Single, Muslim and Pregnant

Author: 
Alveena Salim

As an East London girl, it wasn’t unusual to see crowds of Muslim guys standing outside libraries waiting to try it on with any girl that passed through the door. Nor was it unusual to see groups of Muslim guys standing on top of street corners making comments at girls that walked past.

It definitely wasn’t unusual to see a guy drive round the same block at least four times just to take another look at a girl. Guys chased the girls. The girls played hard to get. But a couple of years down the line, I don’t see that any more. Why? Coz guys don’t need to chase girls any more.

Over the years, a lot more girls don’t see a problem with sleeping around. In recent years, we’ve seen the rise in Vicky Pollard and “Am I bovvered” wannabe Muslim ladettes, a rise in the number of youth who are ‘doing it’ and a rise in Muslim teenage pregnancies.

Fortunately, whilst the UK does have the highest number of teenage pregnancies in Europe, Muslim girls are least likely to get pregnant out of wedlock compared to all other faiths (1). However, Muslim teenage pregnancies DO happen and are often kept undercover.

What’s The Big Deal?

Premarital or extramarital sex - known as Zina is a major sin in Islam! Allah (swt) warns Muslims not to even come near it and describes it as

“an abomination and an evil way.” (17: 32)

According to a Hadith it is also considered one of the worst sins in the eyes of Allah (swt).

The Holy Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wa Sallam (Peace and Blessings be upon him) related a dream in which he saw a number of sinners were being punished. The Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wa Sallam (Peace and Blessings be upon him) said:

“…We proceeded until we came across a hole in the ground that resembled a baking pit, narrow at the top and wide at the bottom. Babbling and voices were issuing from it. We looked in and saw naked men and women. Underneath the pit was a raging fire; whenever it flared up, the men and women screamed and rose with it until they almost fell out of the pit. As it subsided, they returned (to the bottom). I said: ‘Who are these?’ They said: ‘…The naked men and women who were in the pit, they are men and women who indulge in Zina…” (Bukhari)

It is such a serious offence that all things that lead to Zina, such as being alone with a member of the opposite sex who you’re not related to is also forbidden in Islam.

The reason why it’s forbidden in Islam is coz of the major problems that it can bring into society such as illegitimate children, spread of disease, increase in divorce rate, spread of crime, children not being brought up or cared for properly and ultimately the breakdown of the family unit.

As a Muslim, to be pregnant and unmarried is the worst situation to be in. Such girls are often shunned by society, talked about in a bad way and are considered to have brought ‘shame’ on their family. This is why many teenage Muslim girls, who find themselves in such a serious situation, will go to great lengths to hide their pregnancy – and this may result in secret abortions or even a ‘virginity fix’.

24 hymen replacement operations took place between 2005 and 2006. An increasing number of women are paying up to £4,000 in private clinics for the procedure apparently under pressure from future spouses or in-laws who believe they should be virgins on their wedding night. Doctors said most patients are immigrants or British of ethnic origin. Dr Magdy Hend, consultant gynaecologist at the Regency Clinic, Harley Street, London, who started hymen reconstruction more than 18 years ago in the Middle East and the Gulf, said:

"In some cultures they like to see that the women will bleed on the wedding night. If the wife or bride is not a virgin, it is a big shame on the family."

Dr Hend also said that most clients are in their teens or early twenties and that demand is increasing, particularly from UK residents (2).

It is extremely important to note it is a myth that a bride will definitely bleed on her wedding night if she is indeed a virgin. Bleeding isn’t at all a reliable indication of a girl’s virginity, as many girls who are virgins do not bleed when they first have sexual intercourse and this is normal. To combat such ignorance amongst our people we need to educate ourselves about Islam so that we recognise true Islamic teachings from the backward cultural practices of today.

Some girls are forced to undergo secret abortions. Shanaz speaks of her experience:

The doctor asked me ‘why do you want an abortion?’ I told him it was because of my background and family and that there was no way I could have a baby. As an unmarried Muslim girl, I simply couldn’t go through with the pregnancy. Not only would it break up the family but I could be disowned, in fact anything could happen to me.

I also told him I was at college, and living at home with only a small grant. Throughout this time my then boyfriend was like a stranger.

I really needed his support but got none. He didn’t come to the private clinic with me, or help me with transport to the nursing home where they performed the operation. He just gave me half the money and that was that.

I had no-one to confide in really. The worst thing was coming home and being with my parents, knowing that something was living inside me. It was worse at night, when I had time to think clearly and hurt and feel guilty about what was going to happen. I was about to kill my child. It was terrible to feel like that and keep it all to myself. (3)

Abortion – The Easy Way Out?

