Why We Are Losing Our Youth
Source: http://www.montrealmuslimnews.net/aqsacontext.htm
Why We Are Losing Our Youth
Yahya Abdul Rahman - Dec 12, 2007
As the facts surrounding the murder of 16-year-old Aqsa Parvez at the hands of her father surface, we begin to see a small sample of what many Muslim teens have to deal with on daily basis in this country. Aqsa was increasingly becoming estranged from her family because she did not wish to observe Islam in the way her parents wanted her to. As a result of her choice, her life was brutally snuffed out. She - like most other young people growing up in this country - just wanted to be a normal teenager, fit in with the rest of the crowd and have fun. But instead she was forced to live in fear and behave one way in the presence of her family while living another life-style at school or when she was with her friends. One Canadian Muslim friend of Indian extraction wrote to me and stated that: "Part of the social reality is that Muslim parents do not care about their children's upbringing and just focus on making money in the west instead of being involved with their children or even with the masjid. Then when they see their kids going astray they go nuts even though their children's social problems and dislike for deen (religion) are the parent's fault."
I am going to say something and it is not going to make me very popular in some circles, but it has to be said regardless. Muslim parents have no right to force their children to practice Islam - or even be Muslim- if they don't want to. Each and every person has to make their own personal shahadah (declaration of faith) and true belief cannot be physically pounded into a person. Just because one's parents are Muslim does not necessarily mean that the person is Muslim. Each and every individual has to make that step alone and the best that parents can do is offer a good example and role model of what it means to be a good Muslim.
Many young people in the Muslim community do not want to practice Islam for one simple reason: they see the hypocrisy in their own parents and many Muslim community leaders. Many Muslims behave one way in the Mosque but then behave altogether differently on the outside. Dishonest dealings, lying, cheating, back-biting other Muslims and non-Muslims, abusive to family members, etc., are what many Muslim teens witness from their otherwise "pious" families" and they are disgusted, and justifiably so. "If that is Islam," they reason, "then I don't want anything to do with it." They don't see any difference between the behavior of non-Muslims, or non-practicing Muslims, and those who are calling themselves the righteous ones.
Furthermore, teens read daily in the media reports of Muslims committing atrocities against other Muslims - sometimes quoting the Quran as justification- and they frankly want to distance themselves from all of that. Can anyone blame them?
Added to all that is the fact that Muslims are consistently portrayed in a very negative light in the media and - whether they like it or not - Muslim teens become part of that stereotype and thus it is not surprising that they would attempt to hide - or downplay - their Muslim identity given the hostile environment these media reports create.
The sad reality is that there is not enough sympathetic, compassionate and culturally sensitive counselors in our community that Muslim youth can turn to for advice when they have to deal with these issues. Furthermore, Muslim parents are living in a fantasy world if they think that they can live a hypocritical life and then expect their children to become good practicing Muslims when they become adults. In my opinion, one of the main reasons - but most certainly not the only one - that Muslim youth want nothing to do with Islam is because of the un-Islamic actions of their parents and some community leaders. Another Canadian Muslim - also of Pakistani extraction - wrote me a short note and stated that "spending time with and projecting a positive approach in teaching Islam to the kids can help parents realize WHY they should practice Islam. This is something that's obligatory upon parents anyways, religiously-speaking."
I whole- heartedly agree with these sentiments.
Let us as a community wake up from this sleep and re-establish a real commitment to our faith, toss out those cultural practices which run contrary to the teachings of Islam, and start giving our children a real role-model of which they can be proud and look up to with true admiration. If we continue along the same path we are on then don't be surprised when our children say a resound no to Islam in the future.
Yahya Abdul Rahman is the Editor of Montreal Muslim News. He can be reached at: montrealnews@gmail.com
10 October 2005
7 hours 19 min
I agree
No not the gum drop buttons! – Gingy
11 May 2006
1 hour 34 min
Although I agree with the bold, I disagree with the rest.
Didn't the Prophet
say something along the lines of 'you should teach your children how to pray from the age of seven and beat them if they haven't established the prayer by the age of 10'.
Btw Muslims actually do believe that everyone is born as a Muslim, so it does make them a Muslim from birth, but I think it's their environment which decides whether or not they practice Islam.
21 August 2005
1 week 5 days
not so. They believe every one is born upon sound nature.
Gentleness and kindness were never a part of anything except that it made it beautiful, and harshness was never a part of anything except that it made it ugly.
The journey of 1000 miles must begin with a single step.
10 October 2005
7 hours 19 min
Its nothing to do with ones environment more to do with ones upbringing. Children are a reflection of their parents. Bet most of the ppl on this forum follow Islam as a result of having parents who follow it. A lot of girls i know their parents are into religion and naturally they have followed in their parents footsteps.
