Are Your Parents Out Of Touch?

Salaam

95% of Asian parents were born and brought up “back home”.

A certain way of thinking has been embedded in them from a young age. Their mentality greatly differs to the thinking of the Asian youth who have all been born and brought up in this country.

As a result culture conflicts between parents and children exist.

Nearly all the girls I speak to have serious issues with their parents. Their parents tell me that their daughter doesn’t ever talk to them-she locks herself in her room all day whilst daughters claim that their parents “don’t understand them” and that they can’t relate to their “stupid, backwards cultural way of thinking”.

Whilst I can not relate to the above, I do understand where the girls are coming from.

Parents are human at the end of the day, they are not infallible…and even if they’re wrong they still deserve to be treated with respect.

How compatible are you with your parents? Do you ever find yourself holding stuff back stuff cos you feel that they won’t understand?

Do you ever feel that they hold you back from doing what you want to do? Do you ever feel that your parents are far too “cultural”?

Or do you have a love/hate relationship with them? Sometimes they’re on a level and sometimes they infuriate you?

What kind of parent do you think you’ll be? Will you bring up your children differently to how you were brought up? And what exactly would you change?

Have they ever emotionally blackmailed you?

When forced to choose-who's happiness takes precedence in your household? Yours or your parents?

Do you understand your parents and do they understand you?

Are cultural differences to blame for the lack of understanding between parents and their children? Or is there a lot more to it?

Share your thoughts.

Wasalaam

...hmmm

How do you obey the commandment to honor they mother and father when you have such a relationship?

Emotional blackmail et cetera - sounds like a perfectly deplorable tactic...

And you cannot really respect somebody when they are doing stuff like that - and you cannot honor somebody you don't respect.

Salam

Parents are no doubt genuine in their thinking what is best for you.

However, one must remember that they are NOT always right.

After all they are human brings, and therefore, liable to make mistakes. Big mistakes.

Hence, parents' sincerity must not be confused with Truth.

They maybe sincere in their love for their children, but at certain times they are far from reality of the situation.

So, why dont they listen ?

It has nothing to do with the so called "generation gap".
Its a perennial issue. And ONLY the wise will escape:-

Parents tend to ASSUME that a particular thing will bring HARM to their child.

Hence you see them acting out of this IMAGINED fear.

Often times it is this fear that makes the parents completely deaf to the CRIES of their children.

Thus are lives ruined.

Omrow

Parents most of the time know what is best.

Children are too arrogant. Refer to their parents in extremely rude language which today is considered the norm by muslim youth.

Children torture their parents and think that cos they the kids they can do whatever and their parents will still love them. True th parents ins MOST cases will always love their kids but causing even one tiny munite iota of pain to those parents who nurtured you is enought to destroy all your good deeds.

Most of the time that kids argue with parents it is the kids fault. Even the way some people say about their parents like they are ''backward'', their live in a ''cultural time warp'' etc is of the utmost disrespect. Truth is parents most often have grown up with a sense of values that do not exist in this country. Kids are effected by this environment and take it upon themselves to teach their parents about what is modern and what is normal.

This is rong and evil. In a hadeeth we have been told to the effect that you and your wealth belong to your parents. Only when parental commands contradict explicit and obligatory divine commandments arre we allowed to disboey them, even then we cant go around saying my parents are ignorant village dwellers, my parents are grave worshipper, my parents are deviants etc. ALL such statements are evil. Even if the parents practice religious deviancy, or are ignorant of basic religious laws - to explicitly say such a thing abt them is against the divine command of respect for your parents.

In short, this medievalist thinks that parents in th most part are right, kids are rong and arrogant and illmannerred and need to learn respect and courtesy and correct etiquette.

Ya ALLAH Madad.
Haq Chaar Yaar

many parents are backwards and so is this weirdo who posted above me

most of my mates always complain about this

so does one cousin of mine

Paki parents come to this country and bring up their children in the West and then complain that their kids aint "Paki enough"

IMO most parents are out of touch

in my family my parents are cool-they on a level

but the rest of my extended famoly are out of touch

being too "cultural" aint a cuss its a fact

Salaam

Good point Omrow.

Its true that parents are not always right…even if they think they are…they’re not infallible…they too are only human.

Many parents are getting used to this parenting thing via trial and error (that’s why the eldest always has it the hardest).

And however they’re like they still deserve respect at the end of they day.

If parents raise their kids in accordance to the teachings of Islam, and not in accordance to the customs of their village “back home” which contradicts the teachings of Islam…most parent-children conflicts would hopefully diminish.

Wasalaam

"Medievalist" wrote:
Parents most of the time know what is best.

Children are too arrogant. Refer to their parents in extremely rude language which today is considered the norm by muslim youth.
.

sweeping generalisations :roll:

Salam

I was talking about the nature of the cause of the conflict between parents and their children.

Children's behaviour is not under discussion.

Omrow

their behaviour SHOULD be under discussion

if a kid is naughty he/she deserves parents who are strict and firm

if the kid is good parents should back off

Salam

Then please start a thread on the subject.

Omrow