So you’re knocked up, not married and scared of how you’re parents will react? Abortion seems like the easy way out. However, whilst many feminists may bang on about a woman having full control over their bodies, Islam does not see abortion as an answer to your problems.

Life is a gift from Allah (swt). No one has the right to take away or stop the life of anyone else. Killing any person is strongly condemned in the Quran, especially the killing of children which is specifically condemned in several chapters.

The Quran says:

"Kill not your children for fear of want; it is We who provide sustenance for them as well as for you; for verily killing them is a great sin. (17: 31).

Sex outside marriage can also result in serious consequences for all involved. In some instances some Muslim girls are killed for getting themselves in such a shameful situation, in so-called ‘honour killings’ which have nothing whatsoever to do with Islam.

So Why Do Unmarried Muslim Girls Have Sex?

“Coz there’s no point going out with a guy if you’re not going to do stuff” claims Anisha. Safa argues that “everyone is ‘doing it’ and anyone who denies it is a liar”. So peer pressure and the current norms of society play a huge part. Another common reason is lack of self-esteem, some girls go all the way because it makes them feel loved, desired and better about themselves. In other instances, it may be due to lack of appreciation or love at home, which makes them go looking for it elsewhere. Detachment from home can lead to attachment elsewhere.

On top of that, there’s the mixed message that teenagers learn in school. In a bid to decrease the number of teenage pregnancies, one government initiative was to give out free condoms, which gave the message “it’s OK to do it, as long as you use protection”. Whilst Western society tries to decrease the number of teenage pregnancies by dishing out free contraception, Islam emphasises no sex outside marriage. Islam gives that as a solution rather than a temporary cure.

The media also gives out messages that encourage teenagers to have sex before marriage; Sex is a topic that advertisers and marketers use very effectively to sell their products, from chocolates to mobile phones to even the latest car.

How many times has the storyline of teenage pregnancies hit popular soaps? ‘The new female imperative is that it is only through promiscuity and sexual aggression that girls can achieve admiration and recognition’.

Films such as Cruel Intentions and Mean Girls, the music and videos of Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera and Lil' Kim all help portray this message. ‘Girls are being led to believe they're in control when it comes to sexual relationships.’ (4)

Lack of Islamic education is another reason why young girls have sex outside marriage. How many parents give their children the Islamic ‘sex talk’? How may Mosque Imams address this issue?

So What Do You Want Me To Do About It?

Firstly, we need to acknowledge the fact that is an issue that affects the Muslim youth. Secondly, we need to be prepared to talk about it in order to educate our youth with Islamic knowledge. Parents should know that sex is not always a dirty word. It is an important aspect of our life.

There should be no shame or holding back in discussing this issue, if a child has reached puberty, it’s time to teach him/her the difference between right and wrong. And because the Western society is most definitely going to be tackling this issue in schools and through the media, we need to make sure more so, that our youth are educated about sex according to the teachings of Islam.

The people from the time of the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wa Sallam (Peace and Blessings be upon him) asked questions about discharge and even wet dreams, in fact the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wa Sallam (Peace and Blessings be upon him) praised the women of Ansar, because their shyness did not prevent them from seeking knowledge.

The main reason Muslim parents do not or cannot discuss sex education with their children is because of their cultural upbringing. Parents may not be comfortable with their own sexuality or its expression coz of the way they were brought up.

Our Imams/Mosques also need to educate the community and offer counselling to those people who may have fallen into this predicament. That way, young girls would not be forced to have undercover abortions, run away from home, contemplate getting ‘virginity fix’ surgery or be victims of ‘honour crime’.

And girls wake up. Most guys can walk away from a sexual encounter without giving it a second thought. Girls can’t do that. Don’t sleep with a guy in order to win his love, or to be accepted by your friends or even if you’re convinced that you’re ‘in love’.

The truth is that most guys have little respect for a girl who has slept with someone before marriage, even if you sleep with them! Plus, society thinks very low of such people and there’s a possibility that you may fall pregnant.

More importantly, you’ll be guilty of one of the biggest sins in Islam! If you have any self-respect, you’ll hold out for the guy who respects you enough to commit to marriage. Someone who can see themselves spending a bit more than a few nights with you.

References

Comments

Zakky wrote:
Im out , you people dont have much knowledge, just express your "opinion" and views which is a load of bull!!

Just noticed this.

"You people" ???

