MuslimBro wrote:

Stop whinging.

In Paradise (both men and women) will get whatever they desire. Let's leave it at that.

Quite right.

They (we, insha'Allah) will be told to ask for what we want, and it will be granted to us. Then we will be asked again for more that we want. Then again and again. We shall keep being asked what more do we want until we run out of things and literally can't think of anything more to ask for. Then Allah (swt) will ask "what about this?" and show us something new, completely beyond what is here in this dunya, then He will give us something new again, and again. Each time something more amazing than before.

So, let's just leave it at that, shall we. ("its so unfair," astaghfirullah!)

love to live but living to die wrote:

1R4M wrote:

love to live but living to die wrote:

cheeesy!

i heard that women in paradise will get pious men as partners, and there's one thing that i'm not sure abt but i'll ask any way... i've heard that Jannah is not for sexual desires at all... is that correct or no?

what hav YOU been reading mate?!?!?!

there.... the reason i said that is because of its definition:
mate 1 (mt)
n.
1. One of a matched pair: the mate to this glove.
2. A spouse.
3.
a. Either of a pair of animals or birds that associate in order to propagate.
b. Either of a pair of animals brought together for breeding.
4.
a. A person with whom one is in close association; an associate.
b. Chiefly British A good friend or companion.
c. A person with whom one shares living quarters. Often used in combination: advertised for a new flatmate.
5. A deck officer on a merchant ship ranking next below the master.
6. A U.S. Navy petty officer who is an assistant to a warrant officer

and i am none of the above to you or any1 else here! i know its slang but please rrefrain from using such terminology.

well this is the coversation:

jeez relax

since most of you brothers are not married find no.1 first then we'll have an interesting discussion.

Hajjar wrote:

since most of you brothers are not married find no.1 first then we'll have an interesting discussion.

ouch.

lol

1R4M wrote:

strict regulations that make it impossible to hav more than one
cos men will never treat two women in the same way

Thats true. My dad's dad is married twice. Both his wives live under the same roof but he has never treated them equally coz he bags it off his second wife. His first wife (my granny) MashAllah she has been a very patient and tolerate woman (may Allah(swt) reward her for this). Any other woman in my grannys position would have left. His other wife is very possessive and jealous and till this day she doesnt like it when he sends time with my granny. She will do anything to drive a wedge between them.

But this hasnt put me off. If i was married and my husband turned around to me and said i want to marry another woman i would give him my blessing....seriously i would. If Islam permits a Muslim man to marry more than once then who am i to take away that right. Also the Prophets wives (may Allah(swt) be pleased with all of them) were pious women who had feelings so if they could handle the Prophet marrying more than one so can i. There is a very good chance that he would never treat me and the other woman equally (second wives are always controlling, jealous and possessive) but i could live with that. All i ask is that if he had any kids to treat them right, be there for them coz at the end of the day kids need both parents around otherwise they grow up dysfunctional.

In regards to whether being wifey no.2 i would NEVER muscle in on someone elses man coz i know his first wife would never be ok with it. There arent many women in this duniya that could tolerate their husband having another wife.

Naz wrote:

If i was married and my husband turned around to me and said i want to marry another woman i would give him my blessing....seriously i would. If Islam permits a Muslim man to marry more than once then who am i to take away that right.

My ustadh was saying how some people have disgust and despise of men who have more than one wife. He was telling us of an imam who had two wives, and bcoz of this he was sacked by the mosque committee.

Naz wrote:

Ya'qub wrote:

I think in Hanafi fiqh it is the wife's obligation to cook and clean.

But in Shafi'i fiqh it is the husband's obligation (to at least pay for someone else to cook and clean).

Correct me if I'm wrong.

There is nothing in the Quran that states that Muslims have to follow a school of thought so I don’t acknowledge any of them. If you or anyone can provide evidence from the Quran then I'm willing pay attention

In regards to the issue on Hur, say for arguments sake they are females well what do women get for being good? or are they all doomed to hell? After all the majority of hell is made up of women.

Im not trying to make a mountain out of a mole-hill, :? but I feel quite strongly about maintaining those traditional islamic principles that have been established by our scholars (ahem):

The Qur'an does not have to ask us to follow a school of thought for us to do so. The Qur'an doesnt tell us to pray exactly 5 times a day, or keep the Qur'an in a book, but we do..

