Salaam
..Is what I felt like saying to a sister who speaking so loudly, sitting behind me in the last Islamic programme I attended a few weeks ago…
I couldn’t of course, she was older then me….I did look at her many times, hoping she’d get the message…other people did try to “shush” up her…but she was adamant in filling her mate in (and every other women in the gathering) with her life story…
I know that Islamic gatherings…Eid prayers etc is an exciting time cos one meets up with friends/family that they haven’t seen for a long time…however, there is a time and place to socialise which isn’t when someone is delivering a speech.
Personally, I think the seating arrangements play a part in this…annoyingly sometimes the sisters can not see the speaker….so they lose interest and start to fidget and talk…even I find it difficult to follow a speech if I cant see the speaker….cos when you see the speaker you automatically feel more connected to the sermon and pay more attention.
Also when people are speaking in the gathering this puts the speaker off!...its not easy addressing an audience on the stand…and when people chat the speaker sometimes becomes distracted and loses his/her trail of thoughts…
Another, reason why people talk during speeches is cos of the language barriers….when someone is delivering a speech in English ….those people who can not understand English switch off and start talking…
Punctuality is something that really bugs me too…if a programme is due to start at 1.00pm people should be present BEFORE one…..yet too many people arrive hours and hours later…and why do we wait for people to arrive anyway?
People usually are present in school/uni/work on time- Why? cos they know that they’d get into trouble or be fired if they arrived late….yet in blessed gatherings of Dhikr where we are blessed with an overflow of angels where dua’s are accepted and sins are forgiven…people become lazy.
Kids also bug me…nosy/chatty/naughty kids that run around everywhere annoy me…yeah I know I don’t have kids so I’m not in a position to know how difficult it is to control some of them…but its out of order when everyone gets inconvenienced cos of them….
I think a speech on the etiquettes (Adab) of sitting in a gathering is long overdue.
What is the Adab of sitting/attending an Islamic gathering? And do you think that “bouncers” would solve the some of the problems stated above?
Does anyone else ever get frustrating with some of the behaviour they see in Islamic gatherings?
Share your thoughts…
Wasalaam
MashaALLAH a very good topic.
The adab of attending lectures, inshaALLAH will provide a comprehensive list by end of today inshaALLAH but in meantime, basic things are silence, attentiveness and sitting close to speaker. It is a sign of disrespect and arrogance for men to sit far from the speaker or to mutter things to each other or to lookhere and there.
Bouncers, is a funny idea but aint gonna go down well. Personally I have seen that the speaker ignoring it for a few mintues, and THEN getting angry and forcefully explaining the etiquette required normally shames the people and they behave beautifully. Lol, evry1 then collectively stares at the ones who were disturbing the lesson, practical lessons are best for those with dense minds.
Ya ALLAH Madad.
Haq Chaar Yaar
mosques lack organisation and professinalism
and people lack manners
I totally agree with you muslimsis, I hate it when people are talkin when a speech is goin on, its totally disrespectful and inconsiderate, if people want to gossip they should go outside! I think every talk should start off with tellin everyone to shut up and listen but then again those who decided to come halfway into the talk would miss that, i hate it when people are late without a very good reason!
As for kids, arrrgg you wud think mothers would be able to control them, i think they should leave them at home with sum1, or organisers should provide creche facilities!
Also those who dont understand urdu/english speeches who dont have any consideration for others should not attend or sit quietly!
Salaam
Crèche facilities are so important for little kids…that way mothers can relax and kids won’t inconvenience others.
There is Adab of being in a Mehfil…we are even told not to eat onions (or is it garlic?) before entering the mosque so that we don’t inconvenience others.
We should come with the intention of pleasing Allah (swt) and learning something so that we may improve and better our ways…
We should make room for others and should NOT speak whilst someone is delivering a speech…we should come on time and not leave the mosque/venue in a mess.
We should be dressed properly and should sit with wudhu….and if we’re sitting on the floor we shouldnt put our knees up….the proper way to sit is either crossed legged or should sit the way we sit in Salaah…
If we don’t have Adab for knowledge we will derive little benefits from our being there…
Wasalaam
I TOTALLY AGREE
i think every programme should start with the speaker telling the audience to "shut up"
and keep on reiterating it throughout the programme if need be
also I think late comers should be BANNED access :evil:
also have u ever stepped in to the toilets after a programme has ended?
its sick-God knows what people do in there
Salaam
Many men do not understand the importance of sister’s complete sense of participation and involvement in programmes.
I went to a programme once and the men had attached TV’s in a room so that sister’s could see the programme on that TV….whilst they themselves could sit in the presence of the Shaykh…
If I wanted to watch a Shaykh on TV, I could do that from home….the sisters, complained and the men then made a partition in the main hall for the sisters…
If funny how some people go extreme in their partition in Islamic programmes…of course, pardah is important but surely a single screen is enough?...If brothers and sisters can not see one another, what’s the problem?
It’s really not necessary to put sisters is a completely separate room and place TV’s in front of them with rubbish sound…
When women can’t hear/see the speakers then of course they’re going to lose interest and start chatting.