I am just an individual giving his views in light of the real world. I believe that Allah (swt) gave us a mind so that we can use it. Yolu are free to agree or disagree with me, but please remember that its only my view which you are disagreeing with, not "you people"'s. No need to think bad of them due to my superior thought processes.

"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.

Zakky wrote:
You wrote:
it's the same ideology/mentality that pervades in those people, so yes it is linked.

If a person does not want your help, thats their problem. My point is ...we should help! We are obliged to help ...as I mentioned 'to the fullest extent', if after that they dont want help, thats their own business.

Define help. Condemning them to hell and destruction is NOT help. Try helping them by living a good life yourself, teach them through example instead of shouting them down. And when they are so impressed with your lifestyle choices, they will ask to be "saved".

helping others/forcing betterment leads people to down dark alleyways - instead of doing one thing wrong, they will do two, three or more things to hide the primary mistake/choice, and that is worse that just doing the one and is escalation forced through others trying to "help".

My personal view on pre marital relationships is that there can be much much worse done. While no pre marital relations is the best, it is not always achievable, and in that case, a willing relationship is better than the alternatives such as abuse and rape.

The last two are far more common that most people realise as it is hidden under the carpet - so common that I no longer thing telling people to NOT have pre marital relations is a good thing as its the far lesser of the evils. Get rid of pre-marital willing relationships, and guess what some people will choose?

Personal View??? Opinion??? Err....Do you follow the Quran or your own law mate? There is no 'opinion' or 'personal view' when it comes to commiting a crime!! Whether you like to hear that ..or NOT!

Ofcourse when I say help...it literally means help!

"helping others/forcing betterment leads people to down dark alleyways"<<< that aint help!

Zakky , mate, it's not that simple. You/Admin is saying how you should deal with it, not that you should condone it. By all means you should help/advise them. But if they don't want your help, then what can you do, you have to let them and take a step back, Inshallah one day they will come round to your way of thinking, but not if you force them.

“Before death takes away what you are given, give away whatever there is to give.”

Mawlana Jalal ud Din Rumi

oldhamdude wrote:
Thanks for raising this issue. muslim girls just as much slags as anyone else, now i have no respect for them expect those who wear the black veil coz they have some decency left in them. rest are just meat for boys. i am also guilty of comitting zina against many girls both old and young. please pray for me.

So brother,basically you are saying that you have no respect for Muslims girls, and those that do not wear "Black veil"-or Niqab are basically "meat" for the boys? They deserve to be ogled and treated less than human, because they are not wearing a black veil? And you are also guilty of committing Zina?! But, because you are a man, you are okay to talk trash about these sisters? THEY ARE YOUR SISTERS IN ISLAM. MEN ARE THE ONES THAT CONTROL THE SOCIETY. IF MUSLIM MEN CONTINUE TO ACT LIKE THE REST OF THE KAFFIR, AS YOUR STATEMENT SUGGEST YOU ACT, THEN THE WHOLE UMMA WILL FALL INTO DARKNESS. Just keep that in mind. Try to have respect for sisters, and Men, quit ruining our lives! And Sisters! Quit allowing these boys to take advantage of you! Many innocent women are trapped into having sex with men, and then are abandoned and treated like garbage! That is a problem for European and American women. Don't let your selves become the same victims! Think!

im a muslim girl and im pregnant right now i know its wrong to have sex before marriage and i dunno im just stupid. i've been with the guy 4 nearly 2years, he's not some random guy. he wants me to keep the baby and will support me. but im scared about my family they aint going to kill me i know that but i feel sick for doing this to them, they've done nothing but be nice to me and i go and do this. i know well i hope eventually they'l forgive me. its gets worse ive been pregnant before and i had an abortion and i've never been able to get over it, doctors just wanna put me on anti-depresnts but i've started readin namaz cz thts better! i cnt do it again but thn i dont wana do this to my family (ur all probly thinin well u shouldnt have had sex and made the mistake again and that im stupid bt i knw tht). im gonne do this istikhara dua thing to help me decide what to do. there should be more out there for unmarried muslim pregnant girls, they need help.

You could get married to the guy quicktime?

That is the measure of seriousness in either/both of you.

If the guy balks at that, he was never serious in the first place. If you balk at that... were you really serious?

Inshallah things will work out for you (but I suspect there to be much harship along the path).

ur all probly thinin well u shouldnt have had sex and made the mistake again and that im stupid bt i knw tht

The original solution would also have been marriage - abstinence does not always work for everyone. But the past is the past and you have to do what is right now. Get married.

