What is Emotional Detachment?

 

1. This is an inability to connect with others in a deep and meaningful way.

2. Thus, although the person may be physically present, they are not emotionally present in the relationship.

3. In fact, sometimes the person will dissociate, or experience emotional numbing.

4. Emotional detachment makes it hard for the individual to empathize with others, to share their own feelings (which they may be unaware of), or to appear emotionally engaged in a conversation or relationship.

5. Often the person will intellectually analyze situations, but they will not be able to identify, understand or share any feelings.

6. In most cases, emotional detachment is related to a psychological trauma in the person’s past – something that occurred in a relationship with someone important to them.  As a result of this trauma, the person (usually unconsciously) has chose to protect themselves from future pain by refusing to allow anything similar to happen again. Hence, they can’t relate on an emotional level.

 

Such thoughts are harmful to an individual. Because even a smile is a form of charity and The Prophet Muhammad (SAW) had a very soft heart. He treated people gently. I remember this story about how someone came to meet the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wa Sallam (Peace and Blessings be upon him) and brough his son with him. The Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wa Sallam (Peace and Blessings be upon him) picked up the child and placed him on his lap and kiss his head. The man exclaimed that he had 10 other kids and he had never kissed any of them, sort of in a macho kind of way, to which the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wa Sallam (Peace and Blessings be upon him) said something like 'Can I help it, if Allah (swt) has removed mercy from you heart. Those who dont show mercy will receive none in the end.'

 

Keep those hearts soft, keep your conduct gentle and forgive people so that Allah (swt) can forgive you.

Comments

some stuff are just not worth knowing you know? like that emotional detachment stuff. again, some geek, somewhere with an easy life looked at some people with a not so easy life and came up with this list.

for what?

for me and you to read? identify with? and then what?

nod?

and then... do nothing? this is useless!

what do you think?

Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary?

This has a lesson in it which is that to emotionally detatch yourself is harmful to your relationships, and to show more mercy and be gentle towards others, especially your own family (!), means that Allah SWT will be merciful to you in the end. I dont think it is useless, on the contrary, i believe it clearly shows people a reason to be soft and merciful like the Prophet smiley

T.

The fact that it is an "inability" suggests it's a little more than a person just not trying hard enough...

Perhaps a therapist may be able to give such a person a quick fix, but I imagine it must be quite hard for such a person to rebuild their relationships and deal with their trauma. It's not something we can all relate to and take a lesson from just like that, I don't think.

However, we can keep in mind to try our best with relationships and inshaAllah not get into such a place in the first place.

"How many people find fault in what they're reading and the fault is in their own understanding" Al Mutanabbi

im sure that, like with everythign else, there are degrees to it.

when i meet people after a long time, people i know i like and miss, and they tell me
"i missed you" i dont actually feel anything, its later that i'll feel something. or i'd have to have thought abt them before i met them to realise the feeling of "missing" is there. theres something slightly wrong with that, but nothing major and i dont know where it comes from. overthinking? probably.

 

i also have some sort of layer or superficial feelings. in out outing i can be angry, annoyed, happy, hyper, blah blah but right at the core theres nothing, i dont give a damn abt much and nothing much gets to me except stuff like girls walking too slowly.

im chatting complete rubbish, jeremy clarkson's voice is reading what im typing right now in my head as ive just watched a little too much top gear related vids.

Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary?

I think you're maybe mixing not caring with emotional detachment. Well I think "emotional detachment" is more linked with psychological problems, like titantium said.

"How many people find fault in what they're reading and the fault is in their own understanding" Al Mutanabbi

You're not wrong. Some psychlogists say that emotional detatchment (especially if learned/adapted from a young age) can cause children to become emotionless psychopaths! And also that if you're emotionally detatched, the base of all relationships will be flawed, e.g. you wont be able to connect with a partner, you wont be able to love your children in the right way etc, scary..!

T.

Looking To See wrote:
, i dont give a damn abt much and nothing much gets to me except stuff like girls walking too slowly.
that tells you straight away not to take anything i say seriously.

plus, when someone tells you they hear Jeremy Clarkson reading what they are typing in their hand....you should run TPOS. RUN, this should be instinctal. LOLLLL

Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary?