REVIVAL FORUM....DATING SERVICE?

recently my younger brother has been on the phone continuiously talking about unethical things with another muslim girl, along with this behaviour he has been disrespecting his parents and his sisters over her

me and my family have always tried 2 follow Islam and our parents have taught us about the rights and wrongs of mixing with the opposite sex

i was shocked to learn that he had infact met this 'muslim' girl on this forum. he had posted a topic and was contacted through this site by her.

their 'relationship' started on this forum...how can this be right?

isn't this a relgious website, when did it become a place to 'chat up' members of the opposite sex and commit sin?

i would like to know your thoughts, am i just blowing this out of proportion or am i right in thinking that it has not been made clear enough what this forum is for?

Hello BabyD,

The forum is for discussing islamic youth issues, not chasing whimsicle romantic fantasies.

We've had issues with this in the past, and because of these prior unfortunate experiences the general consensus is that any kind of overt solicitation must be zapped on sight. Beyond that and the occasional warning very little else can be done from the forums' angle. Obviously we don't condone what your brother is doing, but we can't force him to stop. Especially if he is doing this privately, and it sounds like he is. PMs are not regulated as far as I know for logistical reasons, and nobody would be idiotic enough to openly announce they are involved with anyone on the forum.

I suspect if you make a request you could have your brother banned, or alternately you could take away his internet access. I'd imagine that if he is a regular he will read this thread, realize he is caught, get spooked and cut it out.

If not than he probably should, because if he did some simple math he would realize [b]multiple angry women that you live with[/b] (mom + sisters) [b]trump one angry woman that you don't[/b] [i][b]any day of the week[/b][/i]. Trust me - I just raised staff salaries because of the heat.

Best of luck

"BabyD" wrote:
recently my younger brother has been on the phone continuiously talking about unethical things with another muslim girl, along with this behaviour he has been disrespecting his parents and his sisters over her

me and my family have always tried 2 follow Islam and our parents have taught us about the rights and wrongs of mixing with the opposite sex

i was shocked to learn that he had infact met this 'muslim' girl on this forum. he had posted a topic and was contacted through this site by her.

their 'relationship' started on this forum...how can this be right?

isn't this a relgious website, when did it become a place to 'chat up' members of the opposite sex and commit sin?

i would like to know your thoughts, am i just blowing this out of proportion or am i right in thinking that it has not been made clear enough what this forum is for?

How about you firstly ask your parents to keep an eye on what your brother gets up to? (how young is he?)

secondly this forum is for muslims to discuss Islam and in no way does it promote chatting up the opposite sex, if this story is true (I would like to give the sister in question the benefit of doubt) then it is an agreement between your brother and that girl. Those who take of this forum cannot posibly know what your bro and that girl talk about and nor do they promote chatting up people! Its a mixed forum if people cant keep themselves to themselves that's their problem.

Lastly, I wish people would take responsibility for their actions.

P.S. Welcome!

I don't mean to sound harsh but it's nice to research before making statements like the above.

[color=indigo][b]Whats ya bro called?[/b][/color]

"BabyD" wrote:
i would like to know your thoughts, am i just blowing this out of proportion or am i right in thinking that it has not been made clear enough what this forum is for?

There is no Revival Dating service, and anyone trying to use The Revival for such things will be dealt with as needed.

I am sure it is against the rules, (can someone check please. I may need to add this there...) or it should be. I wrote the rules and put in all things I could think of.

Just checked and this is not addressed explicitly. I will add it.

"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.

i find it difficult to belive that this kinda stuff goes on here

yes this sorta stuff USED to go on here

but that wasnt a undercover thing as the couple involved werent exactly shy of broadcasting their feelings for all to know :roll:

if ur bro likes to give out his number to random girls on the net

he shouldnt be allowed on the net

lol your sister had an e-admirer for a little while there. I'm surprised we don't harass her about that more often...

What is with this place?! It seems like we've had a fair number of creepy romances we've had to swat down. Is it seriously that scary to meet people face to face these days?