"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.

he wants to get married i would to. i knew i'd marry him before i even became pregnant but when i was older after i had finished studyin. plus im the youngest in my fam so there's a queue lol. i heard u couldnt get married whilst ur pregnant? but i will after if it'l help. how do i know if what im doin is right by keepin it? all i wanna do is the right thing and im hopin that means keepin it. according to islam whats the right thing to do?

12345 wrote:
he wants to get married i would to. i knew i'd marry him before i even became pregnant but when i was older after i had finished studyin. plus im the youngest in my fam so there's a queue lol. i heard u couldnt get married whilst ur pregnant? but i will after if it'l help. how do i know if what im doin is right by keepin it? all i wanna do is the right thing and im hopin that means keepin it. according to islam whats the right thing to do?

Why cant you push into the queue?
You know its right becuase abortion is wrong in Islam too, and two wrongs don't make a right.
I think you should get married asap and before the baby is born because that way the baby wont be seen as illegitimate child. However im not 100% sure on that, i think ive heard of it so if anyone else can clear that up...

I don't think there is a problem with getting married when pregnant...

As for there being a queue, an order, time for you to break it. If you want to marry him and he wants to marry you, I see no problems there.

It does not have to big and fancy and you do not have to suddenly be locked away in the kitchen or something. You can be married and continue with your studies just as you are right now. There would be the added bonus of not having the sneak around and everything would also be halaal.

You have nothing to lose and everything to gain. Get married.

On the issue of abortion, in most cases most scholars see it as wrong. While having a child outside wedlock would be considered scandalous and there would be much talking behind backs etc, it is better IMO than abortion (especially and increasingly if it is a late one, so how far along you are may also be important) - but again everyone has different opinions and some may prefer to hide the past through bigger sins.

My advice: get married. He wants to marry you, you want to marry him, so get it over with already.

"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.

i think thtas what i'll do. i want to finish my degree so whn im older i can get a decent job, ive already explained to him tht i wont be in the kitchen all day Smile running away or anything like that is not an option we did this so we want 2 face up 2 it now and not be scared like last time. aslng as my family are there whn i get married thts all i care abwt, everybody else can say what they want 2 say. if they knew wht actually happens in a abortion im sure they would tell me 2 keep it. im only 4weeks hasnt been long at all but i've made up my mind and you guys have made me feel much better about it so thank you.

No problems and inshallah you will have a long and happy marriage.

(and yeah, keep studying afterwards too - it's your right.)

"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.

i dont think using the word Cos instead of because is exactly worth worrying about do u?
and why is it that people think having sex out of wedlock and or getting pregnant is to do with anyones religion, it doesnt matter what religion you are if you want to do something like that then your are going to do it, we are all guilty of sins whether it be sex, gambling, drinking alcohol, getting pregnant out of wedlock etc etc
so its not fair to blame a specific religion or assume religion has anythin to do with peoples actions, we might be of similar religions but everyone is different with their own minds and their own will an conciounce, and it males are just as guilty as women and vice versa

That is not fair at all - I, a muslim female, do not wear a black veil or anything like that, and i am still pure and will be until marriage. Why do you not have any respect for me, or for any of the other females who live like me? The black viel is so unneeded - you are only meant to cover your hair, and that is still something the girl HERSELF should choose!

I have no respect for men like you, who take women for granted and think of them as 'just meat for boys'. So you are saying that is it completely fine for boys/men to go around and have sex with anything, but when a girl does it, it is a much larger sin than what the boy is doing? WRONG.

I pity people like you, and any other person who agrees with the pig i am replying to.

Why not make an article about MUSLIM BOYS SLEEPING AROUND?
THEY ARE THE MAJORITY COMMITING ZINA, BUT NOBDY SEEMS TO CONFRONT THEM!

MOST MUSLIMS GUYS DONT CRE FOR ISLAM WHEN THEY ARE TEEN, OR WHEN THEY PASS 20,
THEY SUDDENLY CARE FOR ISLAM WHEN ITS TIME FOR MARRIAGE, THEY ALL THE SUDDEN WANT A "PIOUS"//VIGIN WOMAN,
BUT HOW DARE THEY DEMAND SOMTIN THEY DONT HAVE THE RIGHT TO?

I GET SO FUSTRATED BOUT DIS ISSUE.
AND AS FOR THE MORAN WHO SAID HE LOST RESPECT FOR MUSIM GIRLS, U SHOLD BE ASHAMED,
IM A MUSLIM TEENAGER, DONT WEAR HIJAB, BUT I STAY AWAY FROM BOYS, PARTIES, ALCHOHOL, FASTE DURING RAMADAN AND INSHALLAH ONE DAY I WILL START TO PRACTICE 03030035.

