Hanging Out In Graveyards

Salaam

When I was in college sometimes my mates used to spend their time hanging out in the graveyard…mainly cos it was so “dead” and no one ever went there. It was a good place to go and talk…

I never went with them mainly because I’ve always found the idea of laughing and joking around graves extremely disrespectful. Even today, sometimes when I’m passing a graveyard I shut up if I’m talking to someone and walk past quickly.

Every year I do my dads head in to take me to the graveyard during Shab e Baraat, but he never does.

Does anyone from here ever visit graves aside from in funerals? What do you do when you get there?

When do you think is the best time to go? Should you go by yourself or in a group? What things should you refrain from doing?

And what am I supposed to be thinking? Can I believe that the souls can hear me?

In what way can the dead benefit from me? And is it OK to visit non Muslim graves?

I know that visiting graves isn’t that common, graveyards are nearly always empty….even though we are told to visit graves visit them as it reminds us of death.

My family from back home used to tell me that women shouldn’t visit graves cos the dead have x-ray vision?! So please also explain/dispel all misconceptions as well…..

I know this is a morbid topic, but I would like to hear everyone’s views on this topic.

Wasalaam

ladies are usually discouraged from going to graveyards in Islam. but if necessary then we must. i went to my fathers grave in Pakistan last year

it is said that souls can hear and see and usually see right through clothing that thought always stays with me and i never visit graveyards

"almas" wrote:
ladies are usually discouraged from going to graveyards in Islam. but if necessary then we must. i went to my fathers grave in Pakistan last year

it is said that souls can hear and see and usually see right through clothing that thought always stays with me and i never visit graveyards

Wy are you discouraged? IMO everyone is encouraged to go. It reminds you of what is to come.

"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.

no honestly we are discourged its always been the way. and although i never go i do think about death many times a day

"almas" wrote:
no honestly we are discourged its always been the way. and although i never go i do think about death many times a day

Its probably the family that discourages it (probably on safety grounds). As far as i know there is no Islamic edict discouraging it.

"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.

the reason women are discouraged from entering the graveyard (or forbidden according to some scholars) is due to an interpretation of the hadith in which Hassan ibn Thabit narrated that the Prophet (s.a.w) cursed women who frequently visit graves (cant find exact ref. for this at the mo). also because they are more prone to wailing loudly, which is completely forbidden, and torments the soul of the dead person.

However, there are many more hadith which support women's right to visit a grave, for e.g.
Anas ibn Maalik related that once the Prophet (s.a.w) passed by a woman crying beside a grave and said to her, "Fear Allah and be patient."
(Sahih Al-Bukhari, vol.2, no.372)

the common interpretation is that he (s.a.w) did not criticise the woman for sitting beside the grave, and whatever he thus approved is proof of it's permissibility.

personally, i feel my life is so hectic that i barely get a chance to stop and think properly about death. the graveyard is in stark contrast to this - its so quiet, and one feels as tho time itself has stopped; a great reminder of death.

[size=9]I NEVER WORE IT BECAUSE OF THE TALIBAN, MOTHER. I LIKE THE [b]MODESTY[/b] AND [b]PROTECTION[/b] IT AFFORDS ME FROM THE EYES OF MEN.[/size] [url=, X-Men[/url]

"almas" wrote:

it is said that souls can hear and see and usually see right through clothing that thought always stays with me and i never visit graveyards

I've heard that too-but I'm sure it aint tru

i'm sure dead people in their gravs have better things to do then bog at girls

seems-evryone should visit graves

i used to have a friend who used to meet guys in the graveyard cos no one goes there so there's less chance of her being clocked by some aunty

personally graveyards give me the creeps

Im not sure how true it is that the dead souls of people hav x-ray visions etc... but IMO thats a load of 'Doo-doo'; why do dead people need to look thru the clothes of the living? They're dead.. they'd have moved into heaven or hell by now and are either being tortured or chilling out.

There a HUGE grave yard opposite where i work, its always deserted and it has an eerie feeling about it... but then a load of dead people are buried there... ofcourse its gonna have an eerie sort of feeling to it.
My explaination theres a lot of sorrow in grave yards and maybe its affected the physical surrounding somehow? i dunno... just me thinking out loud.

I know from personal experience that your supposed to visit the graves of relatives (as opposed to a strangers grave coz that would be just 2 weird) and maybe read a few verses of the Quran to them... i cant remember which ones exactly, i'll find out if you want but basicly its supposed to help the souls of the people pass into heaven (if they havent all ready... who knows whose gonna go where?... so i suppose the dead souls could use all the help they can get).

Back in BLACK

"Seraph" wrote:
They're dead.. they'd have moved into heaven or hell by now and are either being tortured or chilling out.

actually the dead also await the Day of Judgement. they are in the transitional period of Barzakh (which literally means 'barrier' in Arabic). When Israfil blows the trumpet signifying the end of this world, the dead will be resurrected from their graves to be Judged, and thereafter 'moved into heaven or hell'.

anyways, i ges that^ is kinda off-topic; it mite b worth having an entire thread on this whole theme of death, resurrection and Judgement Day - its a fairly complex topic.

[size=9]I NEVER WORE IT BECAUSE OF THE TALIBAN, MOTHER. I LIKE THE [b]MODESTY[/b] AND [b]PROTECTION[/b] IT AFFORDS ME FROM THE EYES OF MEN.[/size] [url=, X-Men[/url]

1. According to our Teachers it is forbidden for women to attend the graveyard. There are differences of opinion but those who note should note that Maulwi Ahmad Reza discouraged women from attending gravyards and shrines.

2. The story that dead have x-ray vision is baseless. I think some1 was having a laugh cos i have heard this theory before. Why would they be able to see through clothing? If that was the case then men also shouldnt go cos men are not allowed to uncover certain parts even before other men.

3. Barzakh is an amazing topic. Hopefully some1 will start a thread on this topic?

Become obedient to the Chief, Muhammad salallahu alayhi wa sallam, so ALL chiefs become obedient to you.

"AbdusSalamBiharwi" wrote:
1. According to our Teachers it is forbidden for women to attend the graveyard. There are differences of opinion but those who note should note that Maulwi Ahmad Reza discouraged women from attending gravyards and shrines.

is that the teachings of brewli's? Are u a brewli?

did Ahmad Reza make an exception for the grave of the Prohet (pbuh) and the Sahaba's who are next to him?

"MuslimSisLilSis" wrote:

is that the teachings of brewli's? Are u a brewli?

did Ahmad Reza make an exception for the grave of the Prohet (pbuh) and the Sahaba's who are next to him?

1. I am not a barelwi.

2. All i heard from a barelwi alim in my cousins village is that Maulwi of Bareilly discouraged women from the graveyard, dont know any more so cant comment.

3. I am NOT a barelwi

Become obedient to the Chief, Muhammad salallahu alayhi wa sallam, so ALL chiefs become obedient to you.

I dont think we have any brewli's here so his teaching (if he said that) wont matter

but the most of the sunni scholars dont hold this opinion

"MuslimSisLilSis" wrote:
is there anythingwrong with visiting the graves of non-Muslims?

yes. We have been forbidden to pray for dead non-muslims. They are beyond help.

"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.

Well no-one goes to play footie...

"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.

"Admin" wrote:
Well no-one goes to play footie...

Remembering death is one of the main reason why some go to visit graveyards

and I'm sure a person can remember death in a Muslim and non Muslim graveyard

We used to use one as a shortcut between lectures at Uni...

"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.

Mr Admin u should respect the dead

u mustnt walk over graves unless u absolutly HAVE to

"MuslimSister" wrote:
Salaam

When I was in college sometimes my mates used to spend their time hanging out in the graveyard…mainly cos it was so “dead” and no one ever went there. It was a good place to go and talk…

Wasalaam

Strange as it may sound, some people do find the "creepiness" of graveyards appealing. The same way some kids go looking round derelict buildings.

Where these friends of yours 'Goths' by any chance?

"Jack Dante" wrote:

Strange as it may sound, some people do find the "creepiness" of graveyards appealing. The same way some kids go looking round derelict buildings.

Where these friends of yours 'Goths' by any chance?

Lol-No my friends were not goths...I've never really had any Goth friends.

My mates were just a bunch of Asian girls who loved to hang around in graveyards cos it was a private place where no one ever goes....

"Admin" wrote:
"MuslimSisLilSis" wrote:
is there anythingwrong with visiting the graves of non-Muslims?

yes. We have been forbidden to pray for dead non-muslims. They are beyond help.


as lilsis mentioned in reply to admin's post up there^, is it not possible to remember death by seeing a sea of gravestones before u (even though they happen to be of non-Muslims)?

when i was doing my A-level in English Literature, one of our modules was in War Lit so we had a trip to France and Austria to see the main WW1-related sites. trust me, visiting those cemeteries and standing among thousands of gravestones really shakes u up. Sad

(as a side note: if u are also a War-Lit fan, visiting the battlefields u know the history behind is an amazing, and spooky (!) experience; i'd recommend it!)

