salaam

i dont feel u sound like i slut. i kind of do belive in just beings friends it depends wat type thats despite wat i have said previously and the reason i said it is because i have seen it happen with muslims aswell they first start off just chattin n txtin then comes a point where if they dont txt each other its qayamah actually that can jus be one-sided u shouldnt be obliged to call him or to reply to his txt msgs.

If he is a real mate he will understand when you say you just want friendship. Its times like this you find out who your real matez are and who aren't.

HOW CAN ANY GIRL OR BOY BE "JUST MATES" WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS FEELINGS FOR THEM

Mr Admin I had to shout-this issue bugs me

IMO them people who are "just mates" with peope who fancy them lead others on-

thats so wrong

lilsis i know how u feel this seems to be going round in circles lets clarify for the sister shall we

1. she's mates with a guy - IMO highly suspect especially if they meet alone can lead to following

2. the mate has fallen in love - no surprises there since being mates with the opposite sex is against sharia because it can lead to this

3. what to do now get married of course sounds like a good match to me and most other people but no

4. sister says its too complicated cant marry him then we say to her drop the mate but no she cant do that

5. so we say then tell him straight got to be harsh because nice is not working but then again sister says No cant do that

6. so we say point 3 again get married then

and so on and on it goes in circles

if i was in the sisters position i would get out soon as possible or get married

but what i wouldnt be doing is justifying why i had to remain mates with the guy!

and anyway pardon my rosa but shouldnt the sister be better off discussing this private affair with the agony aunt

on the other hand if the topic had been presented in a hypothetical manner ie 'the permissability and consequences of opposite sex freindships in Islam' then i'd feel comfortable discussing the subject a bit more

well said seema, go to agony aunt and to all you girls with boy mates dont lead them on and make it clear what you want

"Raf786" wrote:

well said seema, go to agony aunt and to all you girls with boy mates dont lead them on and make it clear what you want

HMM TOTALLY AGREEE WA YA,
DIS THRED IS VERY INTRSTN
OPE U SORT YA PROBS OUT

ASK AGONY AUNT WE GIVE UP

"f020855" wrote:

i think that shes kinda UP for the whole weddin thin n if she finds out that he likes me then her trust in me will shatter forever coz she'l think that i've betrayed her n stuff. So i'm kinda gona take some of your advices n mite jus let them get married n c wat ALLAH has in store for me in the future. I guess thats the best thing to do at the moment wat ya guys think? :?

dont u care for ur cousin?

why do u want her to get married to someone who is hooked on someone else?

thats every girls nightmare-getting married to a guys who loves someone else

u shouldnt knowingly put ur cousin thru this

"MuslimSisLilSis" wrote:

"f020855" wrote:

i think that shes kinda UP for the whole weddin thin n if she finds out that he likes me then her trust in me will shatter forever coz she'l think that i've betrayed her n stuff. So i'm kinda gona take some of your advices n mite jus let them get married n c wat ALLAH has in store for me in the future. I guess thats the best thing to do at the moment wat ya guys think? :?

dont u care for ur cousin?

why do u want her to get married to someone who is hooked on someone else?

thats every girls nightmare-getting married to a guys who loves someone else

i totally agree wiv you, blood is thicker than water, F020855 you should tell your cousin.

u shouldnt knowingly put ur cousin thru this

"MuslimSisLilSis" wrote:

"f020855" wrote:

i think that shes kinda UP for the whole weddin thin n if she finds out that he likes me then her trust in me will shatter forever coz she'l think that i've betrayed her n stuff. So i'm kinda gona take some of your advices n mite jus let them get married n c wat ALLAH has in store for me in the future. I guess thats the best thing to do at the moment wat ya guys think? :?

dont u care for ur cousin?

why do u want her to get married to someone who is hooked on someone else?

thats every girls nightmare-getting married to a guys who loves someone else

u shouldnt knowingly put ur cousin thru this

I totally agree wiv you, blood is thicker than water, F020855 you should tell your cousin.

yep-a cousin is 100X more important then some guy

totally agree with lilsis on this one, you cannot make sum1 as close as your cuz marry sum1 who loves you! Apart from the fact the guy will be thinkin of you 24/7 it wont work out....if you really want to help your cuz tell her that this guy likes you and distance yourself from the guy. Then leave the rest up to Allah (swt)

"angel" wrote:

....if you really want to help your cuz tell her that this guy likes you and distance yourself from the guy. Then leave the rest up to Allah (swt)

gowan angel

good point

this is a messy situation-its best to totally avoid it

"f020855" wrote:

ASSALAMU - ALAIKUM! OKAY I'L TELL MY CUZ N C WAT SHE DOES IF AFTA KNOWIN DAT DA GUY LIKES ME N SHE STILLS WANTS TO GO AHEAD WITH THE WEDDING DEN I WILL MAKE SURE THATS WAT HAPPENS N MY FRIENDSHIP WILL END WITH DA GUY STARTIN FROM 2DAY N MAY ALLAH GIVE ME THE STRENGTH TO ACT UPON THIS PROMISE. THANX BRO'S N SISZ WHO HELPED, MAY ALLAH REWARD YOU N PLEASE PRAY FOR MY CUZN DAT MAY HER LIFE BE FILLED WITH HAPPINESS N JOY. TAKE CARE N WASSALAAM 2 ALL

Ur defo doing the rite thing there.

salam
there is such a thing as being just mates.trust me but u hav got to have the respect factor between yourselves....only sumtimes does it turn in2 something else..but the one that i find funny is when they start off "brother this"......"sister this" and then pyaar ho jaatha hai lol

Salaam.

