Am asking anyone for help and avice on my problem. I am pregnant by my muslim boyfriend, we have been together for just under a year and his family do not know about our relationship. He's 28 and not married and I am 27. He says that if his famly find about my pregnancy they will kick him out of his family home. He says he wants me to keep the baby then he says to me that nothing or no one is going to come in between him or his family. He says he loves me, I'm so confused. He also says that he's scared. I don't want to abort our child and love him dearly.
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He don't love you.
"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.
He's 28 and still lives with his parents? I think he's old enough to 'put up' with being thrown out of the family home.
Question:
Was it unprotected love or safe to say it's lust?
Don't just do something! Stand there.
I thank you for your comment.
Yes this is serious. No joke.. I have spokent to my parents about this and they were happy for and him but I have not told them about his reaction as of yet
It was unprotected.. He knew what he was doing as well as I. Now he says he's scared of losing his family but doesn't want me to have a termination.
No I am not a muslim but he is. Obviously not a practising one as he has been seeing me for nearly a year and now has got me pregnant and seems like his baby and me are not that important as his family.
The guy sounds like a player. Do you really want him around? Have you considered letting his family know?
Why does he not want them to know?
"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.
Sounds as if he doesn't deserve much of a say AT ALL in this.
So if YOU decide to keep it, do that. But if you don't want to, then don't.
It's your body, not his.
Don't just do something! Stand there.
You know what I have considered telling his father, who owns a shop aroundv the corner from where I live. He says that he doesn't want them to know cos he will lose everything and his family.
What does that even mean? Ask him did he consider that before taking the actions he did?
After all he could have NOT got involved with you if he thought his family in as high a regards as he seems to say he does...
"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.
I have asked him and all he says is that he's not losing his family over anything or nothing. It seems as if he is not taking responsibility for his actions and his family are more important than his own child. He got invovled with me knowing I had two kids. At the start of the relationship I kept my children away from knowing about me and him, he instigated it all by asking to take my children out and doing family things with us... Buying my children gifts, etc..
He sounds evil...
The child IS/will be his family...
"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.
I told him that this is his child and that if his parents ever threw him out of his family home he could live with me and we would be a family. I seem to think his family would be very angry at first but at the end of the day the baby will be their grandchild and obviously they have not been that strict with him as he is 28 and not married yet.
option 1) you convert to islam - thus making it easy for you to marry him, tell him to tell his family , they will eventaully accept it and live happily after
option 2) kill the baby with an abortion , forget you ever met him and it ever happend (commiting a very big sin)
option 3) keep the baby ,be a single mum, make sure he pays child support otherwise take him to court
option 4) you dont convert , confront his family , so they kick him out , thus he has to live with you and the baby
there are some options for you , he probably does love you , but the fear of losing his family is too much for him , although if he cared for his family so much in the first place he wouldnt have got you pregnant, i think he has to man up and accept his responsibility you are his new family now ..remember two wrongs dont make a right
best of luck ... hope god gives you the strength to overcome this
He really needs to take responsibility for his actions as an ADULT. its not like he is a teen. The truth is probably going to come out sooner or later as there is no way if he does not want u to terminate, that he will be able to keep it away from his family especially if he intends on supporting you and the baby. How is he going to lead a double life? On the other hand if he doesnt intend on supporting u and the baby then its really unfair on u, in which case u should probably consider speakint to his family yourself.
Asalamu alaykum,
"He sounds evil..." Please don't say this or any other insulting things abt our brother, practising or not..we are all held accountable for our words.
Wasalam
Apologies (to him) - me passing judgement was uncalled for and wrong.
"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.
What a sod
seriously
he's man enough to sleep with a woman but not man enough to marry the woman he got pregnant?
it happens all the time
he seriously can't be that bothered about his family if he was willing to sleep with you without protection
in my opinion your better off without him in your life
SMILE! its charity
So the more you care about the family, the more careful you are with contraceptives?
Doesn't it mean that he can't be bothered about HER if he was "willing" to be lax about it?
Accidents happen. Miracles happen.
The guy in this story could be confused...He probably doesn't know what to do
i doubt he doesn't care at all and even if he DOESN'T...
we only know one side of the story.
And a side that's inevitably biased.
No offence,like.
#Before you look at the thorns of the rose , look at it's beauty. Before you complain about the heat of the sun , enjoy it's light. Before you complain about the blackness of the night, think of it's peace and quiet... #
my point is that his actions from what i've heard show that either he doesn't think about his actions or he just doesn't care because he must know theres a chance of getting her pregnant if they don't use protection
SMILE! its charity
What about you brown eyes?
What was your reason for not using contraception or at least insisting that he did?
Did you want to have a child with this man, or was it an accident.
There's no shame in being an accident! I was an 'accident'.
Don't just do something! Stand there.
We were using contraception and it was an accident. Yes I love him and want to be with him and have his child. He has now told me he wants me to have an abortion because he's not ready for this so I guess I am on my own.. I thank you all for your comments as I am alone in this and you have all given me an in sight to your culture and religion and think is a lovely way of life..
I am sorry to hear what he has said.
As for being alone - you are simply without him.
Thank you for the compliments and I do hope that you do keep an open mind towards it all, but that would be difficult especially in such times.
"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.
you wont be alone
you said your parents were happy for you
surely they will help you if you can't cope
SMILE! its charity
hi,
i can understand why he doesn't want to tell his family.....I'm not saying he's right,I'm just saying i understand....after all what he did is classed as haram in Islam!
And although he obviously isn't practising his parents may very well be, and that's probably why he's hiding it!!!
if he can't own up to his family and tell them at some point that you are having his baby then you really have to think....is he the right one for you.
i hope it all works out for you
fiamanillah
But he is trying it through the act of murder.
"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.
{muses}
If only we could hold a shotgun wedding.
hmmm
Back in BLACK
I don't sympathise with the situation at hand, It appears (Or rather you've said yourself) that both of you knew what you were doing at the time. The fact is that if a person doesn't take the necessary precautions to protect his/her own dignity, then you will eventually land yourself in a sticky situation.
I doubt you'll find a completely satisfying solution to the problem, either way you look at it you may very well be loosing something.
If my opinion is of any interest, I would say that the man you are currently 'seeing', is not worthy of you for a start and even less worthy of a child considering his character (If you've been fair in your description of him).
He appears to be the sort of man that isn't tied down to anything or anyone, a rather flighty character that won't offer much stability. And generally speaking those kind of men should be kicked to the kerb as soon as possible and without hesitation.
If there is a chance that you can change his attitude at all, then by all means try, but don't exhaust yourself in the process, remember there’s now also another person in the situation.
And for the love of God don't do anything silly like abort the baby, that wont help the situation at all, and you'll only end up regretting it in the long run...
In all truth the best thing to do if there is no sign of change would be to 'dump' him, have the baby and move on (being a single Mum isn't easy, but its not impossible) , men like that aren't worth the effort or the hassle, the blame is on you both - but at least you have here a chance to put things right and change your situation for the better, opportunities like that don't come around very often, and you wont be able to change what’s already done if the decisions you make turn out to be wrong.
Not the ideal I know, but when has anything ever been easy?
(And I’ll be bold here, you could consider Islam as a means to a solution…)
Insha’allah I hope everything works out well which ever road you happen to walk, Take care.
Organic
Are you entering the 'Most Judgemental Post' competition?
Don't just do something! Stand there.
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