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ladies first
so after u omro :twisted:
Did this study take into account other factors that can stimulate a persons mind and thus help her to be a better mother? I mean the study you mentioned looked at mothers working part time performing better as housewives and mothers. But what about mothers who study part time, do voluntary work part time, do islamic studies part time, arrange dawah activities part time etc. There's many other things that can fill a mothers time to ensure she doesn't get bored being a 24 hr housewife/mother, these haven't been accounted for have they?
I agree part time work can help. It's just about getting out the house really, moving away from the mundane chores.
salaam
i totally agree with the concept of a married woman with kids working part time. what's the point of wasting so many years at uni, doing a degree you enjoy and then not doing anything with it.
there are so many asian women in my community (narrow minded) who say its completely selfish for a woman to work when she SHOULD be at home looking after the house and kids. cant one get the balance between these things? work part time, still look after kids and house... am sure its possible, loads of women doing it out there...cummon ladies...
loads of women are doing it with difficulty. It works for some, not for others. Others are probably more content studying for example. I know a lot of mothers who choose to do alimah courses part time rather than earning money part time, and this can be more demanding than work, coz you bring your studies home with you. For the most part work is left at work.
I know another mother on the other hand who works full time coz she is forced to, but complains that she doesn't get enough time with her child. So i duno about this word compromise. It's not always about compromise, sometimes you're forced to sacrifice precious time with kids for other things.
It depends on what you want in life, work is great for some not for others.
What about mothers who "choose" to stay at home and be full time mothers even with their university education behind them. Do you consider them narrow minded or foolish? Personally I think it's a tough call to make, and I think very highly of them. It's no easy job, specially if you have more than one small child.
Salam
There are two types of mothers:
One who take their children to Paradise; and the other, who even on this Earth make life Hell for their offspring.
Anyway,
I think good women should be permitted to do whatever they want.
Loose women do that regardless.
This is dedicated to our Revival's mystic binger:
I say let the virtuous lady fly, free and high
Know that she can reach the sky
Hinder her not in her goal
Lest ye destroy her Noble Soul
Omrow
its possible for housewives to have a 'healthy/positive state of mind' too ya know.
[size=9]I NEVER WORE IT BECAUSE OF THE TALIBAN, MOTHER. I LIKE THE [b]MODESTY[/b] AND [b]PROTECTION[/b] IT AFFORDS ME FROM THE EYES OF MEN.[/size] [url=http://www.adherents.com/lit/comics/Dust.html]Dust, X-Men[/url]
Salaam
I firmly believe that a woman should do what she wants. Every woman is an individual and is raised to think in a certain way…
It bugs me that too many people claim to be an expert regarding what a woman should/shouldn’t be doing.
Some are happier being totally focused on their career, some are more than happy to be housewives, and some like to work part time whilst others rather be involved in community work.
For me personally, ever since I was a small child I’ve wanted to do one thing only. Teach.
I’ve spent most of my life in education and am now one year away from becoming a qualified teacher. So for me, NOT teaching Islam in the future is not even an option.
Doing nothing but cooking/cleaning/shopping and mundane tasks bores me …yet when I’m working/in Uni etc I do all the household chores happily.
But like I said above, every woman is different…some CAN find fulfilment in the above.
I can't.
However, it is a must that a woman doesn’t place her family in jeopardy by pursuing whatever it is that she wants to pursue…kids needs their mother, and they should always come first. My mum lives a very active life, teaching/learning Islam…10years ago she worked as a nurse cos it was a very rewarding job…. but she’s always worked around her children’s/husband school/work…
And because she’s always so happy and positive….there’s always peace in our household.
In order for myself to feel fulfilled and to be of a healthy state of mind for my family I intend to always be teaching/working for Islam part time.