[size=9]I NEVER WORE IT BECAUSE OF THE TALIBAN, MOTHER. I LIKE THE [b]MODESTY[/b] AND [b]PROTECTION[/b] IT AFFORDS ME FROM THE EYES OF MEN.[/size] [url=, X-Men[/url]

speaking about recommendations . . .

1. When going to a graveyard go and sit by the fresh graves cos the graves which have elaborate tombstones and are built up do not remind of death. The scent of burning incence and the view of beautiful flowers is not what the grave is about. Sit by the fresh graves which only have soil on them, or better sit by the desolate graves which have no edifice on them. PEER INTO A FRESH GRAVE when no1 is present. <<<< that is scary.

2. From all the graveyards that I ahve visited ( and thats not a lot ) Jannatul Baqee was the most blessed. The blessings that descend on that graveyard could be felt by even an evil sinner like me. Also the kachi qabr - unbaked? graves - remind of death particularly the ones which are collapsing. Jannatul Baqee sit by Sayyidina Uthman.

I swear by ALLAH that I felt such spiritual mercies descending upon me when I sat by Sayyidina Uthman because unfortunately vrey few people spend more than 3-4 minutes there. By ALLAH's grace I managed to stay there for long period of time relatively. I truly feel that Sayyidina Uthman directed some of His attention towards me.

3. Women will not be permitted in Jannatul Baqee but ALLAH makes more reward for women to remain at home so women should not be dejected that they cannot visit Sahabah Karam in Madinah Munawarrah.

Become obedient to the Chief, Muhammad salallahu alayhi wa sallam, so ALL chiefs become obedient to you.

"AbdusSalamBiharwi" wrote:

3. Women will not be permitted in Jannatul Baqee but ALLAH makes more reward for women to remain at home so women should not be dejected that they cannot visit Sahabah Karam in Madinah Munawarrah.

They used to be allowed.

I did my Umrah when I was about 12/13 and I remember visiting Jannatul Baqee with dad...I did my Hajj last year and they had put such a high fence around the graveyard and forbade women from entering...the fence was so high that women couldnt even look over even if they wished.

"MuslimSister" wrote:
"AbdusSalamBiharwi" wrote:

3. Women will not be permitted in Jannatul Baqee but ALLAH makes more reward for women to remain at home so women should not be dejected that they cannot visit Sahabah Karam in Madinah Munawarrah.

They used to be allowed.

I did my Umrah when I was about 12/13 and I remember visiting Jannatul Baqee with dad...I did my Hajj last year and they had put such a high fence around the graveyard and forbade women from entering...the fence was so high that women couldnt even look over even if they wished.

Thats cuz some women get very emotional and weep beyond imagination which is obviously understandable but it dont mean they have to build big fences so we cant see nothin at all!

"angel" wrote:

Thats cuz some women get very emotional and weep beyond imagination which is obviously understandable but it dont mean they have to build big fences so we cant see nothin at all!

i think very few woman are the hysterical/emotional sort-

they are stronger then they think-esp the Saudi women since they have to put up with them arrogant Arabs

them saudi men have serious issues

Salaam

We are encouraged to visit graves as it reminds us of death.

This is for men AND women.

It is unfair to ban women on the basis of something that only a few women do.

The Saudi government are big on Biddah…by banning women from visiting graveyards they are committing such a huge biddah themselves, cos the Holy Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wa Sallam (Peace and Blessings be upon him) allowed women to visit graves.

Wasalaam

"MuslimSister" wrote:
Salaam

We are encouraged to visit graves as it reminds us of death.

This is for men AND women.

It is unfair to ban women on the basis of something that only a few women do.

Yeh get your point, totally agree

For your information women visiting graveyards is a disputed issue.

Major Ulama have difference of opinion regarding women visiting the graveyard so to casually dismiss the saudi ban on women entering the graveyard is harsh and an aggression.

Rather those who think women should be allowed to visit the graves should express themselves without exceeding the limits and maligning the saudi government in this issue.

Making blanket statements is one of the things ppl criticise me for, perhaps thet should look to themselves as well as rectifying my evils?

Become obedient to the Chief, Muhammad salallahu alayhi wa sallam, so ALL chiefs become obedient to you.

Salaam

I didn’t have an issue with the Saudi government in the past.

However, they seem to be getting stricter and more unreasonable…..

They used to allow women to visit graveyards… and this was within the last ten years.

The evidence that suggests that it is allowed for women to visit graveyards is present, and I’m sure that they are aware of it.

The view that it is forbidden for women to visit graveyards is the view of the minority.

Wasalaam

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