Salaam
Most of us here are of a Pakistani/Bengali etc background and were born in the UK.
So who here gets accused of being a coconut or gets accused of being “too westernised”?
I get this pretty much all the time…not from my immediate family but from the ladies in my community……the "what’s it gotta do with them" argument, is a separate issue-For now I wish to look at their heartfelt “concerns”….
I do love my Pakistani food, I love the Pakistani dress…I speak crap Urdu and have never been “expected” to live my life as a “typical Pakistani girl”…I can study, I can work, I can drive, (as soon as I get my license!), I don’t run my house and I’m not expected to do anything I don’t want to do…but for some reason, the way I live my life is a cause for concern for people who do not even know me….I’m not “Paki enough for them, and apparently my parents have allowed me to run wild”.... :?
More interestingly, the “secular” side of my family thinks I’m way too backwards…
If a person doesn’t know their language, does that make them a coconut?
If a person doesn’t wear their cultural dress, does that make them a coconut?
If a person doesn’t like their food, does that make them a coconut?
If a person doesn’t abide up what the rules dictated to them by their culture, does that make them a coconut?
If a person doesn’t like to visit their country back home, does that make them a “coconut”?
And does being a so- called coconut make one any less of a good Muslim?
What exactly does it mean to be “too westernised” and after being born and brought up in this country isn’t the dilution of our culture inevitable?
On a side note-the men in my family are cricket fanatics…I remember when I was about 10 and England and Pakistan were playing in the finals…I got told off for supporting England –lol
So ARE we losing our connection with our roots? And is this a serious cause for concern?
Do you perceive yourself or others as so-called coconuts? Do you think we’re more “white” then “brown”? Are people from back home with strong attachment with their culture more or less better people from here?
Share your thoughts…
Wasalaam
Asalamualaikum!
First of all i wasnt born in the UK or Pakistan but still pple call me all sorts sumtimes im too westernised, too extremist n sum pple call me a pakistani as a nationality, as a name.
No matter hw u behave wid others or wat u do 4 others there's alwayz complaints on hw u dress,act n wen it cums to culture it just doesent stp. Its paki dis n paki dat. They'll say u shuldnt do dis coz pakis dnt, u shuldnt support England or respect all of the laws coz we r pakis.
From my point of view the culture has over taken the religion.
Is ur religion more important???? or ur culture?????
I alwayz try n ignore these type of comments bout culture etc...even though it aint dat easy this life is a test 4 us but i think discussin these kind of topics normally helps a lot of pple.
Jazak'Allah khair
"Duniya toh badalti rehti hai...Ey mere Quaid tuh kabhi Na badal janaa"
i dont know how to speak Urdu so that makes me a "modern girl" :roll: :roll:
i never felt the need to speak/learn Urdu
but i dont think i'm a coconut
i think a cocnut is someone who hates their culture
yo i hate mine, is i a coconut?
loads of british pakiz can't speak urdu
whats the big deal :roll:
What you put in the hearts of others; is what goes back into your own heart…
lol it sounds like they want you to basically build "new pakistan" in the middle of london. That's all well and good I suppose but doesn't that sort of give a little more weight to the argument from people like the BNP that asians are just coming to Britain for jobs, not because they actually like anything about it?
Seems to me like you are damned if you do and damned if you don't.
So if that's the case forget what the ladies in the community think and just do what works for you.
me and muj are arabs
thats utter rubbish
the culture in the vast mojority of so-called muslim countries contradicts islam. i think saudi culture is worse then paki culture.
erm...isn't that a good thing?
What you put in the hearts of others; is what goes back into your own heart…
I love Pakistan, everything about it that doesnt go against religion I like.
But I understand that I am in a minority here. Most people here, including my brothers and cousins, dont like pakistan that much but I personally love it!
I think everyone has their own tastes and thats ok, but personally did I mention I love pakistan? I love the adhaan resounding in my ears, I love the openennes, the weather, the food, the people. I love the way people mention ALLAH in their conversation, I love the madaris and the masajid that are dotted around everywhere. I love the simplicity comparitively. I love the village life, where you can happily sit for half an hour for the nest van without getting annoyed about the time.
I love the language and the clothes but prefer thobe.
I dont like the corruption, the poverty, the innovation, the exploitation, the caste abuses etc.
Ya ALLAH Madad.
Haq Chaar Yaar
is this a diffrent pakistan you speak of?
note to hayder: make sure you visit this Pakistan that Med speaks so fondly of
The Lover is ever drunk with love;
He is free, he is mad,
He dances with ecstasy and delight.
Caught by our own thoughts,
We worry about every little thing,
But once we get drunk on that love,
Whatever will be, will be.
ɐɥɐɥ
[url=http://www.muslimyouth.net/guidance.php?a_id=246&id_fk4=35&id_fk=7&id_fk... quiz should tell u how coconut-fied u are
Mostly Cs.
Boring. Predictable. Lame.
A coconut? What? Short, round and hairy?
No, thank God, definitely not
~Judgements prevent us from seeing the good that lies beyond appearances.~
"God put me on this earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now I am so far behind that I will never die" ~ Bill Watterson
How about that i'm the perfect blend!
Mostly Cs
Wow! It seems like you’ve managed to strike the perfect balance between the two cultures… do you happen to be a Libra? The important thing now is to carry on this way but not to spend too much time worrying about the balance. Instead, spend more time enjoying it now that you’ve got it.
Looks like i've found the perfect blend of my western culture with this western culture i'm living in!!!
Dave
how one Earth was this quiz even applicable to u? :?:
I wanted to see if I was a coconut.
Apparently I have found the perfect blend!!
I haven't sold out my wasp heritage to my wasp heritage.