No not the gum drop buttons! – Gingy
24 June 2005
19 min 26 sec
Where would you class the rebels then?
Those who rebel against what is around them.
It’s a brand new day
And the sun is high
All the birds are singing
That you’re gonna die
10 October 2005
7 hours 19 min
maybe their parents were rebels in their youth or someone in their handaan. If they are rebelling against Islam then maybe the imam at the mosque or their parents havent done a good enough job at educating them.
Any reverted rebels on this forum what do you have to say on this point?
Why were you rebellious? What madde you change your wicked ways?
No not the gum drop buttons! – Gingy
28 October 2005
1 min 15 sec
why dont you ask someone younger or someone you class as part of the youth?
Indeed Allah and His angels send blessings on the Prophet; O People who Believe! Send blessings and abundant salutations upon him. Al ahzab [33,56]
4 April 2006
2 hours 53 min
i still am
MQI
Ya muqallib al Quloob, thabbit qalbee alaa deenik
O turner of the hearts, establish my heart upon your deen (Tirmidhi)
28 October 2005
1 min 15 sec
Depends what you class as the youth
Indeed Allah and His angels send blessings on the Prophet; O People who Believe! Send blessings and abundant salutations upon him. Al ahzab [33,56]
4 April 2006
2 hours 53 min
youth, hmm. i'd say 14 - 22 or maybe not
everyone will enter jannah when they are 33, which is young. so maybe thats where ones youth ends?
MQI
Ya muqallib al Quloob, thabbit qalbee alaa deenik
O turner of the hearts, establish my heart upon your deen (Tirmidhi)
25 June 2005
6 days 4 hours
Islamically...you have your 'youth' until old age and the problems that are associated with it hits you - which is usually 40.
On a general note, I marvel at how immature my brother is at 18/19, remembering that I had done so much at that age...but then I look at people in their early 20's and they have successful families, careers, buisnesses and manage large teams and dont feel that I'm 'mature' enough to do all that....and then I also know people who are pushing 40, but still act and hang around with people in their 20's.
4 April 2006
2 hours 53 min
in college, there is this convert who is 16 and married. i was like wow, you go sister!
MQI
Ya muqallib al Quloob, thabbit qalbee alaa deenik
O turner of the hearts, establish my heart upon your deen (Tirmidhi)
10 October 2005
7 hours 19 min
Age is irrelevant it is how you feel inside. Some ppl who are bare old but act proper immature while some younger ppl act mature.
No not the gum drop buttons! – Gingy
24 June 2005
2 hours 28 min
How old is the guy?
Walking through life unnoticed
Knowing that no one cares
Too consumed in their masquerade
No one sees me there
And still I'll sings
Till everything burns.
28 October 2005
1 min 15 sec
Its a girl not a guy, the clue is in the "you go sister".
Indeed Allah and His angels send blessings on the Prophet; O People who Believe! Send blessings and abundant salutations upon him. Al ahzab [33,56]
21 November 2006
2 hours 41 min
he MEANT how old was her husband.
stop trying to be such a smarty-pants
2∞&➔
4 April 2006
2 hours 53 min
19 me thinks.
MQI
Ya muqallib al Quloob, thabbit qalbee alaa deenik
O turner of the hearts, establish my heart upon your deen (Tirmidhi)
28 October 2005
1 min 15 sec
I thought he wrote this guy my apoligies to you seraphim.
Indeed Allah and His angels send blessings on the Prophet; O People who Believe! Send blessings and abundant salutations upon him. Al ahzab [33,56]
24 June 2005
3 days 20 hours
From what I've personally experienced and seen in my life, the reasons why some of the youth have fallen I think is:
1. Lack of Information - We are told by our elders to do things but sometimes the reasons aren't always fully explained e.g. 'Your not allowed to do this because it is haraam' (but they don't tell us why)
2. When we are young we get taught the qu'ran and even though we can say it arabic, most seem clueless to what they are actually saying.
3. Hypocrits - How can we follow the an imam in the mosque when he's nicking money from it (not saying all do but I've never meant a imam which I've liked, and the ppl who i have weren't proper imams, they just donated money to hold jummat prayers)
4. IMAMS - Most don't understand our culture, the problems we face today as the youth e.g. sex, drugs etc. Most can't speak english properly and assume everyone in the mosque can speak the same mother lanuage as them e.g. urdu, benglai etc, which means ppl who don't speak or understand that language miss out on the meaning of the khuthnbah (GET SOME BRITISH IMAMS IN PPL.....OR AT LEAST ONES WHO SPEAK ENGLISH).