And Omrow-you crack me up-lol
Wasalaam
I'm not sure what i'll do, i'll reserve my opinion till I have a screaming baby that's totally dependent upon me, then i'll let you know if i wana work or study, reckon i'll be crying for some sleep and nothing else. By the horror stories i've heard it's very demanding looking after a child especially in the early years :? But evens o i'm remaining positive.
u tell em girl
thats liberty for u
i didnt waste my whole life and daddy's money to sit at home for the rest of my life
there's more to life then keeping ur windows spanking clean
whilst i don't intend to work/study in future
I will be a shopholic
I suppose like MS said its up to the individual. Since I am not workin at the mo I feel somethin is lacking but since i am studying my mind is occupied. When one doesn't use their brain much they become lazy. I would like to think I will be very occupied in work and the commuity in future even when I am married with children.
If a woman loves doin housework then thats great but I dont think she should be forced to think that making children and cleanin the house is all she should do!
Even though I would be graduating from University next year I do not expect to work ever. It will be my husbands responsibilty to cater for all my financial demands. Thats why girls should use their brains and never settle for anyone who brings home less than a five figure pay slip.
Its not cheap looking after a woman and her demands.
hi keeping windows and house clean is very important to me....dnt mind doing that. but also want to do a lot of other things in my life alonside these domestic RESPONSIBILITIES. lol shopholic where will the money come from? husband only pays for necessities NOT random "treat myself shopping sprees". that can only be done with your own money-which means you have to work lol
It's true that it can not be easy catering for the financial demands of a woman...so why not seek to make life easier for others by being working just enough so that you can at least buy yourself what you want?
It doesnt feel good to ask money from other, even your loved ones.
Ever since I started Uni my bills have increased SO much...I can't work cos of my hectic timetable and cos I hate asking dad for money, I'm going through a poor patch at the moment. :?
You act like you know so much about Islam yet you overlook the fact that in Islam it is the job of the men to provide for their women. If a man can not look after the women in his home then that is his disability.
ramz have u heard that song by Kayne?
"I aint saying she's a gold digger...but she aint messing with no broke nigger"
Men should work and take care of the basic needs of the family, a roof over the head, food on the table and maybe one or two luxury items but it’s not his duty to pay for an extravagant lifestyle if he cannot afford it.
When/If I have kids I’ll definitely go back to work once they are at school. I don’t like having too much time on my hands, its boring, and these days you need another income to take the pressure off.
lol looking after women in terms of islam involves providing the neccessities not the extra things a woman may desire. its their job to provide food and clothing etc, not pay for the expenses of when the woman goes out with her freinds for example....that can only be done if you have your own money- personally that's the only thing that i wouldn't feel guilty about, its my money he didnt have to work for it so i can spend it how i like and where i like....lol. men have a lot of pressures its not just about the wife its about his family, the house car and kids etc.
sisters tell me your situation when you're married that's all i'll say....
with the exception of two aunties of mine
EVERY married woman with kids in my entire family does something other than keep her windows spick and span
be it part time work/community work or Islamic work
thats girl power for u
does it change? what's your view. i dont think my opinions will change when am married. will stay the same. i love my own independance, working for myself, wouldn't want to rely totally on my husband.
i think she means it depends on what kind of a man u marry
some don't like their women to do anything other then keep the windows clean
yeh i know i keep on banging on and on about windows-its only cos my bedroom windows are VERY dirty atm
does depend on who u marry.
the job suits MEN
lol men are the window cleaners down my end, never seen a female window cleaner or a female dustbin cleaner lol
no offence but some of you sisters are being surprisingly patronising towards women who through choice or lack of become full time housewives and mothers. Maybe you don't realise but you're kind of making out it's some menial degrading job? I mean keeping windows spick and span and cleaning the cooker is that all you think of me and my mother and all mothers out there?
What i meant when i said "tell me when you're married", is that once you're married it's not only yourself you'll have to consider. Do you know 100% that you won't have someone else for example to look after?
The first year of marriage is usually a struggle, specially if you're not rich. So if you want to work and have a child, well unless you have good friends or parents to babysit you can forget working. Creches don't come cheap.
What if you have elderly or disabled in laws to look after how would it be possible to work? Yes it's easy to say i'll do this i'll do that but wwe all have to make compromises.
To be honest i'd be happy if i could just go out and relax knowing i don't have to worry about someone burning the house, or falling down the stairs while i'm out. But i doubt i'll be able to do that for a long time. I don't want strangers in my house doing the care work for me, even if it's just for a few hours. I've heard too many horror stories and it just doesn't feel right.
I'd be happy doing a lot of things other than working. The small things in life which many of you sisters have. Enjoy them while you can. Just having some time alone is a luxury to me these days.
As for cleaning windows me and hubby do it together. He goes up the ladder. I do the lower windows. Doesn't bother me at all since i used to help my mother do hers when i was single. Who says it's a womans job?
Actually i like cleaning find it therapeutic. I can't stand dirt, my obsessions with dirt mean i've always kept things spick and span. Mother dearest misses me now. No one cleaned like i did forget mr muscle!
actually the argument is regarding CHOICE
it shud be up to the woman if she decides to be a full time mother or wishes to work
if she wants to work/study
good for her
if she wants to cook and clean
good for her
in this thread u have some who wish to marry a sugar daddy, some who wish to work to provide for their own luxery's, and some who want to be full time mothers
no one shud impose their way of life to another-
a certain way of life may work for one but not for another
i don't want to spend the rest of my life only cooking n cleaning-thats me
u dont want to work-and u love cleaning-thats u
we're ALL entitled to our opinion and we ALL have a right to decide how we wish to live our life
ah but i never said i never want to work
I never imposed my views on anyone. I'm merely saying work is not the only fulfilling thing for women. Women can be satisfied doing other things as already suggested, and that doesn't just mean housework.
Yes women have choices up to them what they do. i just think some of you sisters are demeaning the role of wife, mother, housewife, carer and making out being a working woman is a superior role. I beg to differ.
As for wanting a sugar daddy well those sort of women are shallow, but if a man is going to be stupid enough to marry such a girl good riddance.
some can and some cant
i didnt intend to come across as such
if i did-just to clarify
IMO no job is more superior than being a mother
being a mother shud always come first
but i just believe that a woman is capable of doing a lot MORE then being a good mother
Well said.
It’s the same even when you’re not married…whilst I expect dad to pay for my food/travel/clothes etc.
I never ask him for another pair of shoes/handbag/scarf/dress or yet another Islamic book nor do I expect him to pay for me when I eat out…etc etc
These are luxuries and not necessities, and it’s not nice to ask…esp if you know your father/husband is not loaded.
Part time work for women cover these luxuries…it also keep her mentally active/healthy especially for girls like me who get bored very easily and are only happy when they’re busy…
Your very self righteous. In Islam a man has to provide for his wife which includes everything that she needs. Including designer handbags, her manicures , shopping expenditure and everything else. If you see that as being shallow then you need to get your head checked out.
A husband must provide for his wifes "needs" not her whims, and excesses. If he can "afford" to provide for the extras then as long as he is happy to do so he should. But that's not obligatory upon him.
Manicures and and designer handbags aren't needs they're extras. If a woman isn't happy with the basics her husband is giving her she's not worth marrying. Marriage is about compromise, give and take. In Islam women don't have husbands just to "take take take" from them. It's fine if he can afford the luxuries but a huge problem if he can't.
How does that make me self righteous or shallow? I'm not the one demanding Designer handbags as if they were a basic need that i would die without.
There's no need for insulting me either i've been respectful towards you even if our views differ. This sort of name calling is really pathetic.
Yeah that post of yours is very respectful. Your double standards is pathetic.
Everyone has different "needs" some people think that having a roof over their head more than enough whilst some women would demand hot money for their baths. Some do not care about their nails and others think that a monthly manicure is a neccessity.
I didn't demand "Designer handbags as if they were a basic need that i would die without" I used it as an example, so don't you dare put words in my mouth.
[EDIT BY ADMIN]
Ramz be careful about language. Very fine line there that should not be crossed...
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