You should be happy for me!
ur not even British let alone a Muslim
U must be REALLY confused about ur identity if u did this quiz AND reached the conclusion that u have acheived a "perfect balence"
We really do need a docter in the house :twisted:
Hey look.
I've been having some integration issues okay??
And this quiz is telling me that it's not my fault and that i've got the perfect blend.
So ya know what - i don't need your judgment!
ur hilarious dave
and even thou confused with ur idenity-u fit right in here
its a honour to have u
GO DAVE (I'm ur cheerleader these days)
I can't always tell when you are being sarcastic....
pakistan is arite.....the cool village breeze,open space..all the greenery
what aint arite is the creepy crawlies and the wierd
noises u hear at night ,also i speak urdu where as my whole generation is punjabi so its propa hard to talk to em in they language, but id love to go....inshallah in a few months,
i dont get ppl here calling me a cocunut...but ppl there think we cocunuts
coz we arent fluent in our language...
we dont like sum foods
always talking english, cant cook cant clean proper etc....
the word 'coconut' is used to describe an asian that don't like there culture or trys to act "white" coz a coconut is brown from the out side and white from the inside. I have never come across an arab used the term "coconut" its manily used by ppl from the indian subcontinent, mainly pakistanis.
Knowing urdu (or arabic in my case) is not exactly important. But ppl make a big deal out of it.
What you put in the hearts of others; is what goes back into your own heart…
In American English 'Asians' are people from eastern Asia.
In English English 'Asians' are people from the Indian Subcontinent.
I think a coconut is someone who is ashamed of their own roots. They may not necessarily dislike their culture, but when they're with their mates they don't want to associate with it, because it's "uncool". Heck you don't want to get called a freshy so best not say you like urdu poetry, or traditional clothing, food etc. I confess when i was younger i was a bit like that, but now i don't care at all.
I used to think there's no point in learning my mother tongue, but now i think it's a part of who i am and i should embrace that. As long as my cultural practises don't conflict with my islamic belief it's all well and good.
Besides it's a good thing to know a few languages. Had i known my mother tongue i could speak about islam more fluently with my parents. The language barrier prevents me, i can't find the right words in translating. So for dawah to my own folks i'm at a disadvantage.
I could have read literature not just in English but my mother tongue aswell . My life would have been more enriched. I'm definately gona make sure my kids insha'Allah learn both English, Arabic and their mother tongue and urdu and french because they can be put to good use. Poor kids lool.
yup. nowadays a coconut is not just an asian who is ashamed of his/her roots, but anyone who is ashamed of their culture etc.
"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.
so any definition to a freshie then?
The Lover is ever drunk with love;
He is free, he is mad,
He dances with ecstasy and delight.
Caught by our own thoughts,
We worry about every little thing,
But once we get drunk on that love,
Whatever will be, will be.
ɐɥɐɥ
1)A freshie is something you could have been if your parents hadn't come to the western lands for work.
2)We are all freshies, since we are "foreigners". Whether we like it or not,even if we were born here our ancestors are not pure Britons or Americans etc.
3) It's a sign of our own arrogance that we now call our cousins who come over from the indopak regions for work or marriage "freshies". Little forgetting we are one of them. If it wasn't for our parents we could have been the most accomplished and educated individual in all of india, but in the west we would be deemed as nothing but a worthless useless freshy? Wake up call! Many of these ppl from back home that we so mockingly call freshies are more educated than us, so enough of the lowly names.
4) freshies are humans
5) freshie is a discriminatory label designed to give us an ego, like we are more superior than these ppl coz we live in the so called civilised modern world.
well if freshie is an offensive term.....isnt a Coconut then?
why do you favour one and not the other?
one lives like a proper paki and the other lives like a proper brit
The Lover is ever drunk with love;
He is free, he is mad,
He dances with ecstasy and delight.
Caught by our own thoughts,
We worry about every little thing,
But once we get drunk on that love,
Whatever will be, will be.
ɐɥɐɥ
it stinks of arrogance calling others freshies. My brothers sometimes call me a freshy cos Im quite pakistani.
What is it with people that just cos they have a burgundy passport they suddenly think they soooo much better than their relatives back home? I mean people I know send money back hoem to their relatives and then expect their relatives to almost worship them when they go back home or or they badmouth the pakistani relatives and say oh they just parasites who live off us.
Firstly if British Pakistanis send money to help their relatives then they have no right to demand anything in return, not even a thanks.
Secondly if British Pakistanis are soo annoyed by their supposedly parasitic relatives then stop sending them the money, but no cant do that cos u dont want the village to know that your relatives are starving while you living it up in uk.
Thirdly I can say with a pretty full convicition that if the boot was on the other foot and we were sitting in the village and they were sitting in uk, WE would be waiting for them to send us money.
I hate this arrogance that burgundy passport holders have. It is a jahil concept. You only better than another if you have more taqwa, so what they spk english in a funny way, or they watch cock-fights, or they smoke loads. Aint like we any better, we just spk english in a different funny accent (most of us chat in a ghetto english, atleast the pakis have a reason, whats oure excuse for being handicapped spkers (including myself)), we go to these filthy cinema places, we smoke and swear.
Truly the worth of men is by their piety. The rest is an ignorance.
Ya ALLAH Madad.
Haq Chaar Yaar
agreed
the only reason i used the term freshy was because i see it as the exact opposite to a 'coconut'
isnt that an equally disgusting term then?
why are we quick to jump on the backs of the 'coconuts' and ready to defend the brothers from the homeland?
Equality and Justice for all
...except batty people
The Lover is ever drunk with love;
He is free, he is mad,
He dances with ecstasy and delight.
Caught by our own thoughts,
We worry about every little thing,
But once we get drunk on that love,
Whatever will be, will be.
ɐɥɐɥ
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