MANY OF THE GIRLS IN MY SCHOOL DATE "MUSLIM" GUYS, AND ITS NO BIG SECRET WHAT THEY DO,
CUS THEY LIKE TO BRAG.
AND WHERE ARE THE PARENTS IN THIS?
THEY MAKE IT SUTCH A BIG DEAL WHEN A GIRL LOOSES HER VIRGINITY, BUT WHEN THEY KNOW THEY LITTLE BABYBOY IS RUNNING AROUND THE BLOCK ,THEY DONT SEEM TO CARE!

AT THE END, I AS A MUSLIM LADY AM GONNA LOOSE!
CUS IF I CHOOSE TO WAIT FOR MARRIGE OR JUST DO IT NOW, IM GONNA END UP WITH SOME MAN WHO IS NOT PIOUS(VIGIN)!
AND THIS FRIGHTNES ME,,,,CUS I DONT WANT TO WORRY ABOUT THIS NOW, BUT CANT HELP IT, CUS ITS THE TRUTH.

PS: SUTCH DOBBLESTANDARDS,
I WAS ON A FORUM//DEBATE SIDE EARLIER TODAY, SO MANY NON-MUSLIM WOMAN WHO ARE MARRIED TO MUSLIM MENN, AND BY THIS I MEAN NON-MUSLIM, RATHER AGNOSTIC WHICH MEAN THEY DO NOT BELONG TO THE PEOPLE OF THE BOOK, YET THEESE WOMEN ARE ALLOWED TO SHARE BED IN HIS PARENTS HOUSE BEFRE MARRIAGE, IF THIS WAS THE WAY AROUND THEY PARENTS WOULD FREAK CUS THEIR BELOVED DAUGHTER MUST BE A VIRGIN,,,,WHY DO GUYS GET AWAY, DO STUFF,
THE WORST PART IS WHEN SOME WESTERN GUY CONVERT TO ISLAM, FIND ONE GIRL FROM A MUSLIM COUNTRY, YET THE PARANTS SAY NO? WHILE THEIR SON HAS MARRIED AN UNBELIVER, THEY WARTHFTHLY ACCEPTED HER, LET HER SHARE BED BEFORE THE WEEEDIDDDIN, COME ON,, WHY DONT ANYBODY TAKE THIS ISSUE UP?
JUST LOOK ON UTUBE, SHEIKS CRITEZIING WOMEN FOR SMALL THINGS SUTCH AS PARFYME, WHY DONT THEY TAKE THIS REAL ISSUES UP? WHICH CONTAINS MUSLIMS MENS BEHAVIOUR...

what people are also forgetting that marriage with a non muslim guy is also void marriage, therefore kids born outside these relationships is illegitamate child, there would be no wrong in marrying from the western guys point of view, because in his intentions its good, but in the muslim girls point of view, the act is evil, because she knows its wrong, and believing that she is married, she must realise that without nikkah marriage is void, even though there are court papers claiming of marriage, another thing if a man converts for muslimah to get married to her, he isnt a muslim, because he has to whole heartedly accept allah, and i think alot of youth are missing the point, girls end up on the worst side, because guys can marry a non muslim and have her adjust to islam or their culture, but imagine a muslimah doing that, how can she think of living outside islam adjusting for her non muslim partner, maybe she can do this in her youth, but committing for the rest of her life, in her 30s she will regret her decision

Salaam

Children should be allowed to have CHILDhoods, and not forced into adulthood by a sex-mad society. Maybe if we didn't bombard young people with messages of how great and "perfectly safe" sex was in every television program, magazine article and new pop song, then they wouldn't be doing the things they do.

The teenager prégnances and the sheer madness of sex education teaches nothing about morality. A fifteen years girl has a child from a thirteen year old boy. They and their parent are very proud of the child and grand child. Now two more boys claimed that they are the fathers of the child. DNA test will prove the child's paternity. This means that the girl had multiple sexual relations. Britain's rate of teenage pregnancy is the highest in western Europe. This is a clear indication of broken society. It is an eye opening for the Muslim community who send their children to state schools with non-Muslim teachers.

Sex education and contraception in schools make children as quasi adults, capable of making their own life choices. Children are being taught that sexually transmitted diseases could be easily treated and there is no acknowledgement of the emotional harm of premature sexual activity. The truth is that more sex education and contraception are provided to children and teenagers, the more they fall pregant. Studies have shown that access to contraceptions and sex education, sexual activity and conception and prgnancy rates go up.