I think we need a "swoon" smiley.

Lol

"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.

"Don Karnage" wrote:

I think we need a "swoon" smiley.

we had this disgusting 'blowing kisses' smiley in the old OLD forums back in the day

we need no such thing

and BabyD

the girls here have standards Dirol

i have a feeling ur making this up

romance on the revival forum??? :shock:

live and let live!!!!!!!

"peacegirl" wrote:
romance on the revival forum??? :shock:

not likely... this must have been yonks ago coz i certainly dont remember it (and ive been here for ages).

Back in BLACK

Dear BabyD,

assalamu alaykum :--)

I can understand that you may be quite unsettled and troubled by what you have discovered about your younger brother, but (respectfully) i do not think the blame should be placed on the revival forum. I have only been here a short while, but from what i have seen, this forum does not promote and/or encourage zina activities which are contrary to islamic ideals.

We could argue that this forum is to blame, and at fault, but this has no more value than the argument that the entire internet is bad (because in it lies a whole host of immoral sites/activities as well as moral ones) Wink

Islamically, each individual is responsible for their own actions, and the repercussions that result from those actions. The Revival forums should not be held responsible/accountable (directly, indirectly or consequentially) for any moral/immoral actions of individuals. The liability sits with the two individuals involved, and they should acknowledge their own errs and responsibilities.

In fact, the burden of proof is upon you to show us that this forum is to blame.

May Allah shine sweet faith upon you this day and times beyond. May your heart be enriched with peace, and may your home be blessed always. Ameen.

Not being funny or rude

but have you asked your brother whether he would like to marry this girl....if he's old enough that is.

Good point. No sense losing a brother when you can gain a sister-in-law. One mustn't discount redirecting their mutual interest into more acceptable channels.

"Don Karnage" wrote:
Good point. No sense losing a brother when you can gain a sister-in-law. One mustn't discount redirecting their mutual interest into more acceptable channels.

:evil: a sister-in-law like her??? id rather gauge out my own eyeballs...

i think everyones got me wrong here, i wasn't having a go at the site, or pointing out that its a bad influence on people, i was just venting sum anger, on how people can be soooo......urghhhhhh!

i assure this girl is no ordinary girl, she's literally poison, n she's warped his mind, and yes i know before you say it, 'it does take 2 to tango'

we've done everything possible to stop their 'realtionship' from 'devolping', but it seems as if her mother is in on it as well!

how can parents encourage such behaviour from der children is beyond my knowledge!

"MuslimBro" wrote:
Not being funny or rude

but have you asked your brother whether he would like to marry this girl....if he's old enough that is.

apparently she just wants to be 'friends' until her parents decide to marry her off to one of the relatives

i barely even know this girl and yet i feel murderous even thinkin about the havoc she has caused in my family

i just wish girls like her would stop and think about someone apart from themselves for once :evil:

"BabyD" wrote:
"Don Karnage" wrote:
Good point. No sense losing a brother when you can gain a sister-in-law. One mustn't discount redirecting their mutual interest into more acceptable channels.

:evil: a sister-in-law like her??? id rather gauge out my own eyeballs...

i think everyones got me wrong here, i wasn't having a go at the site, or pointing out that its a bad influence on people, i was just venting sum anger, on how people can be soooo......urghhhhhh!

i assure this girl is no ordinary girl, she's literally poison, n she's warped his mind, and yes i know before you say it, 'it does take 2 to tango'

we've done everything possible to stop their 'realtionship' from 'devolping', but it seems as if her mother is in on it as well!

how can parents encourage such behaviour from der children is beyond my knowledge!

:shock:

I uhh...

Okay well first off don't guage out your eyeballs - I understand that's rather painful and besides they might come in handy some day.