A good example of this is when I was doing tarawiah during layat ul-qadr (inshaallah it was tht night), in the part of the prayer when we get on our knees and our foreheads touch the floor (cnt remember the name) these lil kids were running round and were kicking ppl's asses. When someone told the imam he started shotuing at them (didn;t agree with tht) and when someone asked the imam to translate what he just said into english so the kids would understand, the imam said in urdu 'Why wouldn't they understand, it's tjheir language!'.
Sorry this was so long peepz but thts how I feel on the subject, get back to me and let me know on your thoughts, safe.
The human form of genocide/
Even though ppl should only fear God/
When I'm around they still run inside/
10 October 2005
7 hours 19 min
defo agree with this point. I was home schooled and whatever the imam in pakistan taught my mum she taught me and my sisters and brothers. I have only recently invested in an english translation Qur'an and started reading it.
Now its me teaching my mum (she cant read english) 
No not the gum drop buttons! – Gingy
21 November 2006
2 hours 41 min
i am left speechless by this point.
almost everyone I know who converted to Islam, did so because of reading the Quran. But I think its important to have a tafseer too, even just a very brief one that explains contexts of different surahs and stuff.
I don't personally really like the Mohsin Khan/Hilaali version, which seems to be the most common. Its seems to be written in such an awkward way which is not enjoyable to read at ALL. Plus there are words in it which aren't even in the dictionary e.g 'tith'. I think the translators are not native English speakers. Its a shame that this is the version that the Saudis chose to print thousands of copies to distribute around mosques, because there are plenty of better ones.
2∞&➔
28 October 2005
1 min 15 sec
I agree with what mecca the lyrical berreta said, i think theres no point of reading the quran if you dont know what your reading because once you understand what your reading you realise the true beauty of the quran.
Indeed Allah and His angels send blessings on the Prophet; O People who Believe! Send blessings and abundant salutations upon him. Al ahzab [33,56]
24 June 2005
19 min 27 sec
There IS a point to reading the qur'an even if you do not understand it. You may not gain as much as when you know meanings, but you still do gain reward for it, and practice of reading it.
Secondly, you probably cannot realistically teach the qur'an with meaning to 5, 6, 7 years olds - the age when kids are taught to read the qur'an for the first time - and expect them to learn much.
Learning the meanings should be a separate course. Just like learning other things.
But for that mosques need resources (both financial and people). Some have them, some don't.
Talking personally, I totally resented having to go learn something after school time was finished. (That is also why I hardly ever did homework - I was more or less philosophically opposed to it as a concept.)
It’s a brand new day
And the sun is high
All the birds are singing
That you’re gonna die
24 June 2005
2 hours 28 min
True.
Walking through life unnoticed
Knowing that no one cares
Too consumed in their masquerade
No one sees me there
And still I'll sings
Till everything burns.
4 April 2006
2 hours 53 min
Imam Ahamd ibn Hanbal (rh) had 99 dreams about God, in one of them he asked the Almighty about all the things that draw a worshipper near to Him: Which of them was the greatest? He was told it was the recitation of Quran: "With or without comprehension?" he asked. The reply: "With or without comprehension". Not understanding the language of the Quran does not bar a person from receiving the blessings. (Purification of the Heart)
MQI
Ya muqallib al Quloob, thabbit qalbee alaa deenik
O turner of the hearts, establish my heart upon your deen (Tirmidhi)
21 November 2006
2 hours 41 min
but it DOES bar them from learning lessons from it. I don't think anyone is suggesting stopping with recitation, but just reading translation aswel (or learning arabic).
2∞&➔
10 October 2005
7 hours 19 min
which bit? What i said or Mecca Da Lyrical Berretta?
No not the gum drop buttons! – Gingy
21 November 2006
2 hours 41 min
it was Mecca Da Lyrical Berretta and then you verified the statement, suggesting it was quite common.
2∞&➔
10 October 2005
7 hours 19 min
oh right
well from my own experience i find it really hard to concentrate when reading the Qur'an in Arabic. I still do read it though and try really hard to concentrate and get my pronunciation correct.
I do agree on the point made about the english translation some of the words i dont have a clue what they mean.
No not the gum drop buttons! – Gingy
28 October 2005
1 min 16 sec
Thats what i mean, obviously the rewards are there but look at the verse in surah-rehman: where it talks about the two rivers which meet but dont cross over, if you dont understand arabic how can you learn that if you dont understand arabic? I accept reading the quran alone is rewarded but understanding the quran surely brings you more knowledge of islam. I dont know im no scholar just a view of a confused man/boy.
Indeed Allah and His angels send blessings on the Prophet; O People who Believe! Send blessings and abundant salutations upon him. Al ahzab [33,56]