Id *really* emphasise to ANYONE to study/read up on some of the basics of Islamic jurisprudence to get an idea of why following a madhab is necessary. It really clarifies matters, and would bring back the respect and deserving honour for scholars such as Imam Abu Hanifa, Shafi', Malik, Dhahir, Awza'i etc who I feel are *greatly* being undervalued today..

There is a great book that recently came out, which I think is pertinent:
Al-La Madhhabiyya: Abandoning the Madhhabs

Other good books:

Principles of Islamic Jurisprudence

Understanding the Four Madhabs

The Four Imams and Their Schools

The Four Imams: Their lives,works and their Schools of Thought

The Differences of the Imams

Some articles from the Masud.co.uk website:

What is a Madhab? WHy is it necessary to follow one?

Understanding the four Madhabs. The Problem of Anti-Madhhabism

Who or what is a Salafi? Is their approach valid?

Why Muslims follow Madhabs

In my opinion, most men who want more than one wife only do it because there are problems in their first marriage. If that's the case, why not sit down and try to sort out your problems? It's like running away, rather than confronting it!
To have a second wife you HAVE to be financially and emotionally fit! Most men aren't! You have to treat them equally! By having more than one wife you're putting yourself on trial.
If I was already married I would just be happy with the one, to be honest I don't blame women who get paranoid when their husbands want to marry another woman, because MOST of the time they aren't fit!
Prophet Muhammad did it to bring people together and to give divorced and widowed women a chance.
Men need to ask why they want to do it.

Courage wrote:

In my opinion, most men who want more than one wife only do it because there are problems in their first marriage. If that's the case, why not sit down and try to sort out your problems? It's like running away, rather than confronting it!
To have a second wife you HAVE to be financially and emotionally fit! Most men aren't! You have to treat them equally! By having more than one wife you're putting yourself on trial.
If I was already married I would just be happy with the one, to be honest I don't blame women who get paranoid when their husbands want to marry another woman, because MOST of the time they aren't fit!
Prophet Muhammad did it to bring people together and to give divorced and widowed women a chance.
Men need to ask why they want to do it.

WONDERFULLY SAID!!!!!

Thanks.

Regarding someone saying why do men get 72 hurs and we dont get 72 male equivalent?

Honestly, why would you want to be intimate with 72 men?! I am glad we cannot marry more than one man, the reason that stands out for me is the level of respect Islam gives to a women. I will gladly want to remain with one man in this life and the hereafter and that would be my lovely husband!

72 men eugh!

Angelic wrote:

Regarding someone saying why do men get 72 hurs and we dont get 72 male equivalent?

Honestly, why would you want to be intimate with 72 men?! I am glad we cannot marry more than one man, the reason that stands out for me is the level of respect Islam gives to a women. I will gladly want to remain with one man in this life and the hereafter and that would be my lovely husband!

72 men eugh!

That was me
n I was being sarcastic
ONE man is stressful enough!

I still dont get it.

Whats the point?

Seraphim wrote:

I still dont get it.

Whats the point?

this doesnt appeal to you because itd be pretty difficult for you to find your first wife

Sumaiya wrote:

Seraphim wrote:

I still dont get it.

Whats the point?

this doesnt appeal to you because itd be pretty difficult for you to find your first wife

lol

Sumaiya wrote:

Seraphim wrote:

I still dont get it.

Whats the point?

this doesnt appeal to you because itd be pretty difficult for you to find your first wife

WOH WOH WOH ... WOH there... lets not say things we dont mean.

Id have absolutely no problem finding a wife for reasons I shall leave to your imagination (and becoz i dont like boasting).

What i meant is. What are you supposed to do with 72 Hurs anyway? I mean since heaven has a strict no boom-boom rule. The 72 women hurs would just end up nagging the guy who in return would end up ignoring them... you see where im going with this? What would be the point of having 72 hurs?

IMO if you led a life where you were happily married. Then why not just spend the here after with them too?

Seraphim wrote:

Id have absolutely no problem finding a wife for reasons I shall leave to your imagination (and becoz i dont like boasting).

:roll: ahemmmmmmmmm

says youuu

(not 'You' you but youuu)

Seraphim wrote:

Sumaiya wrote:

Seraphim wrote:

I still dont get it.