The teaching of sex education could not curb teenage pregnancies. Infact, it has simply increased it. The spectre of hidden epidemic of sex crimes inside Britain's classrooms has emerged after Scotland Yard revealed there have been nearly 900 rapes or sex attacks in schools. The vast majority of victims were school children under the age of 16. As many as one in three were under 11.

According to official figures, nearly half of babies are now born out of wedlock. They are more likely to suffer social.mental and emotional problems. Researchers have revealed the migrants in Britain are more likely to have children within marriage. If Muslim children keep on attending state schools with non-Muslim monolingualk teachers than there is a possibility that teenage Muslim girls will have children out of wedlock.

The sexualisation of children by the government, Dept of Education, 'pregnancy advice centres', social workers, school nurses, media aimed at teen girls, contraceptive industry lobbyists, fashion industry and the welfare state to name just a few, is a crime against humanity.

It is also gross hypocrisy for the police to prosecute paedophiles when the government is overseeing boy scouts being given condoms from the age 11 and girls of the same age being told it is OK to have sex if they use 'protection'. Boys and girls at age 11 are not allowed to marry but they can have sex and produce children. Every parent is worried about his child being indoctrinated into the idea that gay and sexual promiscuity is "normal" modes of behaviour. At the same time, all parents have the right to control their children and it is their Duty to control them.

It is an eye opening for the Muslim parents who keep on sending their children to state schools with non-Muslim monolingual teachers. Bilingual Muslim children need state funded Muslim schools with bilingual Muslim teachers a s role models during their developmental periods. Muslim teachers are in a better position to teach sex education to teenagers according to Islamic perspectives. There is no place for a non-Muslim child or a teacher in a Muslim school. State funded Muslim schools are crucial for social cohesion, religious and cultural harmony. They are preparing children and young people to face the challenges of life in modern Britain and to also contribute in a positive way to wider society. Muslim children will develop self-confidence and self-esteem. According to TES, pupils make more progress at Muslim secondary schools than anyother type of schools. They are promoting tolerance and support the spiritual, moral, social, linguistic and cultural development of pupils.
Iftikhar Ahmad

Iftikhar, Asalam Alykum! Where have you been?

Right, time for some de ja vu. We live in a non-Muslim country and therefore without non-Muslims knowing Muslims we will not be able to dispel myths and stereotypes!
Isn't the real way to counter this is to have more Muslim teachers, or teachers who understand Muslims; and have parents and Imams on their feet and more open, understanding and pro-active?

Have a think rather than advertise Muslim schools all the time

“Before death takes away what you are given, give away whatever there is to give.”

Mawlana Jalal ud Din Rumi

That makes you a slag too then.

Sorry I didn't mean that in general, i was referring to post 2... It just really ticked me off. I can't stand men who label girls slags and then say they've done the same thing. Yeah maybe you should start wearing a veil too, otherwise no one would respect you either.

That was a bit harsh since he said:

oldhamdude wrote:
please pray for me.

:/

"How many people find fault in what they're reading and the fault is in their own understanding" Al Mutanabbi

N.K. wrote:
really interesting article. i never even lost a thought about a muslim girl getting pregnant. this is so... unbelievable. don't know what goes on in their minds...
God help us insallah

oh dear

 

you make me sick! muslim girls who cimmit this islamic crime are slags but you are a victim and every1 should pray for u?..... what about the guity girls being brought up in such a volitile way such as ur community that makes a girl feel they can only find solace in the arms of a man that bullshits them into thinking they are the bee's knee's and then to be dropped when they have their own way! oh and not forgetting moving onto a "VIRGIN" when they have had enough of being sinners!

Bilingual Muslim children should be adopted and fostered by bilingual Muslim parents because man is a product of his culture, language and faith.At the same time bilingual Muslim children should be educated in state funded Muslim schools with bilingual Muslim teachers as role models during their developmental periods. There is no place for a non-Muslim child or a teacher in a Muslim school.

Homosexuality is a sin and Muslim parents schools must teach their children. It is not only homosexuality but sex out of wedlock is also a sin.

Children have no need to know about homosexuality unless they are affected when they reach puberty. Where is the protection for children who are not legally allowed sexual relationships before the age of 16?

I have been campaigning for state funded Muslim schols for the last 35 years because British schooling is the home of
institutional racism and British teachers are chicken racists. British teachers are not role models for Muslim children during their developmental periods.