Next, say something to your father - if your brother isn't listening to you and your sisters then he will listen to them. And if he doesn't listen to them then your family might have more serious problems than a girl.

its pointless, my dad evn took him 2 pakistan for a while and she kept pestering him over there on the phone telling him 2 kik up a fuss and come back 2 britain....which evidently he did by her say so... :evil:

i know the problem is both of them, but how on earth do you stop something like this??

we've tried absolutely everything Cray 2

How come you are SOooooo angry? This story sounds more like a bollywood film !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"FHPE" wrote:
How come you are SOooooo angry? This story sounds more like a bollywood film !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

because they've caused so much upset for the rest of the family, i don't think ive ever met 2 more selfish people in my life...

i think most of the family r on their tethers end as to what to do next

urrrrgggggggghhhhhhhh! :evil:

"BabyD" wrote:
its pointless, my dad evn took him 2 pakistan for a while and she kept pestering him over there on the phone telling him 2 kik up a fuss and come back 2 britain....which evidently he did by her say so... :evil:

i know the problem is both of them, but how on earth do you stop something like this??

we've tried absolutely everything Cray 2

Ahh no cheer up, you haven't tried everything I'm sure of it. You've only exhausted your "nice" solutions.

Embarrass her - spread rumors about her questionable virtue, talk to her parents, tell everybody in the mosque what she is doing, record all their phone conversations and distribute them to everybody you and she knows.

Make life difficult for her to continue contacting him.

[color=indigo][b]This all seems a lil too fake.. no offence. Well if what your seying is true BabyD why don't you tell us the name of this girl and your bro.[/b][/color]

"Noor" wrote:
[color=indigo][b]This all seems a lil too fake.. no offence. Well if what your seying is true BabyD why don't you tell us the name of this girl and your bro.[/b][/color]

id love to name and shame but i dont know her username on this forum, her names ******

and my brothers name is ******

keep ur eye on the front page headlines....i mite possible be on der going down as a serial killer :evil:

[b]Edit: naming and shaming does not achieve much. feel free to supply the info you have to Admin.
- The Moderate Mod[/b]

If you don't know either of their screen names here then how can you be sure that there is any connection to the Revival forum?

"Don Karnage" wrote:
If you don't know either of their screen names here then how can you be sure that there is any connection to the Revival forum?

[color=indigo][b]
There isn't, babyd is making it up.[/b][/color]

[/quote]

Ahh no cheer up, you haven't tried everything I'm sure of it. You've only exhausted your "nice" solutions.

Embarrass her - spread rumors about her questionable virtue, talk to her parents, tell everybody in the mosque what she is doing, record all their phone conversations and distribute them to everybody you and she knows.

Make life difficult for her to continue contacting him.[/quote]

considering she's not from my area thats pretty difficult to do...however i will be starting uni in sept in the same area she lives in...im going to access the pictures of herself that she's been sending to him and post them around....till then im going to do everything in my power to stop it

i mean we've even phoned the girls house and written a letter there...she really is a nasty piece of work...but she's obviously not met me yet :evil:

"Noor" wrote:
[color=indigo][b]This all seems a lil too fake.. no offence. Well if what your seying is true BabyD why don't you tell us the name of this girl and your bro.[/b][/color]

even if you do know the screen names, send them to me in private.

We do not need an angry mob hunting people down on here. Blum 3

and shall we NOT assume she is wrong? open minds and all.

If there is a problem it is best seen to instead of ignored.

"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.

Admin,

She's his sister, ergo they live in the same house and would have the same IP. So - see if her IP matches anyone on the forums.

Problem solved.

"Don Karnage" wrote:
Admin,

She's his sister, ergo they live in the same house and would have the same IP. So - see if her IP matches anyone on the forums.

Problem solved.

Biggrin

okay i got 2 fess up.............................................
Its me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

yeah well i thought i'd have a bit of fun and all that but sheesh some people don't know where to get off!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

Anyway if it's casuing so much bover then i'll leave it alone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

plenty more fish in da see and all that stuff!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

soz for any hurt feelings and all that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

"Seek and you shall find."

"BabyD" wrote:
but she's obviously not met me yet :evil:

hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.

@Don, I am taking this up with her in private.

"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.

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