Whats the point?

this doesnt appeal to you because itd be pretty difficult for you to find your first wife

WOH WOH WOH ... WOH there... lets not say things we dont mean.

I meant it.

Well, what does a 14 year old know anyway.

lol

well,how old are you?

Seraphim wrote:

What i meant is. What are you supposed to do with 72 Hurs anyway? I mean since heaven has a strict no boom-boom rule. The 72 women hurs would just end up nagging the guy who in return would end up ignoring them... you see where im going with this? What would be the point of having 72 hurs?

IMO if you led a life where you were happily married. Then why not just spend the here after with them too?

hahaha
well said seraphim!
besides
its paradise
there wud be no such thing as nagging!
but ye
I agree with u
u hav great mentality

Sumaiya leave him alone and he'll leave you alone.

Seraphim wrote:

WOH WOH WOH ... WOH there... lets not say things we dont mean.

Id have absolutely no problem finding a wife for reasons I shall leave to your imagination (and becoz i dont like boasting).

What i meant is. What are you supposed to do with 72 Hurs anyway? I mean since heaven has a strict no boom-boom rule. The 72 women hurs would just end up nagging the guy who in return would end up ignoring them... you see where im going with this? What would be the point of having 72 hurs?

IMO if you led a life where you were happily married. Then why not just spend the here after with them too?

Im not a guy, but why shouldn't men (or women!) have 72 Hurs? It sounds like a laugh lol. Paradise is something beyond that which our minds could fathom or imagination. So I'd be grateful and eager to grab whatever was being offered to me there - 72 Hurs or not lol.

If my husband attains jannah and gets his 72 hurs, will i care? I mean if i am in jannah myself i'll be so mesmerised by the nature of my new surroundings i won't care what he's up to. Besides that our hearts will not be filled with jealousy and envy as they are in this world,and lets face it most women are very jealous when this "hur" topic is bought up. Allah has chosen this for men, whatever Allah wills we should accept.

btw women of this world who enter jannah will have a superior status than the hur of jannah, just a little fact. Simply because women of this world work hard to attain jannah, but hurs are created solely as a reward in jannah., they don't have to work to attain it. That should cheer the sisters up!

P.S seraphim you shall not ignore a hur, you will gaze into her eyes and look at no one else for what seems a thousand years...i heard that in a lecture lol.

Hajjar wrote:

P.S seraphim you shall not ignore a hur, you will gaze into her eyes and look at no one else for what seems a thousand years...i heard that in a lecture lol.

Id like to test that theory.

I guess in heaven you're likely be given whatsoever your heart desires. Therefore women are likely to get whatever their heart desires.

Personally Im inclined to believe the German theorist's view that the reward is just a bunch of grapes

lol

= P

Hajjar wrote:

......and lets face it most women are very jealous when this "hur" topic is bought up.

:? They are?
What have they got to be jealous about?
The Quran clearly states that the pious ppl (men and women) that enter Jannat get Hur.
Plus jealously is from the shataan and it shows insecurity.

Seraphim wrote:

What i meant is. What are you supposed to do with 72 Hurs anyway? I mean since heaven has a strict no boom-boom rule. The 72 women hurs would just end up nagging the guy who in return would end up ignoring them... you see where im going with this? What would be the point of having 72 hurs?

My theory is that you just look at the women all day. Now you ask why 72. Well lets face it men get bored just looking at one woman so by having 72 when you get bored of No.1 you stare at No.2, when you get bored of No.2 you stare at No.3 and so on. When you finally get to No.72 you think to yourself hmmmm I kinda miss looking at No.1 so you go back to staring at No.1 again.

Seraphim wrote:

IMO if you led a life where you were happily married. Then why not just spend the here after with them too?

Firstly there is no such as a happily married couple (ive yet to come across one).

Secondly what happens if the husband really loves his wife and wants to remain with her in Jannat but the wife doesnt love him back what then? It just wouldnt work.

i beg to differ i'm happily married. yes we have our little tiffs but so do siblings and daughters and mothers, fathers and sons, friends etc who doesn't? Generally speaking we are extremely happy together.

Naz wrote:

Secondly what happens if the husband really loves his wife and wants to remain with her in Jannat but the wife doesnt love him back what then? It just wouldnt work.

Yeah your probably right. Women can be like that.

The lesson here is never fall in love.