Muslims Cancel Eid to Please America!

Quote:

New York – In a move that was expected by many people, Muslims around the world have canceled their religious celebration known as Eid ul-Fitr to accommodate American sensitivities. “It was a natural thing to do,” said Imam Tariq Shakir, the lesser-known back-up Imam of Ground Zero Mosque, “Can you imagine what would happen if a bunch of Muslims were hooting and laughing on September 11th?”

Eid-ul-Fitr is a day that marks the end of Ramadan and it has been celebrated worldwide by Muslims for over 1400 years. Except this year. With the Islamic lunar calendar being 10 or 11 days shorter than the Gregorian calendar, Eid could potentially fall on September 11th this year, depending on the moon sighting. “I have American friends who are very sensitive about September 11th” said Imam Tariq, “My neighbour always cries when he looks at his watch and it says 9:11 so I don’t want to offend him.”

To make a couple of Americans even happier, the Muslim community in New York has agreed to shut down the Ground Zero Mosque. “I applaud the Muslim community for keeping Ground Zero a sacred place,” said Ground Zero mosque opponent Newt Gingrich. “Now we have a perfect spot to build a new McDonalds. Ba-ba-ba-ba-bah I’m loving it.”

Inspired by the Muslim community’s interest in not offending a single soul, the Christian community decided to close down churches in all areas with a high density of African-Americans. “The Ku Klux Klan did some not-so-nice things to black people a couple of decades ago,” explained priest Bob Parker, “The Klan doesn’t represent Christianity but they claim they do. That makes all Christians collectively guilty for the KKK’s behaviour for some reason. Thank you Muslims for inspiring us.”

Other Muslims are enjoying the new sense of belonging in America. “Who knew integrating with our fellow Americans would be so easy?” said Khalid Usman, “all I had to do was start shaving my beard and stop taking the airplane everywhere. It takes me a few months to get to South Asia by boat but at least Americans aren’t scared of me anymore.”

Local Niqabi Sajida Syed has also stopped doing suspicious Muslim things like giving to the poor and dropped the niqab getup in favour of a ninja outfit. “Ninjas are much more accepted in society and people are high-fiving me wherever I go now.”

Imam Tariq is optimistic about the future. “9/11 was hard for all Americans, both Muslims and non-Muslims. Once all Americans agree to stop watching Fox News and getting scared out of their wits then we’ll all start living in greater harmony. Or until homeland security kicks out all the Muslims. Whatever comes first."

Tags: 

-.- if i hadnt seen the fake news tag...

can i guess maniac muslim?

Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary?

Lilly wrote:
-.- if i hadnt seen the fake news tag...

can i guess maniac muslim?

lol what would you have said if i hadnt posted the tag?

But in all honesty Eid is likely to fall on 9/11 and alot people, especially in NY are a lil concerned abot whether this will create an issue.

thoughts?

Back in BLACK

It is more likely on the 10th, but even then, its could be a "two block issue" - or more simply "how dare those moslems celebrate anything"...

If people don't like you they don't need a reason to express their hate.

"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.

You wrote:
If people don't like you they don't need a reason to express their hate.

+1

well..i was believe the whole thing and hating that dude who shaved his beard and then..the ninja thing gave it away.

IS the ground zero mosque ALREADY built?

poor NY-ans. They'll have to celebrate in silence. or in a hallaly-way

Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary?

You wrote:
It is more likely on the 10th, but even then, its could be a "two block issue" - or more simply "how dare those moslems celebrate anything"...

If people don't like you they don't need a reason to express their hate.

True but this gives them a reason.

Back in BLACK

Lilly wrote:
-.- if i hadnt seen the fake news tag...

i was gna say WTH

"How many people find fault in what they're reading and the fault is in their own understanding" Al Mutanabbi