job?

"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.

You wrote:
@ anon1 - as a teacher you should know that simply telling someone something is not enough. You have to show them the way too. (or was that another of your many lies? We have the masters degree, the many years of study under many leading scholars and you being a teacher too, except you do not seem to understand what teaching kids involves.)

Especially so for children, whereas for adults you can tell them and expect them to do things of their own accord.

Are you really saying that it is western philosophy and ideology that makes (potential) parents worry that they may not be able to do a good enough job?

As I keep telling you, read what I wrote not what you would like me to write so you stand a chance of refuting it - and I'd get that eagle eye of yours seen to - it picks up very little these days... or is it you are feeling left out as usual and want to argue for argument's sake?

My posting spoke about teaching children not telling children - maybe you want to "google" what that means and entails... it will clarify most of your irrelevant post.

Teaching involves more than you seem to imagine - especially from a parenting point of view. you should know this - otherwise why else would good upbringing be given such importance when all that was needed was at one point someone read a few things out to the child and hey, job done.

I think you are alone in the whole history of humanity in your understanding in your opinion of teaching.

I am pretty surprised at this as I thought you were a teacher! Or is that another one of your lies? Do you really teach?

"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.

You wrote:
Teaching involves more than you seem to imagine - especially from a parenting point of view. you should know this - otherwise why else would good upbringing be given such importance when all that was needed was at one point someone read a few things out to the child and hey, job done.

I think you are alone in the whole history of humanity in your understanding in your opinion of teaching.

I am pretty surprised at this as I thought you were a teacher! Or is that another one of your lies? Do you really teach?

Again fantasy and unsubstantiated rantings... you should read what I posted and address that, not make up what you would like to refute. None of the above was posted by me... maybe it was how you were brought up by parents who thought they could teach and could not that gives you such insecurities... don't take them out on others - even if you are desperately seeking a pretext to attack someone - it's not done in civilised circles... only in gutter life...

I don't have those insecurities. Some other sister posted having them, which you decided to jump on to show how superior you were.

Tell me this - the the prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wa Sallam (Peace and Blessings be upon him) not spend many a night in prostration worrying about his ummah and where it would go? Was he not found crying?

and you know better to not have any qualms and uncertainties... that is your way afterall... reject qur'an and hadith in order to feel all smug and superior.

"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.

You wrote:
I don't have those insecurities. Some other sister posted having them, which you decided to jump on to show how superior you were.

Tell me this - the the prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wa Sallam (Peace and Blessings be upon him) not spend many a night in prostration worrying about his ummah and where it would go? Was he not found crying?

and you know better to not have any qualms and uncertainties... that is your way afterall... reject qur'an and hadith in order to feel all smug and superior.

Yes the Prophet(saw) feared where the ummah would go and if they would deviate from Islam - BritishIslam is such a deviation as are BritishMuslims or HinduMuslims or any other ideology fused with Muslims or Islam.

And it is true - uncertainties are removed by studying Allah's deen. The one who has not studied it has insecurities as you obviously do.

And yes, I reject all fabricated verse and hadith - whether it is by you or by others. I am happy in following what a millenium of Islamic scholarship and pious people provided us in terms of this religion and its systems including the Caliphate. You however are happy to dump aspects of Islam like the Caliphate, adopt kufr ideologies like democracy, dump the Islamic identity and adopt new ones called BritishIslam or BritishMuslims... having to resort to fabricating hadith to justify such dodgy precepts...

oh yes, the person who refuses to accept verses from the qur'an and adds words to ahadith has decided to tell people what Islam is.

Here s a clue - you cannot go around concealing essential things. You cannot go around preaching that there is no god without adding "Except Allah (swt)".

I am happy in following what a millenium of Islamic scholarship and pious people provided us in terms of this religion and its systems including the Caliphate.

Except that you dont understand what they provided and thought. Play the numbers game, but it was your own book taht you had linked to that had mentioned import duties and how they had been charged at different times at different rated by hadhrat Umar (ra).

And yes, I reject all fabricated verse and hadith - whether it is by you or by others.

Except that your definition of fabricated is unique - you consider verses and ahadith that are against your view to be fabricated, but have no problems with adding words to others, words that do not exist, in order to bolster your arguments.

"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.

You wrote:
oh yes, the person who refuses to accept verses from the qur'an and adds words to ahadith has decided to tell people what Islam is.

Here s a clue - you cannot go around concealing essential things. You cannot go around preaching that there is no god without adding "Except Allah (swt)".

You should be consistent and mention that mohammed was not a messenger before 40!

You wrote:

I am happy in following what a millenium of Islamic scholarship and pious people provided us in terms of this religion and its systems including the Caliphate.

Except that you dont understand what they provided and thought. Play the numbers game, but it was your own book taht you had linked to that had mentioned import duties and how they had been charged at different times at different rated by hadhrat Umar (ra).

That was another fabrication of yours - when asked to prove your citation you could not! Caught red handed lieing on taxes! Disgusting!
do you

You wrote:

And yes, I reject all fabricated verse and hadith - whether it is by you or by others.

Except that your definition of fabricated is unique - you consider verses and ahadith that are against your view to be fabricated, but have no problems with adding words to others, words that do not exist, in order to bolster your arguments.

You have been caught red handed several times now - do you want me to expose you again with stuff that has been posted in black and white? You've even accepted you lied about polls being conducted in Mekkah on one post when you couldn't bring any proof!!!

You should be sincere to accept your mistakes!!!