A story about a kid:

Act I

She loves him, she loves him not.

"f020855" wrote:

MED its not that easy im still studying n on top of that thres a new twist to this mad story. n the twist is that my aunt n uncle have asked me to ask my mates parents if they would get him married to my lil cousn so im in the middle basically coz if i marry him then i let my family down n if i reject him then i hurt him i jus wana do somethin so stupid n get out of all this forever

She loves him.

"seema*" wrote:

3. what to do now get married of course sounds like a good match to me and most other people but no

4. sister says its too complicated cant marry him then we say to her drop the mate but no she cant do that

5. so we say then tell him straight got to be harsh because nice is not working but then again sister says No cant do that

An excellent analysis of the options and the situation.

"f020855" wrote:

orite hes a nice person n very loving. if i wanted i could get married to him n let my aunt n uncles hopes go down the drain BUT i aint like that i cant be selfish nor hurt anyone on purpose . also my cousin shes bin askin me what type of person my mate is n wats he done in the past you know the usual kind of questions a gal likes to ask when shes choosin her life partner. i think that shes kinda UP for the whole weddin thin n if she finds out that he likes me then her trust in me will shatter forever coz she'l think that i've betrayed her n stuff. So i'm kinda gona take some of your advices n mite jus let them get married n c wat ALLAH has in store for me in the future. I guess thats the best thing to do at the moment wat ya guys think?

Yup. she defo loves him.

Self sacrafice? Great idea if you can handle it but it seems a shame to waste a potential marriage partner because someone is interested in getting married, she does have any milage with this guy, so she doesn't loose much if her plans get aborted.

"MuslimSisLilSis" wrote:

dont u care for ur cousin?

why do u want her to get married to someone who is hooked on someone else?

thats every girls nightmare-getting married to a guys who loves someone else

u shouldnt knowingly put ur cousin thru this

…

yep-a cousin is 100X more important then some guy

Ahh, a new element enters stage left. Hmm very astute people and a decision should be made before a crescendo is reached.

(stick in two hours of dancing and we have a feature length bollywood film! joke.)

" angel" wrote:

totally agree with lilsis on this one, you cannot make sum1 as close as your cuz marry sum1 who loves you! Apart from the fact the guy will be thinkin of you 24/7 it wont work out

uh huh it seems as though you have an opening here to see your happiness fulfilled and don't forget its still not selfish coz you would be looking out for your cousin and she might tell you to go for him if only you'd let her know he digs you.

(this is too perfect)

" angel" wrote:

....if you really want to help your cuz tell her that this guy likes you and distance yourself from the guy. Then leave the rest up to Allah (swt)

Very sage advice, (this is the point where you go aqnd cry into your pillow for dramatic effect.).

"f020855" wrote:

ASSALAMU - ALAIKUM! OKAY I'L TELL MY CUZ N C WAT SHE DOES IF AFTA KNOWIN DAT DA GUY LIKES ME N SHE STILLS WANTS TO GO AHEAD WITH THE WEDDING DEN I WILL MAKE SURE THATS WAT HAPPENS N MY FRIENDSHIP WILL END WITH DA GUY STARTIN FROM 2DAY N MAY ALLAH GIVE ME THE STRENGTH TO ACT UPON THIS PROMISE. THANX BRO'S N SISZ WHO HELPED, MAY ALLAH REWARD YOU N PLEASE PRAY FOR MY CUZN DAT MAY HER LIFE BE FILLED WITH HAPPINESS N JOY. TAKE CARE N WASSALAAM 2 ALL

Ameen. Kind kid, definately potential for the heroinne of the peice.

What will her cousin say?

Whatever happens stay tune for the sequel when they intradionally DON'T elope but get legitimately married and start to find acceptance but watch out for the twist ...where the mate/husband finds her serial no. (f020855), realizes she's a cyborg and freaks, will love win out?…

Credits roll.

LOL funny guy

where can i get a pirate copy of this film?

btw..... i hope ur not takin the michael of the sister and her situation

course not.

I just saw dramatic potential.

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Brilliant script Dawud.

"f020855" wrote:

orite hes a nice person n very loving. if i wanted i could get married to him n let my aunt n uncles hopes go down the drain BUT i aint like that i cant be selfish nor hurt anyone on purpose

my advice would be for u to marry him. Forget thinking abt letting ur relatives down cos u knw ppl who ALWAYS think abt others get nothing in this world.

Im exactly the same when it comes to family but am beginning to doubt if it gets u anywhere. In a major thing like marriage, u gotta go with what is best for u, not what u worry abt ur aunt and uncle. They will get over it, trust me, but the question is if u really do wanna marry him, will u get over him marrying your cousin?

Dawud- brill script. let me know when it hits the movies. blockbuster material.

Med- I agree. If she only looks out for others she will be miserable in the long run. my mum used to do that, but now she does what is right for her and she is happier. it works, but not to the point of selfishness. you have to do what you think is right.

xxx

"fizzy1" wrote:

xxx

please dont

its still ramadan

yes there has to be a balance.

I dont say be selfish in each and every thing. Thats just sick.

But in major issues, you have to think about yourself aswell. I dont advocate selfishness, but neither do I advocate complete selflessness. Subhanallah even our bodies, our families etc have a right over us.

Personally, as I stated b4, I think u shud marry hiim. He obviously seems to be a good person and he wants marriage not another thing, make the brothers life and marry him. I wud be soo happy for him, there u wanna be selfless innit. Im gonna feel sorry for the brother cos if u completely reject him then its gonna b a killa pain, better to just marry him . smiles all round in long run, lol.