I set up the first Muslim school in London in 1981 and now there are about 166 Muslim schools and only 11 are state funded. I would like to see each and every Muslim child in a state funded Muslim school with bilingual Muslim
teachers as role model. There is no place for a non-Muslim child or a teacher in a Muslim school.

Western media and politicians have been trying their best to propogate against Muslim schools. Muslim schools are even called Osma bin Laden Academies by a Teaching Union. Only less than 5% of Muslim children attend Muslim
schools while more than 95% are in state schools to be mis-educated and de-educated by non-Muslim monolingual teachers.

The demand for state funded Muslim schools is in accordance with the law of the land. Muslim community is not asking for any favour. Muslim community
pays all sorts of taxes and is less burden on social services.

Bilingual Muslim children must learn and be well versed in standard English to follow the National Curriculum and go for higher studies and reearch to serve humanity. At the same time they must learn and be well versed in
Arabic, Urdu and other community languages to keep in touch with their cultuiral roots and enjoy the beauty of their literature and poetry. A Muslim is a citizen of this tiny global village. He/she does not want to become notoriously monolingual Brit.

There are hundreds of state and church schools where Muslim children are in majority. In my opinion, all such schools may be opted out as Muslim Academies. Bilingual Muslim children need bilingual Muslim teachers as role
models during their developmental periods. There is no place for a non-Muslim child or a teacher in a Muslim school.
IA

I don't believe this article at all. As a UK-Muslim-Girl I have never ever come across a Muslim-Girl getting pregnant out of wed-lock. To those that do are from mipur background, weak gullible people, immoral insecure girls who dont have any self-respect and are very uncivilizd. Who don't have a clue about Islam. That's why they end up alone in life. But it's still very very very rear. As a Girl I can never ever sleep about before Marriage, the thought sickens me.

Shazia wrote:
I don't believe this article at all. As a UK-Muslim-Girl I have never ever come across a Muslim-Girl getting pregnant out of wed-lock. To those that do are from mipur background, weak gullible people, immoral insecure girls who dont have any self-respect and are very uncivilizd. Who don't have a clue about Islam. That's why they end up alone in life. But it's still very very very rear. As a Girl I can never ever sleep about before Marriage, the thought sickens me.
It's not just Mirpuris that do it. And nor is the rest always true. No need for such horrible generalisations.

"How many people find fault in what they're reading and the fault is in their own understanding" Al Mutanabbi

Shazia wrote:
I don't believe this article at all. As a UK-Muslim-Girl I have never ever come across a Muslim-Girl getting pregnant out of wed-lock. To those that do are from mirpur background, weak gullible people, immoral insecure girls who dont have any self-respect and are very uncivilizd. Who don't have a clue about Islam. That's why they end up alone in life. But it's still very very very rear. As a Girl I can never ever sleep about before Marriage, the thought sickens me.

Why u only bashing Mirpuri gals only for?
Which caste of girls do it Jat Mirpuri (Sikh blood, some Hindu, Rajput Mirpuri (Hindu blood, some Sikh)

How about other Asians that live in the UK- Bangladeshi, Indian, Sri Lankan they are just as bad

If you say to a Mirpuri girl Kuriyeh Mein Toki Par Desan she will give you a big slap but if you are saying it in the sense that Mirpuri parents are backwards and try to ground there daughters and thats why they do such things then I will agree with you but then again its the society in general its a bit like monkey see monkey do kind of thing and when Katie price is on the Daily Star inregards to her boyfriends then what do you expect?

My English is not very good

It has only been pretty recently that I have come across a vein of racism against mirpuris - something that I knew existed but hadn't experienced before.

There are good and bad people everywhere, there are good and bad actions being done by all sorts of people, but it can be easy to blame "someone else" and not look under your own rug.

"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.

You wrote:
It has only been pretty recently that I have come across a vein of racism against mirpuris - something that I knew existed but hadn't experienced before.

There are good and bad people everywhere, there are good and bad actions being done by all sorts of people, but it can be easy to blame "someone else" and not look under your own rug.

I am with you all the way on this

My English is not very good

Anonymous3432 wrote:
Why not make an article about MUSLIM BOYS SLEEPING AROUND?
THEY ARE THE MAJORITY COMMITING ZINA, BUT NOBDY SEEMS TO CONFRONT THEM!