Wasalaam
this topic is soooo tru and this scenario of sisters (and old mammaz) talking either because they dnt understand the language of the speaker or simply because they treat the gathering as a social club.....is sooo annoying!!!
im off 2 da masjid in a bit....special program 4 laylat-ul-qadr...lets hope da buddies keep it quite 2day!!!!
what makes me laugh is-
in our society girls work with men/study with men/sit in buses/trains with men
go to town centre's that aint gender segregated etc etc
but in the mosque-house of God those same people go OTT with pardah
pardah is important-but not if women end up missing out in the programme cos of it
totally agree...jus another cultural example of how women are not treated equally even wen Islam allows that men and women be in da same hall with a parting/pardah in the middle....so the women can also see da speaker
EXACTLY
ppl think this is minor-but its a BIG DEAL
u just HAVE to see the speaker thats delivering the lecture...
i went a ramadan programme few weeks ago...they had a pardah in the middle...girls and boy couldnt see one another but the stand was in the middle so that girls could see the speaker-
but when my sister did a speech-they moved the stand over to the women's side and closed the pardah a bit more so that the guys couldnt see her-
i think having a sister speaker is VERY important in prgrammes that are for girls and boys
girls feel more involved that way
too bad not every mosque considers its importance
i agree with everything mentioned here EXCEPT the issue of kids.
Creche facilities could be useful i suppose. but personally, if i had a child i wudnt feel at peace leaving him/her in the creche.
i think we should look at the Prophet (s.a.w)'s beautiful example: he was never seen scolding kids or being angered/agitated by them. Hassan and Hussain (r.a) would play around him whilst he prayed, they would sometimes climb onto his back whilst he was in sujood, but he would not push them away.
i accept that at times this is easier said than done, but we should be more understanding and patient when it comes to kids...
[size=9]I NEVER WORE IT BECAUSE OF THE TALIBAN, MOTHER. I LIKE THE [b]MODESTY[/b] AND [b]PROTECTION[/b] IT AFFORDS ME FROM THE EYES OF MEN.[/size] [url=http://www.adherents.com/lit/comics/Dust.html]Dust, X-Men[/url]
That happened to us when we went to Manchesta just so we could sit in the prescence of Shaykh-ul-Islam, and boy was i mad when we were thrown upstairs with a SMALL tele and rubbish sound system :evil:
So instead we looked through the teeny weeny wee holes just so we could actually see Shaykh-ul-Islam in reality as opposed to the TV...
We had a mehfil today and there was an english speech, the old ladies started talkin :roll: i was soo tempted to tell them to hush but i didnt cuz i knew they would fail to understand english!
We had heckling...
Salam
Women mostly go to eye or to be eyed.
Very few go to listen.
Omrow
Asalamualaikum!
Good topic!
Its very frustrating wen pple talk in gatherings n annoyin too.
Just like last nites gathering, a naath khawan was readin a naath n ladies were talkin, so the youth league sent a complaint dwnstairs to make an announcement on speaker, after they heard the announcement they were quiet for few mins n started again. :evil:
Especially wen Qibla Huzoor's lecture was live broadcasted 4rm Lahore thru the 4ne, they made such a racket that we culdnt even make any notes.
We told one of the ladies to tell em to shut up, she did but they wuldnt. Sum pple r so annoyin n coz Islamically we hav to show respect to them u jus cant say anyfin apart 4rm b patient
Even though im a sister id hav to agree wid Omrow
coz its true but nt every1 of them.
"Duniya toh badalti rehti hai...Ey mere Quaid tuh kabhi Na badal janaa"
In an only females mehfil :shock:
Stop being stupid
lol
The Lover is ever drunk with love;
He is free, he is mad,
He dances with ecstasy and delight.
Caught by our own thoughts,
We worry about every little thing,
But once we get drunk on that love,
Whatever will be, will be.
ɐɥɐɥ
come 2 da chill out zone is wicked deres a poll al in favour of hating me come and vote
Those who danced were thought to be quite insane, by those who couldn't hear the music...
Yeh..but if u luk at it 4rm the fashion way, ull c that its similar coz ladies wnt jus stp starin at each otha n the way they r dressed.
N i thought he meant 4rm the fashion way, nt the otha way :oops:
"Duniya toh badalti rehti hai...Ey mere Quaid tuh kabhi Na badal janaa"
Well he could have meant it that way, if that was the case he should have worded it properly.
But some women just go for a good gossip which really annoys me cuz they dont let others listen to the speech etc.
I don't see eye to eye with him on this.
It takes two to eye each other up. So how would you know women are eyeing men up, unless you're looking in their direction also?
Men are just as weak as women, to accuse women of this sin is a typically chauvinistic style expected of you.
All I see is that women do a damn lot more to prevent lingering gazes from men. They wear hijab, they wear niqab, they sit in confined, even screened off areas. What effort do men make in comparison?
They have the best sitting areas in the mosques, they wear pretty much what they like even if it goes against the sunnah, coz hey "we're men we can". They get greater access to the ulema.
When a man looks at a woman or speaks to her it's "dawah". When a woman so much as looks at a man ,like a casual glance which is quite normal unless you wear blinkers, the reaction is "astagfirullah sister you're flirting". Get a reality check brothers!
Some women flirt but so do some men. Most brothers and sisters who go to gatherings actually go to learn something.
I would agree women seem to natter and gossip more than men, but the flirting issue no way.
Yep Yash your right, takes two to tango!
how the hell can girls eye up guys if they cant see them? :roll:
the girls who gets their kicks outta being eyed up wouldnt be in an islamic programme in the first place
so do me favour-and just SHUT UP :evil:
Salaam
Omrow, please think before you speak…
Most programmes Islamic programmes are “sisters only” and those that are mixed are strictly segregated.
Most people respect the Mosque….even if a girl doesn’t cover usually, she will go out of her way to cover her hair in an Islamic programme.
And like it has been pointed out “it takes two to tango” a girl would only get eyed up if there are dodgy guys present with the intention to “eye up” sisters…
Wasalaam
Salam
Thank you for confirming what I said.
Omrow
yeh i rememba dat....was really frustrating and soo unfair
You said that the sisters that attend programmes are those who only "go to eye or to be eyed".
I totally disagree with such a statement.
Salam
I never said that.
I know you like to binge, but that is no excuse to not read properly what I had written.
Omrow