MOST MUSLIMS GUYS DONT CRE FOR ISLAM WHEN THEY ARE TEEN, OR WHEN THEY PASS 20,
THEY SUDDENLY CARE FOR ISLAM WHEN ITS TIME FOR MARRIAGE, THEY ALL THE SUDDEN WANT A "PIOUS"//VIGIN WOMAN,
BUT HOW DARE THEY DEMAND SOMTIN THEY DONT HAVE THE RIGHT TO?

I GET SO FUSTRATED BOUT DIS ISSUE.
AND AS FOR THE MORAN WHO SAID HE LOST RESPECT FOR MUSIM GIRLS, U SHOLD BE ASHAMED,
IM A MUSLIM TEENAGER, DONT WEAR HIJAB, BUT I STAY AWAY FROM BOYS, PARTIES, ALCHOHOL, FASTE DURING RAMADAN AND INSHALLAH ONE DAY I WILL START TO PRACTICE 03030035.

MANY OF THE GIRLS IN MY SCHOOL DATE "MUSLIM" GUYS, AND ITS NO BIG SECRET WHAT THEY DO,
CUS THEY LIKE TO BRAG.
AND WHERE ARE THE PARENTS IN THIS?
THEY MAKE IT SUTCH A BIG DEAL WHEN A GIRL LOOSES HER VIRGINITY, BUT WHEN THEY KNOW THEY LITTLE BABYBOY IS RUNNING AROUND THE BLOCK ,THEY DONT SEEM TO CARE!

AT THE END, I AS A MUSLIM LADY AM GONNA LOOSE!
CUS IF I CHOOSE TO WAIT FOR MARRIGE OR JUST DO IT NOW, IM GONNA END UP WITH SOME MAN WHO IS NOT PIOUS(VIGIN)!
AND THIS FRIGHTNES ME,,,,CUS I DONT WANT TO WORRY ABOUT THIS NOW, BUT CANT HELP IT, CUS ITS THE TRUTH.

PS: SUTCH DOBBLESTANDARDS,
I WAS ON A FORUM//DEBATE SIDE EARLIER TODAY, SO MANY NON-MUSLIM WOMAN WHO ARE MARRIED TO MUSLIM MENN, AND BY THIS I MEAN NON-MUSLIM, RATHER AGNOSTIC WHICH MEAN THEY DO NOT BELONG TO THE PEOPLE OF THE BOOK, YET THEESE WOMEN ARE ALLOWED TO SHARE BED IN HIS PARENTS HOUSE BEFRE MARRIAGE, IF THIS WAS THE WAY AROUND THEY PARENTS WOULD FREAK CUS THEIR BELOVED DAUGHTER MUST BE A VIRGIN,,,,WHY DO GUYS GET AWAY, DO STUFF,
THE WORST PART IS WHEN SOME WESTERN GUY CONVERT TO ISLAM, FIND ONE GIRL FROM A MUSLIM COUNTRY, YET THE PARANTS SAY NO? WHILE THEIR SON HAS MARRIED AN UNBELIVER, THEY WARTHFTHLY ACCEPTED HER, LET HER SHARE BED BEFORE THE WEEEDIDDDIN, COME ON,, WHY DONT ANYBODY TAKE THIS ISSUE UP?
JUST LOOK ON UTUBE, SHEIKS CRITEZIING WOMEN FOR SMALL THINGS SUTCH AS PARFYME, WHY DONT THEY TAKE THIS REAL ISSUES UP? WHICH CONTAINS MUSLIMS MENS BEHAVIOUR...

Phew, you're pissed. Me too I want a virgin gal. Now I'm not a good straight kid, not nearly as straight as an arrow.

Everyone says I can't have a virgin, why?? Cos I had gf's before??
So in your book even if I sincerely change tomorrow I must never get married to a virgin cos I don't deserve it. It's people like you who put me off, it's fine if I deceive a gal and break her virginity, but I must not repent and expect to marry one...

If I ever have to kill for something, it would be for, "A woman"
If I ever have to kill something it would have to be, "A woman"

you allowed to expect to marry one. but you have to think about her point of view, its not like you're buying a virgin. if she wants a virgin guy then you wont be on the list. if she dont mind then you stand a chance (what with all the repenting and reforming you're gona do)

Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary?

Lilly wrote:
you allowed to expect to marry one. but you have to think about her point of view, its not like you're buying a virgin. if she wants a virgin guy then you wont be on the list. if she dont mind then you stand a chance (what with all the repenting and reforming you're gona do)

Naah, people will always judge you by your past, always. When you do right no one remembers when you do wrong no one forgets...

If I ever have to kill for something, it would be for, "A woman"
If I ever have to kill something it would have to be, "A woman"

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